Derek Jeter Officially Needs To Grow A Moustache

Being that some callers on New York sports radio are wondering why Derek Jeter wasn’t more involved in last night’s fight with the Blue Jays - he being the captain and all - we think the answer’s obvious. He’s not a fighting type; just look at him. Want to know how you could tell if Derek Jeter were a bench-clearing brawler?

Derek Jeter moustache

(Awww, yeah.)

As you can probably guess, that’s Mattingly’s ’stache. But Jeet, for real - make this happen.

You + Wedgie - Lunch Money = Canadian Mathlete

While we’re hardly traditionalists at SbB (we support, for example, the implementation of rocket-propelled grenades in baseball), we do have a certain reverence for the Olympics and all they stand for. While we don’t want them to go back to the all-nude affairs of ancient Greece (again, not traditionalists here), we do think that there’s been some rather unconscionable decisions recently about including new Olympic sports. Judo? Fine. Synchronized diving? Uh, we guess? But certainly there’s no way that the words “olympics” and “math” can be put together, right? Um, right?! …uh oh.

Special math olympics
(The Math Olympics sure are special.)

Yes, according to the WINDSOR STAR, those crazy northerners are holding Olympics for kids who are good with numbers. We can’t imagine they’re, ahem, handing out too many condoms at those. But at long last, Canada, have you no shame? Must you sully athletics with that extra “m” at the beginning? Read more…

Phelps Doesn’t Appreciate Your Photoshop Skills

UNI WATCH BLOG points us to the release yesterday of a new Speedo swimsuit which will be used by over 50 countries in the upcoming Bejing Olympics. One of the models for the body suit was Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps Speedo

The photo on the left is Phelps featured in a Speedo promotional piece for the suit (and published by USA TODAY). The photo on the right was at the actual unveiling ceremony.

Speedo claims that the suit has less “passive drag” than previous models. From the photo on the left, apparently that was achieved with Adobe CS 3.

Red Sox Nation Burns Rocket With Photoshop Fun

The BOSTON GLOBE asked their readers to draw some humor from Roger Clemens’ drug denials. As a result, Red Sox Nation pitched up some photoshop fun with the Rocket.

Some fans don’t totally believe Roger’s been very truthful about his past:

Roger Clemens Pinocchio

Such actions can put a damper on a possible movie career:

Roger Clemens George Mitchell Meet The Rocket

Or cut into endorsement deals:

Roger Clemens Coppertone ad

And even the TRENTONIAN gets in on the act:

Clemens Took It In The Butt Trentonian

Oh, wait. That one’s real. Don’t we feel like an ass.

Clemens & Pettitte Sticking Needles In Their Butts

ROGER AND ANDY - STICKING THE NEEDLE IN, PART DEUX: Jimmy Traina of SI’s HOT CLICKS scouts out one of the better photoshop efforts following the Mitch-Slap administered to Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte:

Roger Clemens Andy Pettitte