RB Smith Sadly Predicts Detroit Is Playoff Bound

It’s that time again: time for your Friday afternoon delusion. This week it’s courtesy of Detroit running back (and only good player on the team) Kevin Smith, who confidently predicts the Lions will make the playoffs.

Detroit Lions

I’ll type that again so you’re sure it’s no typo. Kevin Smith says the Lions will make the playoffs in 2009. And what’s worse is that it isn’t even his most unbelievable statement, since he follows that up by saying, “We weren’t far off last year.”

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Cubs Pitcher Ryan Dempster Gets His Plaxico On

It may be more along the lines of getting his Carlos Zambrano on. Regardless, Ryan Dempster is coming into spring training confident — so much so that he’s predicting that the Chicago Cubs will win the World Series this year, for the first time since 1908.

Ryan Dempster

According to the CHICAGO TRIBUNE (complete with WGN video on the site), Dempster isn’t just giving us the boilerplate every player usually gives at the start of spring training.
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“Laugh In” DVDs Soon To Be Flying Out The Door

Yeah, we know some people who picked the Giants to win. But invariably, those predictions still had the game above the over. In charting the abyss that is NFL analyst and celebrity Super Bowl prognostications, we could only find one person who got the game remotely correct, at least score-wise.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you, Dr. Joyce Brothers:

Dr. Joyce Brothers Nails Giants Pick On The Nose

In case you can’t read our crappy screen shot, Dr. Brothers said, “Giants, 17-10. I believe the Giants are going to win. I haven’t paid that much attention this year.

We don’t know what’s more amazing, that she nailed the game, or that people still consider her a celebrity.

Clear Evidence The NY Giants Are Due To Repeat

Jeremy Shockey was profiled in some sort of photo essay by FHM back in 2003, which we discovered in an image search today. This was when he was riding high for winning the rookie of the year award, and riding high for riding Vida Guerra at the time.

Jeremy Shockey Flips Two Birds

2008 is Shockey’s seventh year in the league, so Giants fans can rest their heads tonight knowing that next season is already in good hands.

Full image of the photo essay is after the jump.

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Toomer: Pats Were “Inviting Us To Their Parties”

The more you peel back layers from the aftermath of the Giants’ upset last night, the more it looks like the Patriots weren’t mentally or physically prepared.

Randy Moss made it clear after the loss what he thought of the Patriots coaching staff, saying “The Giants had a better game plan than we did, they came ready to play four quarters.

Patriots fans party

Giants receiver Amani Toomer though gives us the most telling glance into the Patriots’ mindset.

The SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE reports Toomer said, “They were inviting us to their (victory) parties after the game. They showed us no respect.

Did the Patriots still party after the loss? We know at least one guy who did, no doubt.

Actually Tom, Turns Out “Plax WAS On Defense”

Decades from now, the quote that should reverberate from Super Bowl 42 is Tom Brady’s response to Plaxico Burress’ 23-17 victory prediction last week Wednesday: “We’re only going to score 17 points? OK. Is Plax playing defense?”

Tom Brady Quote Plaxico Burress

Burress of course was dead wrong, the Pats only managed 14 points.

As we get older, and we start to grasp our own mortality, we begin to quantify experiences. As in, how many more times will we get to kiss our girlfriend? How many more times we will get to grasp our mother’s hand? And how many times will we get to see Eli Manning become a heroic Greek figure?

When it comes to the latter, we sadly doubt we’ll experience it again.

But Sunday wasn’t about the Giants, it was about Mercury Morris’ home mortgage being saved from foreclosure by Robert Kraft & Co. The falling down done by the Patriots will make this the most harkened NFL season-ender in history, or at the very least a nice companion to Super Bowl III. But no one will remember David Tyree for it.

We’re also happy to report that football’s version of Macbeth may yet have an Epilogue to endure.

SbB’s Official SB Prediction: Giants 35, Patriots 31

That is all.

Super Bowl Fans

See you after the game.

Blog-A-Roni: Ryan Howard Looking Good In Tights

• BUGS & CRANKS caputres Ryan Howard looking good in red tights.

Ryan Howard video game motion suit

• SLATE tries to help the church out by finding loopholes in the NFL’s Super Bowl party policy.

• Keeping with the Big Game, THE WORLD OF ISAAC scrapes together some last-minute predictions from some of your old favorites.

• FAN IQ’s 100% INJURY RATE keeps their mouths shut, so they don’t make their own unreliable sports guarantees.

Nick Saban Dolphins

• GIRLS & SPORTS draws up their year in review.

• This weekend’s expected Super Bowl blowout has Will Leitch spending his SPORTING NEWS column reminiscing about the ’90s.

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