It was close, but last night’s BCS Championship Game was far from a classic. Now nobody’s sure who the best team in the country is, with Utah, USC, and Texas all able to make legitimate claims. It certainly didn’t look like either one of the teams playing last night deserved it. The only thing we do know is that Fox broadcaster Thom Brennaman has a Florida-sized man crush on Tim Tebow, who finally decided to not suck in the fourth quarter of the Gators’ 24-14 win over Oklahoma. Brennaman and Charles Davis‘ gushing reached unbearable levels late in the game, when, after Tebow received a taunting penalty, they suggested that he was baited into it by an OU player (with zero evidence to suggest that was true). How could this guy have possibly done anything wrong?:

As for the Sooners, Sam Bradford continued a storied tradition of that year’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback playing like crap in the title game. Lions fans officially have nothing to look forward to.

The highlight of the game for me personally was the fact that ACC referee Ron Cherry was involved. Cherry made waves last season for creating a new reason to call a personal foul:

We know that the coaches are supposedly required to give their #1 vote to the BCS winner (although Utah’s Kyle Whittingham says he’s voting for his team), but the AP title was up for grabs. And even though Florida’s win could be considered somewhat lackluster (the defensive effort was really good, I’ll admit), they got 48 of 64 first-place votes, with the Utes receiving the other 16 and finishing #2. Way to make a statement, there, disgruntled sportswriters of America.

Rocco Baldelli and his weird mystery disease signed with the Red Sox yesterday. He’ll only get $500,00 in base salary, but can earn an additional $1.75 million if he stays on the roster all year. John Smoltz is rumored to be the next signing for the Red Sox. Meanwhile, Trevor Hoffman signed a $6 million dollar deal to be the closer for the Brewers this year.

Let’s get on with the linking:

• YAHOO SPORTS’ Adrian Wojnarowski writes that the Portland Trail Blazers are threatening litigation against any team that decides to sign Darius Miles. The Blazers were able to purge Miles’ contract from their salary cap last year when they succesfully argued that he had suffered career-ending injuries. But Miles recovered, and has played eight games. If he plays two more games, his salary goes back on Portland’s cap, limiting the Blazers’ versatility in the offseason free-agent market and also sending luxury tax money to every other team in the league. The Blazers are worried that some team will sign Miles to a 10-day contract just to screw them over.

•  Stanford’s win over Washington in women’s basketball was expected. But nobody really thought the Cardinal would win the game by 77 points. Yikes. It’s the largest margin of victory in Pac-10 history. Stanford led 62-15 at halftime and rolled to a 112-35 win. The SEATTLE P-I has the game story.

• NEWSDAY says Brett Favre’s in no hurry to decide whether or not to return next year.  The suspense is killing me.

• According to MLB TRADE RUMORS, the Pirates are talking to the Yankees about a trade for Xavier Nady. You know, the same guy the Pirates traded to the Yankees last year. They might have new management, but they’re the same ol’ Pirates.

• THE DALY PLANET says that NASCAR’s truck series may be in a bit of trouble, and that you can count the number of drivers with a full-time ride in the series “on two hands.”

• This letter to the editor in the WALL STREET JOURNAL hits on a truth that isn’t often talked about so plainly: if you’re an NFL fan, you’re a fan of socialism.

• Iowa Hawkeyes radio broadcaster and former NFL player Ed Podolak was having some fun down in Tampa last week before the Outback Bowl. THE WIZ OF ODDS has the photos, courtesy of an Iowa State message board (of course):

• Curt Schilling is getting after Dan Shaughnessy again, this time about Shaughnessy treating Roger Clemens and Pedro Martinez differently in the same situation and suggesting the race card. THE BIG LEAD has the details.

• The EXAMINER’s Paula Duffy reports that the WNBA and L.A. Sparks are doing their best to pretend that they aren’t furious over the news that 2008 league MVP Candace Parker is pregnant. Parker is set to give birth in May, and it’s unclear when she’ll be able to return to the court, if at all, in 2009.

• THE NASHVILLE SCENE says a Tennessee representative has proposed a $400 yearly tax for pro athletes and entertainers as a way for the state to make money. Tennessee has no state income tax. No word on whether or not Kerry Collins would have to pay double.

David Stern has had to put up with a lot over his 25 years as NBA commissioner, but he’s probably never had to endure the wrath of a player’s angry grandmother.

That’s about to change, courtesy of Joel Przybilla’s granny, who has apparently vowed to write Stern every day until she gets a response. Why is she so ticked off? Stern gave her grandson a $7,500 fine for his role in an incident during the Blazers-Hornets game on Friday that resulted in Tyson Chandler getting kicked out of the game. Not only was Przybilla not tossed, he ended up shooting free throws. So why the fine? Video of the brouhaha after the jump.

Read more…

The sins of the Patriots shall be visited upon the Celts? How else to explain Tuesday’s Boston-Portland tangle, when an unguarded Travis Outlaw was allowed to dunk in the closing seconds of the first half? Unguarded, not insignificantly, because the Blazers ran the play with six men on the court.

Kevin Garnett, the only man on the court who could count, brought it to the attention of the refs. They awarded a technical, but allowed the basket. Those two points mattered, because Portland came out on top by five. The NBA admitted today the refs dropped the ball, but will allow the result to stand. That’s funny, because it was little more than a year ago when they sung a different tune. (Video of the play after the jump).

Read more…

The conventional wisdom is that the Pac-10 was having an exceedingly down year. In fact, that’s probably the main reason that USC was left out of the National Championship discussion: their one loss against a Pac-10 school was far worse than a loss to an SEC or Big 12 team.

So what do we make of Oregon’s 42-31 victory over Oklahoma State in last night’s Holiday Bowl? Yes, the Ducks featured an explosive offense, which you would expect from an Oregon team and is apparently mandatory to play in the Holiday Bowl. But the story was their defense in the second half, which put the clamps on the Cowboys’ star QB Zac Robinson.

How physical were they? DR. SATURDAY has some video evidence from YouTube of just one of the many big hits Robinson took in the second half:

It was just a big day all around for Oregon sports teams. Along with the Ducks winning the Holiday Bowl, the Portland Trail Blazers did the improbable on Tuesday night, taking out the defending champion Boston Celtics 91-86 without the services of injured All-Star guard Brandon Roy.

Keeping in mind it might be foolish for the Celtics to start panicking now - they are still 28-5 - but they have lost three of four. Oh hell, where the fun of having a sense of perspective: between this, the Patriots missing the playoffs and the Red Sox getting rejected by Mark Teixeira, let’s start wildly speculating about the end of the Boston sports dynasty.

Other sports news that happened as you prepare to get your drank on tonight:

• LeBron James’ birthday wasn’t as successful as he would have liked, as he lost his showdown with Dwayne Wade’s Heat 104-95. Somehow you excuse me if I’m not too sympathetic. Still, the game was a lot of fun to watch - NESW SPORTS has highlights of some impressive blocks each superstar had during the game:
  

• Most coaches are petrified of their players getting distracted by the glitz and parties that surround bowl games, especially if they are some place exciting like Miami. Which explains why the CINCINNATI ENQUIRER says Bearcats head coach Brian Kelly is debating moving his team from the hotel they are staying at ahead of the Orange Bowl because Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is having a New Year’s Eve party there.
• DIME WARS has awesome video of the Pistons’ Rasheed Wallace doing what he does best: taunting and baiting NBA referees. What can you say? The man is the best of all time.
• Wrestling legend/sock afficianado Mick Foley is upset with a Sports Illustrated review of the new movie “The Wrestler” that compared him to a homeless person, and he’s written an open letter on the TNA WRESTLING Web site about it. And then, for some reason, he fell 30 feet through three flaming tables to prove his point.
• The BOSTON HERALD says Red Sox slugger Kevin Youklis is in trouble with state officials because he hasn’t registered his Hits For Kids charity as a non-profit.
• Classic baseball fight! THE BIZ OF BASEBALL notes that ESPN Classic will be airing a memorable game from baseball history every Monday night starting in January to compete with the new MLB Network.
• The AFP has reports of deaths in Vietnam that you can’t blame on Richard Nixon: four people were killed and more than 400 injured on the roads following evening-long celebrations of the country’s win in a regional soccer tournament.
• An ugly story: ARKANSASSPORTS360.com says that former Razorbacks fullback Mark Pierce may have been the driver in a DWI crash that ended in a fatality on Tuesday. Add this to the British soccer player accused in a deadly crash, and you’ve got a holiday week of suck.
• The LA TIMES reports that UCLA defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker, long considered to be a prime candidate for a head coaching job somewhere, is finally going to get his chance at New Mexico State. Of the seven African American head coaches in the FBS, two are in the state of New Mexico.
• More from the Danny Villa mess: the BOSTON HERALD says that his wife has filed divorce papers against the disgraced former NFL player and HS football coach accused of raping an underage student. Hope he has a good divorce lawyer.

When Greg Oden entered the league, he was seen as a fun-loving kid who just happened to look 45. Well, now his persona is reportedly matching his appearance, taking a nose dive just when a number of middle-aged stock brokers watch their retirement pension funds go up in smoke. Hey, you’d be pretty depressed, too, if you lost $3 million in a week.

(Leave Greg and his puppy alone. They’re sulking.)

Oden? This guy should be happy with one of the world’s greatest lives. He’s an immensely compensated professional athlete who lives in a beautiful city that wants nothing more than to love him as he resurrects the franchise. The problem is that, while the Trail Blazers are clearly on an upswing, Oden hasn’t been the catalyst. That’s left the big man more than sulky, according to PORTLAND OREGONIAN beat writer Jason Quick on Portland’s 1080 THE FAN sports radio on Wednesday. Here’s the best pull from what Quick had to say:

I can’t really stand to be around him. He’s such a downer. He’s not a very fun guy to be around and he’s not a very fun guy to talk to. I think his teammates like him, but that guy is not interacting with very many guys in the locker room right now. He can’t let go of being Greg Oden. I think he’s obsessing with all this expectations. Until he starts having fun again playing basketball, he’s not going to get better. I don’t know how he’s going to do that.

That sure sounds like early burnout, doesn’t it?

Read more…

Greg Oden is already known as a quirky big man. He’s eco-sensitive, openly campaigned for the president-elect before he even had the Democratic nomination and is all to happy singing horrible karaoke. Still, new developments may push him right up into the stratosphere currently occupied by only Brook and Robin Lopez: Oden watches Gossip Girl.

(Greg Oden’s Monday night: Just add popcorn.)

That’s right, folks. The show that your girlfriend keeps trying to rope you into unsuccessfully is a staple on the Oden television set. How do we know he’s into the New York City exploits of Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf (They had to name a New York-based character Waldorf? Really? They couldn’t come up with something more subtle?)? Well, as THE BIG LEAD first pointed out, Oden brings it up himself in his YARDBARKER blog:

Then in New York i just like it, me and Steve Blake went out to dinner and i got to see some of the places that were on this weeks episode of Gossip Girl.

Read more…

Thank God we finally have Brady Quinn’s first start out of the way so we don’t have to listen to the speculation every week about when he’s going to get a shot and see that stupid NFL draft footage anymore. Why do so many people care? I mean, great, he played pretty well for Notre Dame against Navy and Stanford but got killed in every big game. Way to go, bud, I guess doing all that and playing absolutely no NFL football is good enough to get yourself a Fathead.

(Uh, dude, you know he voted for McCain, right?)

Brady did, however, have the Browns in good position to win last night, leading the Broncos 23-13 after three quarters. But Jay Cutler finally lived up to his own hype and got it done in the fourth quarter, like a certain other Bronco quarterback did a couple of times in Cleveland. (See, aren’t these Cutler-Elway comparisons just ridiculous?) Denver scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter and won the game 34-30. Cutler threw for 447 yards in the game, and Quinn put up a respectable 239 yards with two touchdowns. The game was viewed by approximately 39 fans on the NFL Network, and 17 people on a choppy SopCast feed from Denmark.

Speaking of football games nobody could watch, #10 Utah rallied from an early 10-0 deficit and beat #11 TCU 13-10 last night in a game that was on some channel called CBS College Sports. Never did I think I’d actually be complaining that a game wasn’t on Versus. Since this channel isn’t part of my DirecTV package, I assume that it ended in exciting fashion. Actually, there’s proof that it ended in exciting fashion (and a Dan Fouts sighting!).

(”I used to be on Monday Night Football and now I’m calling Mountain West games on some station that 4% of the country gets.”)

Over on ESPN, Virginia Tech took care of Maryland 23-13, plunging the ACC into even more mediocrity. Freshman Darren Evans set a school record with 253 rushing yards. One of the odd BCS rules out there is that a non-BCS team can actually automatically qualify for a BCS game if they finish in the top 16 AND finish ahead of the winner of one of the BCS conferences. And never has this been more possible with the top ACC being currently ranked 19th (North Carolina) and all 12 teams in the league sitting with at least two conference losses. So just because Utah or Boise State loses a game or you think Ball State is too far down to make it, it’s still very likely that we’ll be seeing one of these teams on Fox in January.

There was a spectacular ending in the NBA last night in Portland that most of you on the East Coast probably missed. With the Rockets trailing the Blazers 98-96 with 1.9 seconds left in overtime, Yao Ming hit an 18-foot baseline jumper while he was being hacked to tie the game. He then made the free throw to give the Rockets a 99-98 lead. But Brandon Roy swished a rainbow 30-footer as time expired to give the Blazers a crazy 101-99 win. Check out the video:

• DEREK HAIL says that the Eagles’  Hank Baskett proposed to Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson at the top of the Space Needle in Seattle this past weekend.  I suppose I’m required by law to post a picture of her now:

• Some dude is claiming to have made five holes-in-one in a week. No, it’s not Kim Jong-Il, it’s some guy in Illinois. The DAILY HERALD is buying it, but I’m a bit skeptical.

• Our favorite Indian pitchers, Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, finally had their tryout yesterday. The ARIZONA REPUBLIC’s Jim Walsh has the details. In short, a lot of scouts think they deserve a shot, but nobody thinks it should be their team that gives it to them.

• The SAN DIEGO UNION TRIBUNE quotes Padres GM Kevin Towers as saying that Jake Peavy’s “train has left the station,” which means the ‘07 Cy Young winner is going to be traded soon. He also has a full no-trade clause.

• The Raider players are finally starting to speak out about all the insanity going on around them, and are telling it to David White of the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE.

• The University of Oregon is debuting a baseball team this season. And you know what that means — ridiculous Nike uniforms!

The lines in the gray pinstripe uniforms are not actually solid lines — they’re the complete text of the university fight song.

• The Joe Calzaghe-Roy Jones Jr. fight this Saturday isn’t really captivating boxing fans. BOXING NEWS says it’s because the fight is such a mismatch in Calzaghe’s favor.

• The Brewers just picked up Mike Cameron’s option, but that’s not going to prevent them from shopping him to the Yankees for Melky Cabrera and Ian Kennedy, says MLB TRADE RUMORS.

• CNN says that some British guy claims baseball was invented in his country because Jane Austen referenced it in a book.  C’mon, let us have this one, England.

• Charlie Weis is lucky to still have a knee, according to an AP report (via ESPN). He tore his ACL, MCL, PCL, GCL, and Florida State League. He also broke his femur. How is he supporting his body on that thing?

Sure, it’s like talking about the least attractive supermodel you’ve had sex with or the dumbest brain surgeon. But after years of promising starts by dominant teams like the Colts and Patriots, maybe it’s time to turn to the Tennessee Titans, halfway to perfection, and just ask, “Really? You guys are the best team in the NFL?” Because it sure seems like of all the 8-0 teams the NFL has seen throughout the years, they’re the least impressive and the most unlikely to win the Super Bowl.

(Without question, the dumbest brain surgeon alive. Sure hope you don’t have an appointment with him tomorrow.)

Seriously, who have they beaten? Divisional juggernauts Indianapolis and Jacksonville, yes, but they are both on down years. The only team they’ve played with a winning record is the 5-3 Baltimore Ravens, who they edged 13-10 in Week 5.

Look at this team. Just LOOK at them. Kerry freaking Collins is their quarterback. Collins’ passer rating rivals that of the Lions’ QBs and the leading receiver is tight end Bo Scaife with 344 yards. Maybe after all these inexplicable stats, this is just another Jeff Fisher-led team where the breaks are going their way. Remember that Fisher once led the Titans to the playoffs without a single player being named to the Pro Bowl. Even the corps that play amazing are still under the radar, like running back Chris “Who?” Johnson, who leads the AFC in rushing yards (with no lost fumbles). Or the defense, which gives up less than 13 points a game, almost a field goal less than the next best team, the Buccaneers. Quick, name two defenders off the top of your head. BZZT. Thanks for playing.

So they’re just a tough, small-market football team that always plays well and is just over-performing a little bit. Good for them, but it’s not like an 8-0 start from the Colts or the Patriots, because then we’d be talking about them.

So now let’s talk about them. After all, neither of those teams are far from perfect. In fact, they may not even be the second, or third, or even the fourth best teams in the AFC. New England notched their third loss with an 18-15 defeat to Indianapolis on Sunday Night Football, evening Indy’s record at 4-4. This is the definition of parity. The previous two champions are a combined 9-7 at the halfway point. And what kind of final score is 18-15 for two prominent teams? 18-15 is the final score for a couple of rural Wyoming high school football teams where the graduating class is about 50.

“Woo! World f%cking champions! Burn stuff and throw other stuff that isn’t burning!” Once the debris is swept off the streets and the Phillies faithful wake up from their happy drunken nap, they’ll soon notice their GM Pat Gillick got dressed, exited the bedroom, and left a “I’ll Always Love You” note on the nightstand. He was always a gentle lover. Ruben Amaro will be his replacement as general manager.

The Phillies would love to have him back, but really, it should just be a rule that if you’re the GM of a team that wins the World Series, you should just retire on the spot, because there’s not much else you can do. Nobody repeats anymore, and even if someone will, the Philharmonics are not the kind of team that will. So it’s probably best that Gillick, after giving a city a badly needed championship, ride into the sunset much like the mysterious gunman Shane.

It’s also time to say farewell to another face, but not for the same joyous reason:

• Goodbye, Tom Amstutz. The TOLEDO BLADE reports that the beloved rotund football coach for the Toledo Rockets will be stepping down from the position. After a great stretch of success in the early 2000s with four bowl games, Amstutz’s teams have underperformed as of late despite a seismic victory over Michigan a few weeks ago. With him gone, who else will be in Mark Mangino’s weight class?
• Michael Rosenberg of the DETROIT FREE PRESS hikes up news that the winless Lions suddenly have a QB controversy between Dan Orlovsky and the newly-inked Daunte Culpepper. This should be fun, if not for Lions fans, then for the rest of the world. After all, Scott Mitchell is not walking through that door. (They changed the locks.)
• Wrigley Field didn’t have any planned expansions this offseason, but something in their stadium expanded by exactly one blue tile. It appears the “Eamus Catuli” sign was updated to read “AC0063100.” That’s zero years since their last division title, 63 years since their last World Series, and 100 since their last championship. The “AC” is for former Lakers forward A.C. Green, but nobody knows why. So here’s a picture:

  

  As spoken by HOME RUN DERBY, who I think we can credit with the photo, “00-63-100 might be the worst measurements in the history of measurements.”

• Ken Griffey, Jr. back with the Mariners? The SEATTLE TIMES says he’d be cool with that.
• DAWG SPORTS tries to cope with Georgia’s 49-10 loss to Florida in many different ways…
• …while Texas Tech, fresh off a dramatic win over No. 1 Texas, is the latest campus to fall victim to the cold, douchebaggardly, and illegal method of selling counterfeit tickets to unsuspecting marks. About 500 people bought fake tickets, many at about $200 each. Oh, and guess what? They have another home Top 10 showdown this Saturday against Oklahoma State. From now on, don’t buy any tickets that look like they were printed on the reverse side of AIG stock.
• It really wasn’t a great day in Texas for everyone. Jimmie Johnson’s points lead was slashed dramatically in NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Chase from 183 to 106 with a 15th place finish, and the FORT WORTH STAR TELEGRAM was there. Carl Edwards, who trails the defending champion Johnson by a still-huge margin, won the Dickies 500 at Texas Speedway. Maybe Edwards should start to try and twist in his flips.
• Just so everyone’s clear, not everything reported in Russia is accurate. The Toronto Maple Leafs are good, but the TORONTO STAR explains they’re not trade-for-Ilya Kovalchuk good. Leafs GM Cliff Fletcher had to dispel a rumor started by the Russian newspaper SPORTS EXPRESS DAILY who said the Leafs were the front runners to acquire the disgruntled star. So much for Russian spies.
• And finally, to prove how naughty the world has been, interim 49ers coach Mike Singletary says he’s going to scale back his rants from “amphetamine-induced” to “interim head coach intensity.” What did we do to have this taken away from us? Was it the jokes at the expense of a perfectly competent brain surgeon? Because I regret nothing.

They may not be the Jail Blazers anymore, but two players from Portland are still committing crimes against fashion! (Ba-zing!) In this notebook column in THE OREGONIAN lies a heartwarming tale of laughter, friendship, and Rudy Fernandez pouting like a little girl because his teammates made fun of him.

Fernandez and Sergio Rodriguez had an off day in Los Angeles this past Tuesday, and did what any self-respecting professional athlete would do with free time in a den of iniquity: they went shopping for sweaters! Not just any sweaters; matching sweaters. (Teammates being a little too close, after the jump.)

Read more…

It was a slow night in the world of sports with the baseball playoffs off until Thursday, and the only football game to be found was the timeless Troy-Florida Atlantic rivalry. So let’s focus our attention on what really matters: Eli Manning’s futuristic space condo.

Manning and his wife have a hyper-modern 3,000 square-foot condo in Hoboken, N.J., where nearly everything is operated with a remote control. Among the amenities: several 63-inch flat screens, steam-resistant speakers in the bathroom, and a secret bar stocked with top shelf liquor. ELECTRONIC HOUSE magazine is on the scene (with a slideshow to boot):

Eli’s guests are probably most excited by the hidden bar in the living room. It appears to be a normal column next to the wet bar–until Eli presses a button on a nearby Crestron wall panel. It then becomes James Bond-esque: The column slowly rotates and reveals a covert bar area. “I just kind of wanted the place to have a little secret,” Eli laughs.

Also included are two layers of automated shades that provide varying degrees of sunlight exposure. The place even has a computer that sets the the interior lighting to pre-programmed levels at the touch of a button. You know, for those days when you can’t even be bothered to expend the energy to flip a switch.

Unfortunately, most avenues for humor here have been completely destroyed by the fact that Eli Manning is currently the reigning Super Bowl MVP. He was a much easier target when he was losing playoff games 23-0.

In the things-that-actually-happened-last-night department, Greg Oden finally made his long-awaited debut as Portland stomped Sacramento 110-81 in the preseason opener for both teams. Oden had 13 points, five rebounds, and two blocks in 20 minutes of action. It was also the NBA debut for Portland’s Rudy Fernandez, who delivered several highlight moments to a near sell-out crowd at the Rose Garden. Even more impressive: none of the current Blazers have ever been charged with a felony.

Now for your Wednesday surgery round-up! Mariano Rivera had a calcified joint shaved in his shoulder. The shavings will be packed in a Pringles can and auctioned on eBay.  He should be able to throw again in three months, and is expected to not have lasting effects. Meanwhile, Omar Vizquel had laser eye surgery. I’m sure the Giants are happy that he did this after he hit .222 for them this year. The Cubs’ Carlos Marmol got into a car accident in the Dominican Republic and had to get some stitches in his head.

Of course, Marmol could’ve just as easily ended up with a gash in his head on Saturday night at Dodger Stadium if he would’ve been anywhere near teammates who took frustrations out on the plumbing near the visiting dugout after their season-ending loss. The pipe-bashers caused a flood, according to the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES’ Chris De Luca. Brad Lidge is scheduled to tear a quad slipping in the puddle Sunday night.

• If the Dodgers do somehow win the World Series this year, let’s hope they take a cue from their 1981 counterparts and put together a four-man singing crew that rivals this one (thanks to BIG LEAGUE STEW for the video footage):

• WFAN’s Sweeny Murti thinks he knows why the Yankees aren’t doing so well these days: they could’ve drafted better players between 1997 and 2003. What he doesn’t acknowledge? Every other team passed on all of the listed players they could’ve had at least once as well.

• The Flyers played at the Spectrum for the final time last night (the building is being torn down next year), and lost — to their minor-league affiliate. To be fair, it was a home game for the Phantoms.

• Yesterday was the 100th annversary of the worst beatdown in college football history, so says BLEACHER REPORT. You’re off the hook, Neuheisel.

• What does 11-19 in your first three years get you? If you’re Colorado football coach Dan Hawkins, it’s is a two-year extension (AP, via YAHOO! SPORTS).

• Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s son is the owner of the AAA baseball and minor-league soccer franchises in Portland and he’s looking for an $85 million bailout from local taxpayers to help renovate their current stadium for an MLS team and build a new baseball stadium, says OREGONLIVE.COM.

• HOME RUN DERBY’s jersey of the week? This guy:

Looking in the mirror might be painful for a few days.

• The Saints have taken down a photo of the Vikings’ Chad Greenway clutching Reggie Bush’s facemask, according to PRO FOOTBALL TALK.  The team claims that posting the photo didn’t have anything to do with being mad at Ed Hochuli’s crew for missing the call.

• Broncos kicker Matt Prater tells the AP (via the NEW YORK TIMES) that he wants a shot at breaking the record for longest field goal, after his 55-yarder on Sunday looked like it would’ve been good from 70 yards. Unfortunately, Lane Kiffin isn’t his coach.

• Last, but most definitely not least, SHORT NEWS has the heartwarming tale of an injured soccer player who discarded crutches and a cast and scored the game winning goal with his injured foot…and then vomited from the overwhelming pain.