Meet the Naukams — Anna M. and Eugene III, who will get my vote for the Embezzlers Hall of Fame when they become eligible in five years. Not only did Anna Naukam allegedly steal $461,586 from the state of Oklahoma in her capacity as director of a child welfare advocate agency, but she then made in rain, Oklahoma middle-aged woman style.

Among stuff allegedly purchased by Anna with the ill-gotten gains: Cosmetic breast surgery and Texas Tech football tickets. Guns Up! Plus, her son’s tuition at the University of Oklahoma. Keep in mind that this was taxpayer and donated funds intended to help children. Read more…

• Richard Jefferson got cold feet and decided to ditch his beautiful bride-to-be. Too bad the new Spur neglected to inform his wedding guests.

• What’s better than $1 beers at the ballpark? How about $1 beers at the ballpark with a buxom Playboy “Hot Housewife” model?

• A British tennis coach is caught doing a little drive-by wanking near a group of 14-year-old girls.

• Nice to see Erin Andrews, Heather Graham & Kristin Cavallieri all share the same fashion sense.

• Hard to tell what looked weaker last night - President Obama’s first pitch, or the NL All-Stars’ overall play.

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President Obama’s first pitch at the All-Star Game was all well and good, but if you’re like me, you’d much prefer to see a Playboy Playmate with humongous breast implants chuck a ceremonial delivery. It could end up anywhere! (The pitch, I mean). And thanks to the Mahoning Valley Scrappers Minor League Baseball team, we’re both in luck.

Only in Ohio, or perhaps certain cities in Thailand, will you see a promotion like this:  Thursday is $1 Beer Night and Irish Night with the Scrappers, plus an appearance by “Playboy’s Hot Housewives” covergirl Lisa Neeld. I see no way this can end badly.

(Also not bad - more pics of Lisa after the jump.)

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Only a few more weeks until Kendra Wilkinson & Hank Baskett are forever tied in the bonds of holy wedlock! (They’ve already been working on their wedding tans.) Any idea what gifts you’re going to get for the Girl Next Door and the Eagles receiver? The couple neglected to tell me where they’re registered. But I do have an idea of what Kendra’s bridesmaids & Hank’s groomsmen will be getting for their wedding party gifts - stripper poles!

Oh, sorry - I mean “sports poles”!

In one of our previous articles on Ms. Wilkinson, the Playboy-based piece o’ tail & aspiring entrepreneur mentioned she would soon be coming out with her own exercise pole, making sure that Carmen Electra wasn’t cornering the market. Well, she was true to her word, as the Kendra Wilkinson Sports Pole is ready to ship out across the U.S.A.!

Even better, Kendra is more than happy to show us how it works. See what the pole can do to for you after the jump.

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Gina Carano took an awful lot of the questions in Las Vegas last night after LaTasha Marzolla, a former Playboy model, made her MMA debut in Tuff-N-Uff, an amateur free-for-all that the LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL lovingly referred to as “far more rookie ball types than Triple-A prospects“.

That’s no problem, though, since Marzolla let her fists speak well enough in a single round. Her opponent, Christy Tada, didn’t answer the call for the second round after a confident showing marred only by initial hesitation, according to the LAS VEGAS SUN.

(More pics of LaTasha after the jump.)

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• A sad way to start the baseball week: Phillies announcer Harry Kalas & former Tigers pitcher Mark Fidrych both pass away on the same day.

• But it was nice to see Brian Bosworth help save an Oklahoman’s life.

• Wedding bells have rung for a couple of tennis stars: Andy Roddick ties the knot with Brooklyn Decker, while Roger Federer marries his manager.

• Padres pitcher Heath Bell is p.o.’ed about ESPN’s overwhelming coverage of all things Yankees, Mets & Red Sox.

• That stinks: Dwight Howard has a passion for passing gas.

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• A California high school cheerleading coach was given her pink slip when she took off her slip - and everything else - for Playboy.

• ESPN’s expose on the WWE was more of a tapout than a body slam.

• Speaking of physical assault, a Brazilian soccer coach punches a ref in the middle of a game.

• How did the Chicago Bulls’ Ben Gordon burn his arm? Would you believe because his scarf caught on fire?

• When he’s not passing the ball, Dwight Howard loves to pass gas.

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There’s really no other way to put this that wouldn’t grab your attention, so I’ll just say it matter-of-factly: A high school cheerleading coach was fired after it was discovered she posed nude for Playboy.

WITH LEATHER uncovers the story from Sacramento’s CBS 13 of Carlie Christine, cheerleading coach of Casa Roble High School. Um, make that former cheerleading coach of Casa Roble High School, as school officials were recently tipped off to Carlie’s extracurricular activities as Playboy centerfold & Cyber Girl of the Week.

So, how did the officials learn about Christine’s Playboy posing? She didn’t use her real name, did she?

(More pics of Carlie’s work are after the jump.)

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• A very tough week for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Pitcher Nick Adenhart dies in a hit & run car accident caused by a drunk driver, just days after a fan dies from a post-game fight in an Angel Stadium stairwell.

(Left - Nick Adenhart; Right - Fight victim Brian Powers)

• Cheryl Miller wasn’t pleased that Scot Pollard was late for their NBA TV show, and she wasn’t afraid to use the airtime to air her grievances.

• ESPN reporter Shelley Smith takes a misstep at a Detroit bar during the Final Four.

• Fans fighting while their team’s championship banner is being raised, and booing while World Series rings are given out? Must be Philadelphia.

• A former Gonzaga women’s basketball star-turned-high school softball coach gets zagged for having sex with one of her 16-year-old players.

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When I was away at college, my parents had a Google News Alert out on my name, so they could keep track of me if I popped up in the local sports section (or the crime blotter). Carly Hinchman had better pray her parents don’t do the same, because the Virginia Tech cheerleader just tried out to be in Playboy, and stupidly gave her real name when talking to a local news station about it.

Playboy is scouting Blackburg for its “Girls of the ACC” issue, and the Hokie cheerleader (soon to be ex-cheerleader) tried out, along with four other young ladies. She told the Roanoke NBC affiliate that she hasn’t told her parents, which is a great way to keep it secret. Thanks for proving once again the inverse correlation between intelligence and eagerness to take your clothes off.

And yes, this is two Playboy posts in a row. Are you complaining?

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