2009 is already assured to go down in the annals of pop culture/tech history as The Year of Twitter. No doubt it’s a powerful tool; not only did it allow one-named celebrities like Shaq and Oprah to connect with their millions of fans, it somehow managed the herculean feat of getting people to actually pay attention to Ashton Kutcher. It’s a tool that, despite its many limitations, has brought people from different worlds together as friends, 140 characters at a time.

Detroit Pistons rookie DaJuan Summers (@dsummers35) might not have the celebrity status of Shaq yet, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have fun with Twitter too. While Shaq is busy flirting with David Beckham on Twitter, Summers is off having a Twitter bet with porn star Valerie Luxe, the “baddest, realest, funniest bitch on Twitter” (@ValerieLuxe). Guess what the winner gets…

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It would be nice if Gina Carano could face an opponent with strong fighting skills who could also share her same sex appeal. Because as far as gals that can kick your ass, Gina’s quite a looker (despite Kit Cope’s criticisms). Well, we may have finally found Gina’s match in porn star Stormy Daniels.

As Rick noted in this morning’s Speed Read, Ms. Daniels was arrested last Saturday on charges of domestic battery. Stormy - who’s known off the set as Stephanie Gregory Clifford - reported became upset at her husband over an unpaid bill & began throwing things at him.

But Stormy denies erupting into a raging tempest toward her better half. Why, it was all just a wacky misunderstanding!

(As you would expect, more stunning pics of Stormy after the jump.)

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MARKS FRIGGIN reports that yesterday, sex-for-money performer Mary Carey appeared on Howard Stern.

(Howard Stern claims he’s seen Cabrera, Carey having sex on video)

During the visit, Stern claimed that he saw a video of Carey having sex with Yankees outfielder Melky Cabrera. I wasn’t able to find any such production online, but I do remember seeing Carey in a vid a couple months ago - as she attemped to communicate with a shirtless Cabrera in a random hotel room. Hmmm.

(Athletes having sex with Mary? Get on the back of the train)

So, did they indeed have sex?

(See a pattern developing?)

And how did Cabrera, who speaks spare English, end up ensnarled with a porno parasite like Carey? (Video after the jump.)

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If you know me at all, then you know that my eternal quest has been to find some connection between former Browns head coach Sam Rutligliano and porn. Today I am happy to announce, mission accomplished! Thanks to the lovely lady below, in the future when you think of porn (and you will), you can also think of Rutigliano, who once teamed with Jerry Falwell to sue the NCAA for not letting his Liberty University players pray in the end zone following touchdowns.

Catalina Cruz (pictured) is a porn actress and Cleveland native who was interviewed on Monday by radio station 1560 The Game in Houston. In looking over the transcripts on SPORTS RADIO INTERVIEWS.COM, I found out that her mother once worked for the Browns, as the secretary for the head coach when Rutligliano was there. Irony, thou art awesome and good.

(Also awesome & good: More Catalina Cruz photos after the jump.)

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Here’s some screen caps that were emailed to me a while back. They’re from the waning moments of Orlando’s 106-100 win over the Sixers at the Wachovia (What the hell is it now?) Center on Feb. 28.

Yeah, it was a tough night for 76er Theo Ratliff that evening (0 points), but at least he was heartened by a possible postgame rendezvous at Bookbinders down on Walnut?

Or was that a late check-in at the PHL Airport Sheraton?

I haven’t posted the screen grabs until now, as I was searching out the possible identity of the large-lunged lovely who caught Ratliff’s attention.

Her identity and more pics after the jump.

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Patrick Berkery of PHILLY BURBS has a fun note for us this morning:

(Hopefully she was referring to his personality)

Porn star Sophia Rossi told Howard Stern this morning that she slept with Pat Burrell and that the former Phillies LF was “immature.”

Wow, can you BELIEVE THAT? Unreal! I mean, who knew that someone actually still subscribes to Sirius?

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Race horses have the career trajectory of porn stars. They start off as soon as they’re legal to perform, get purchased up by sleazy old white men, are viewed by millions of people over an extremely short period of time, and then, mere years later, have become so beaten and broken by the system that they’re forced to retire to a stud farm. Well folks, it’s time to open up the breeding gates once more: Big Brown’s career is over.

The 3-year-old championship colt injured his right foot today during a workout while preparing for the upcoming Breeders’ Cup Classic, which was to be his final race before retiring. Big Brown was able to complete his six-furlough work - whatever that means - until trainer Rick Dutrow noticed all sorts of blood coming out of his foot. “It looks like he grabbed himself in a bad spot,” Dutrow said.

But the important thing is, how will this latest injury affect his stud fee?

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Thank god for the investigative journalism skills of Dan Gross of the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS. Yesterday, the NEW YORK POST reported on an anonymous Philly 76er who balloon-implanted sex worker Mary Carey “wrapped her legs around and made out with in front of clubgoers.”

It’s kinda embarrassing for said player, since Gross also reports that he said he was a “fan” of her movies and told her she was a “goddess.” Ugh. Read more…