Ben Affleck fancies himself one of the biggest Red Sox fans. Now the actor is sharing one more thing with his favorite team: former girlfriend Enza Sambataro, who married Kevin Youkilis yesterday. Because Youkilis is so tough, he’ll likely play through the lacerations he received from stepping on the glass.

David Ortiz, Mike Lowell and Dustin Pedroia attended the wedding in Cabo San Lucas, along with Mike O’Malley and one of the Wahlberg brothers, and this post is fast turning into Boston B-List Hell. Far be it from me to say that Youkilis is just looking for eye candy to add to the current stable of Red Sox wives, but Sambataro’s job is listed as CEO of Youkilis’ charity. Thankfully she is pretty easy on the eyes: (Pics after the jump.)

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• CONSTRUDA saves their singles, as a New York strip club is offering free lap dances for the Super Bowl champion Giants.

• Now that collegiate coffins have been okayed, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY offers up suggestions for scholastic-themed sex toys.

• THE BIZ OF BASKETBALL talks trash, as Steve Nash will be wearing Nike’s new recycled shoe.

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WIOD-AM of Miami reports that former NBA player Glen Rice has been arrested for battery, after pummeling a guy at his estranged wife’s house.

Investigators say Rice entered the home of his wife, Christina, and confronted her about having other men in the house. He soon found 47-year-old Alberto Perez hiding in a bedroom closet. Rice then reportedly hit Perez in the face, grabbed him by the neck, and threw him out of the bedroom. Perez then fled the house & called police.

Shocking that Glen would be so distrusting of his wife, since she’s been so supportive of him in the past.

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• AOL FANHOUSE congratulates Jeff Garcia’s better half for being named sexiest athlete’s wife of 2007:

• DC SPORTS BOG knows nothing keeps a team together like insulting each other.

• And when the Redskins aren’t talking smack, MY BRAIN SAYS RAGE notes they’re talking to ghosts.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY discovers this cartoonish comment on Florida’s effort in the Capital One Bowl:

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT compares the NFL playoff teams to various beers.

• SMARTER finds Terrell Owens trying to trademark “I Love Me Some Me.”

• 100% INJURY RATE wonders when did Amare Stoudamire join the army:

• Chris Bosh wants your vote for the NBA All-Star Game.

• The BOSTON GLOBE learns that Reese Witherspoon is a Red Sox fan.

THAT MYSTIC TAN ENDORSMENT CASH IS ABOUT TO ROLL IN: What the hell was David Coverdale doing at Rich Rodriguez’s press conference at Michigan today?

A-ROD’S DINNER WITH WIFE LEAVES BOTH SPEECHLESS: Now that he’s back with the Bronx Bombers, everything should be hunky-dory again for Alex Rodriguez, right?

Well, not exactly.

The NEW YORK POST’S PAGE SIX spotted A-Rod & wife Cynthia out at Miami restaurant Nobu the other night. A witness reported that during their two-hour dinner, the couple “didn’t say a word to each other.”The spy added, “Not one word. It was weird.”

What’s with the vow of silence? It could be that Cynthia wasn’t feeling well in the throes of her second pregnancy. Or she was miffed that her hubby attended a recent celeb-heavy art show without her. Or she’s still mad at A-Rod for giving up on getting Shaq’s house.

Maybe the Rods just wanted a nice, quiet meal for once. Besides, what can be said in dinner conversation that can’t be said on a t-shirt?

FINDING THE BEST WAY TO YOUKILIS A BALLPLAYER’S LIFE: ATTN: Kevin Youkilis. Please answer the following yes-no questions in order to better help you find your future wife.

Are you looking for a girl who:

1) Has been used-up and spit out by Ben Affleck?
2) Has already been married and pushed out a kid?
3) Refers to you as “insta-dad”?
4) Has been arrested for shoplifting?

If you answered “Yes” to all these questions, please proceed to the nearest ATM machine, take out all your cash, and hand it to this woman:

Oops, looks like you already did!Our favorite quote in the BOSTON GLOBE puffer from Youkilis’ “insta-mom“, Enza Sambataro: “It’s a day-to-day thing,” she said, laughing. “Saturday, we weren’t getting married because Kevin had too many margaritas. But it’s back on now. Right, Kev?“

RED SOX PITCHER’S PLANS FOR JAPAN MIGHT BE NO DICE: As Red Sox Nation knows, Boston’s season will start next year in Tokyo. But now there’s a chance the club’s biggest Japanese star won’t even play:

The ASSOCIATED PRESS delivers news that pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka may be off the mound and in the maternity ward, as his wife Tomoyo is scheduled to be giving birth to their second child around the same time.Red Sox president Larry Lucchino said the team and the MLB front office were already aware of Dice-K’s impending re-fatherhood when they scheduled the games between the Sox & A’s for March 25 & 26.

Lucchino hopes the kid “will be born at such a time to allow (Dice) to participate,” but also added that Dice “has an important obligation with respect to the birth of that child.”If the baby does pop out at that time, Boston won’t be short-handed when it comes to bringing along Japanese pitchers. Hideki Okajima will have a chance to return to the field where he spent 12 years of his career.

And another Sox hurler is already looking forward to the trip. Curt Schilling proclaims, “I’m not going to pitch over there, so I’m going to have fun.”

Seems like he’s already having fun, with his Red Sox squad beating SbB’s Royals in SPORTING NEWS Strat-O-Matic action.Damn him! (for this week, anyway)

• NEWS OF THE WORLD flashes some fun photos of famous football WAGs (maybe NSFW, unless you’re in the plumbing business):

• YOU BEEN BLINDED catches up with Tyrone Hughes, the ex-NFL DB whose been busy taking nude photos of himself and making death threats.• CZABE.COM is not enthralled with the way the BCS is shaping up.

• DEADSPIN tips us to ONE MORE DYING QUAIL quacking out a heart-to-heart with the lovely Erin Andrews:

• THE SPORTS HERNIA keeps a head in the news of the Fox football robot turning into Ichabod Crane.• HOCKEY BLOG IN CANADA sweats over the new Reebok jerseys heating up the NHL.

MIKE BELLOTTI’S BOOZE HOUND-WIFE’S PRESS BOX ATTACK The PORTLAND OREGONIAN’s John Canzano has the sad, pathetic news that he was attacked by the wife of Oregon Coach Mike Bellotti, Colleen, in a booze-fueled tirade.

Canzano recently columnized about the Bellotti’s son, Luke, who received two DUIS. In the height of irony, Mrs. Bellotti (accompanied by her children and nanny) responded to the piece by initiating a violent, alcohol-infused, “hissing” attack against Canzano in the Oregon press box during the Ducks-USC game last Saturday.Canzano reports, “I also told her I believe two DUIIs by an athlete, and coach’s son, are newsworthy to all media outlets, especially considering how her son’s double-secret suspension was treated by the same program that publicly suspended other athletes for alcohol-related offenses. I was disappointed in her approach. Particularly that there were 4-5 children present with her, including the youngest Bellotti son.

“She leaned in, grabbed by my suit lapel, and lit into me with a string of expletives. I told it was poor form that she would approach me in the press box, with a strong smell of alcohol on her breath, hissing and spitting mad, talking to me about alcohol abuse.”

Though there’s no excuse for two DUIs, and his dad’s mishandling of the situation, right now we feel really, really sorry for Luke Bellotti. We think being the son of a booze hound is far worse than being on fake scholarship.