A Spectacular Mix Of Bad Taste And Sportswriting

In case you hadn’t been aware for whatever reason - nobody watching Nancy Grace in the house or anything - police recently found a woman who had been abducted as a little girl 18 years ago. Her name is Jaycee Dugard, and while in captivity, she was forced to give birth twice to two daughter who were also kept in isolated captivity. Suffice it to say that the 18 years she spent confined by suspected rapist/murderer Phillip Garrido have left deep, permanent scars on her life. Her family must be unbelievably overcome with joy to have her back, even as she deals with the nearly two decades of trauma on her life.

Jaycee Dugard
(A father finally reunited with his daughter. This calls for sports jokes!)

Fortunately, the ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER’s Mark Whicker - you’ll want to remember this name by the time you get to the end of the story, trust us - decided to appropriately honor Dugard’s return to the real world with a column today.

And by that, we mean he wrote a whimsical sports article about everything she missed called “Many odd things have happened in sports the past 18 years.” Yes, seriously. You’ll want to read on, because it only gets worse.

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