Everyone who’s planning an NFL comeback this season please take a step forward. Um, not so fast, Michael Vick and Plaxico Burress. Our two chief NFL antagonists may be grabbing headlines regarding their plans for the 2009 season, but according to YAHOO SPORTS’ Jason Cole, NFL Commish Roger Goodell would probably prefer that they grab some pine.

Vick is scheduled to be released from confinement on July 20 — did you remember to buy him a card? — after serving 20 months for crimes against pooches. And while a reality show would be fun, what he really wants to do is play ball. Burress’ gun case, meanwhile, has been adjourned until September, and may not be heard until March, 2010. At least he’s staying in shape in the meantime. Read more…

• It’s finally here: Anna Rawson’s first TV commercial as a GoDaddy Girl.

• Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen are six months away from unleashing Superbaby onto our world.

• Count Brendan Haywood among those who aren’t pleased about Donte’ Stallworth’s light sentence. But Plaxico probably isn’t as judgmental.

• Wimbledon is worried about potentially massive match-fixing.

• Hard to believe it’s been 15 years since O.J.’s most memorable run.

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People are complex. They are not their stereotypes, and they are not only the bad things they do. Even the most habitual offenders of groupthink (usually stoners, hipsters, and, y’know, “thugs”) are, in nearly all instances, more than capable of a wide variety of views, emotions, and opinions.

Crazy like a fox, or crazy like a crazy person?

Associations do matter, though, especially when single issues define a person. Thus we had to shake our heads in amazement when we heard about Donte Stallworth’s off-season conditioning. As you’re no doubt aware by now, Stallworth is about to serve a 30-day jail sentence after his DUI conviction in the death of Mario Perez, a sentence some feel is inappropriate to convey the gravity of Stallworth’s crime. Even after the likely substantial suspension imposed by the NFL after his jail time, Stallworth still has the opportunity to put together an NFL career for a few more years, and it’s important for him to stay in shape in the meantime.

So as he awaited sentencing, he was still out there running hills with… Plaxico Burress? Oh, good lord, really?

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Plans for Plaxico Burress to remain a member of the New York Giants have been shot in the leg, as the team announced today they are releasing the troubled receiver.

(Plaxico’s world has really been turned upside down)

The NY DAILY NEWS has this statement from Giants GM Jerry Reese:

“I am an optimist, and I believe most situations can be worked out. We hung in there as long as we could in hopes that there could be a resolution to this situation other than the decision we made today to release Plaxico. It wasn’t to be, so now we have to move on.”

Let the Plaxico-picked-up-by-the-Bengals jokes commence! Then again, Burress in Cincinnati might not seem so far-fetched. Just ask Cedric Benson or Chris Henry.

• Tony Dungy calls it a coaching career by cutting cords with the Colts.

• After an early playoff exit, the New York Giants would consider bringing back Plaxico Burress.

• Was it really that cold in Charlotte & East Rutherford this weekend?

• Broncos hire a Patriots coordinator as their new head coach. And we know how well that’s worked out for the Browns & Notre Dame.

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It’s one thing to take the high road with a troubled player when things are going well. If you had asked any Giants fan while their team coasted to the NFC’s number 1 seed if they wished they had Plaxico Burress back, they would have laughed at you. “That bum? He’s a locker room cancer. The G-Men are a team, and one player’s not bigger than the team. Big Blue’s all about character.” But ask them about Burress after getting knocked out of the playoffs far too early, and they might whistle a different tune.

Going into Sunday, all you heard from the team was how they didn’t miss Burress, how he was a distraction, how they could win without him. Now that the Giants’ clear lack of a receiving threat has been exposed, there are rumblings from the front office that, barring legal troubles, they’d like the “locker room cancer” to return. So not only did the Giants lose the game yesterday, but they might lose the moral high ground, too.
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• The Longhorns help rustle up yet another BCS bust by the Buckeyes.

• We’re happy to share the sights of San Francisco with SbB Girl Wendy.

• Ex-Cub Lee Smith saves up hope that he’ll be called to the Hall of Fame.

• Speaking of the Baby Bears, will Sam Zell FINALLY sell?

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In light of the last few months, it’s easy to make fun of Plaxico Burress. Really, really easy. Ludicrously easy. But according to the ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION, one group will always see him as much more than Mr. “Plaxidental Shooting”: The Florida Gators.

That’s Louis Murphy, above, about 2 seconds before pointing up at his mother. Let me explain. He’s the leading receiver for Florida, who’s gearing up for Thursday’s title game against the Oklahoma Sooners. Up until this season (his senior year), he hadn’t accomplished much for coach Urban Meyer and company; his career totals in his first three years were 39 catches for 590 yards and six scores. Worse, he had spent time in Meyer’s doghouse for sundry minor discipline problems. Worse, after Murphy’s mother passed away on Valentine’s Day at age 47 of breast cancer, Murphy’s performance suffered greatly during spring practice. But the comfort that Murphy desperately needed came in the unlikely form of one Plaxico Burress: Read more…

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse for Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress, someone else files a lawsuit against the troubled star, and this one has nothing to do with shooting himself in the leg. In fact, we can now say, quite literally, that his life has become a car crash … because that’s the source of his most-recent angst.

(The offender back behind the wheel.)

According to the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL, 27-year-old Alise Smith filed a lawsuit against Burress in Broward (Fla.) Circuit Court alleging that a May accident between Burress and her vehicle left her with serious neck and back injuries. She’s suing for some $15,000 to cover medical bills, damage to her car and, unsurprisingly, lost wages. Read more…

• If Visanthe Shiancoe’s NFL career doesn’t pan out, there’s always the open invitation to join the adult film industry.

• Carmelo Anthony’s favorite kind of record - 33 in the 3rd.

• Vassily Ivanchuk could face a two-year ban for doping - not from the NHL, but from the World Chess Federation.

• Boys & girls playing basketball together? That’s too sinful for our schools!

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