8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
Depending on who’s doing the talking, the advent of statistical analysis in sports like baseball has been either one of the greatest developments ever or one of the worst. Regardless of your stance on the matter or whether you think a computer wrote the book Moneyball (like Joe Morgan), the newfound love of numbers has helped people look at things like sports, business, and politics in a whole new light.
(Golf = sexy.)
So it was only a matter of time before the whitests and male-est of professionals - numbers crunchers - met up with the whitest and male-est of sports, golf, to look at a good walk spoiled in a whole new light. The results are actually pretty interesting.
Even if your wife is the paragon of perfect health, you ignore her wishes at your own peril. If she’s oh, diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, “no” or “sorry” simply isn’t an option–especially with limited opportunities to fulfill her wishes.
(This won’t do.)
So Phil Mickelson, in his second tournament back after his wife Amy’s diagnosis with breast cancer, is the overwhelming fan favorite to win the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black. It’s almost unfair what type of support he’s garnering; he’s already hugely popular in New York, and now sentiment will be overwhelming in light of his wife’s illness. And if he fails, he’s… well, he’d better not: Read more…
Woe upon anybody who turned on “NFL Live” on ESPN yesterday, as the Worldwide Leader had fantastic news for everybody: Tom Brady’s knee is doing great!
(Wheeeee yayyyy Tom Brady!)
This wasn’t particularly newsworthy, mind you; everyone knew Brady would be back for the start of the 2009 season. Then his surgeon and golf partner, Neal ElAttrache (that’s a fake name if I ever heard one; what’s Brady hiding???), gave his first post-surgery interview to the LOS ANGELES TIMES, and with quotes like these:
“With regard to his recovery of strength, I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” said ElAttrache, an orthopedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine at the Kerlan-Jobe Clinic in Los Angeles. “With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back.”
Said ElAttrache: “Let’s face it, guys that are athletes like him, they’re strung together different. By and large, they follow the same biologic rules as the rest of us. However, they’re able to do things with their neuromuscular control and their strength gains and how they respond to exercise a little bit differently.
…it was only a matter of time before ESPN pounced and showed that amateur Peter King what a real ball-washing looks like.
Speaking of comebacks, it’s time to welcome back another target of unbridled man-crushery: Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipović, the fearsome MMA fighter. He set the world on fire a few years ago, mainly via YouTube videos of him kicking people in the head, before an uninspiring 1-2 stint in UFC sent him back to fighting in Japan. But rest assured, I didn’t forget the kicking in the head:
And yes, $50 is awfully steep for one person to watch an event, but if you’re watching a pay-per-view by yourself, there’s something very wrong with you. Pay-per-views are the flimsy excuse you need to have a social event, one that often involves healthy amounts of imbibition. It’s probably not very hard to find a sports bar showing the event, after all. But if “drunk guys in Affliction shirts” isn’t your thing, no worries; 1) Giants pitcher Brian Wilsondoesn’t care for it either, and 2) just invite a half-dozen friends or so over and do it like that instead. But yes, six fights in one night is most certainly choice. Figure out a way to make it worth your while and make it happen.
And finally in more news of welcome returns, Phil Mickelson has apparently set a date for returning to the PGA Tour: June 11, for the St. Jude’s Classic in Memphis. Of course, the timing has everything to do with the U.S. Open the following week at Bethpage Black, right in Phil the Thrill’s haunt in New York.
Mickelson first thought surgery for his 37-year-old wife could happen as early as a few weeks since the announcement, but that has been pushed back for another month.
Her treatment and recovery will dictate whether he plays in the British Open, or how much he plays at all the rest of the summer. Mickelson already has won twice this year and is No. 5 in the FedEx Cup standings.
It’s both easy and tempting to say things like “Amy Mickelson is good reminder that life is more important than sports,” but that’s like saying “an apple is tastier than an aircraft carrier.” Well, yeah, but the two things don’t share the same useful metric. Of course life is important; nobody ever disputed that. But we’d be stunned if Phil’s return was spurred by anything but Amy telling him to get back on the course.
Proving she’s not a three-program robot (1: drive car fast, 2: make non-threatening remarks, 3: wear bikini), Danica Patrick ruffled some feathers recently by telling Dan Patrick (not the same person; not even related, as a matter of fact) that taking PEDs isn’t cheating if you’re not caught. Was that wrong? Should she not have done that?
Cheer up, Nike: there’s still a way to salvage your precious Lebron/Kobe puppet campaign!
Would you like to read about a blog duping a plainly moronic radio host into thinking they were going to interview John Daly? You would? Would you like to hear said interview too? You would?? Then you, my friend, are in quite a bit of luck:
Why was Sidney Crosby hiding from the media before Game 3 of the Stanley Cup playoffs? Because there’s more than one player on the Pens you MSM idiots ‘Cause he’s yella, that’s why!
EA Sports wants into the subscription business that has put Blizzard Entertainment into more money than they know what to do with. So they’re offering up their most popular title that is also easy to transport Web-ward (Tiger Woods PGA Tour) in a “multi-tiered subscription” model this fall.
(Gonna go out on a limb and guess you can’t unlock both players in this game)
This is, of course, code for “the first one’s always free”. You want a sand wedge? That’s a dollar. You want a red Nike shirt? That’s a dollar. You want to play more than three courses? That’s a dollar. You want Elin Nordegren? Why don’t you just give EA your AmEx Black and they’ll let you know when they’re done with it?
Instead of that game (which sounds an awful lot like an authentic golf simulation where you spent every dime you own to get better when you never will), why not consider another possible version of the game that would be authentic, fun, and not require all that nonsense?
• The Pepsi Center double-books a Nuggets-Lakers playoff game & WWE’s “Monday Night Raw” on the same night. Of course, Vince McMahon is going to have lots of fun with this Denver Debacle.
• Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger is hoping her boyfriend, Formula One star Lewis Hamilton, will soon race with her to the wedding altar.
PGA golfing superstar Phil Mickelson takes a lot of grief from sports fans and bloggers, and deservedly so (FIGJAM!), but the announcement that Mickelson is taking a leave of absence from the PGA to attend to his breast cancer-stricken wife Amy is no laughing matter.
Mickelson, a three-time Major winner (and boy does that still feel weird to say) is not sure when he will return to the Tour, but we assume Phil was relieved to hear that he wasn’t the one afflicted. Read more…
It’s been said that either Manny Ramirez is incredibly dumb, or incredibly good at playing dumb, and his response to his 50-game suspension for violating MLB’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program gives proponents of either theory plenty of fuel for the fire. On one hand, claiming that a doctor gave him medicine for a “personal problem” seems like a flimsy attempt to use ignorance to cover up cheating, especially since the drug in question (hCG) is primarily used as a fertility treatment for women.
But what the “personal problem” really was personal - like he was trying to get pregnant? Maybe he saw that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie “Junior” on a plane flight and thought that sounded like a great idea. I mean, come on: Manny’s so crazy, he doesn’t even know that men can’t conceive. That’s just Manny being Manny.
(The only thing inconceivable is Manny Ramirez’s story.)
Are you buying it? Me either. As the news spread throughout the baseball world, the most shocking aspect is just how not shocked anyone who wasn’t a Dodger fan was about it. His former teammates with the Boston Red Sox seemed to be more upset that they have to talk about Manny Ramirez again than anything else, with closer Jonathan Papelbon summing up most player’s thoughts:
“I just walked in the clubhouse today and found out about it. I haven’t really thought about it all. We’ve got more things to worry about on our club. Obviously, it’s a news story, blah, blah, blah. There’s so many more things we have to go get ready for. He’s not in our clubhouse anymore, so this is something that we’re not even worried about.”
So how did the Dodgers react on the field without their leader? In a word: shaky. Oh, it started out good, jumping out a 6-0 first inning lead on the dreadful Washington Nationals. But then it all fell apart, although this had nothing to do with Ramirez’s absence.
Blame this on the Dodgers’ increasingly leaky bullpen, which allowed nine runs in the seventh and eigth innings en route to an 11-9 Dodgers loss - which stopped the team’s record home winning streak to start the season at 13. You also couldn’t blame Ramirez’s replacement in left field, Juan Pierre, who went 2-for-4 but did make the inning-ending out in the eighth with the bases loaded.
Meanwhile, back to Ramirez’s former team again … actually, let’s look at both of them, since his original team (the Cleveland Indians) just happened to be visiting his most recent team (the Red Sox) on Thursday night. And while it might be tacky after the events of yesterday to says that Boston’s offense was on steroids, it’s safe to say that they were at least jacked up on a six-pack of Jolt colas.
The Red Sox matched a major league record by scoring 12 runs in the sixth inning while drubbing the Indians 13-3. At least we can be sure that Jason Bay isn’t juicing, unless he tests positive for having too much maple syrup in his blood.
And speaking of blowouts, let’s take a moment to congratulate the Atlanta Hawks for making it to the second round of the Eastern Conference playoffs as they collect their parting gifts and head to the exits. Sure, they are only down 2-0 to the Cleveland Cavaliers, and they are returning home.
But anyone who saw just a few minutes of Cleveland’s 105-85 thrashing of the Hawks knows that this series has all the makings of a sweep. Cleveland lead by as many as 36 before calling off the dogs, and LeBron James was just toying with defenders. And oh yeah, Joe Johnson sprained his ankle and might be out for the series. Have fun at the golf course, Atlanta!
The Players Championship teed off in Florida yesterday, and of course Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson share the lead. Actually, that’s a lie: the FLORIDA TIMES-UNION says that while Ben Craneleads after an opening-round 65, Woods dealt with a balky putter while shooting a 71 and Mickelson was all over the place while putting up a 73.
But if Tiger feels like he needs any help, he can call on Lee Trevino, as the DALLAS MORNING NEWS says that “Super Mex” has offered to teach him a power fade that will make sure that “he doesn’t lose any tournament.” At the least, he would like him to try an authentic salsa from Texas versus a competitor made in … NEW YORK CITY?!?
As usual, the Stanley Cup playoffs didn’t disappoint: the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES says that the Blackhawks relied on a late third-period goal to pull even and then scored early in OT to win 2-1 and level their series with Vancouver at 2-2.
And as hockey attempts to shine on the ice, it continues to stumble elsewhere, as the TORONTO GLOBE AND MAIL says that a group of investors trying to buy the failing Phoenix Coyotes and move them to Hamilton, Ontario are accusing the NHL and Commissioner Gary Bettman of “operating like an illegal cartel” in blocking the sale and move. Kind of like a more stupid version of the Mafia.
As the baseball world was reacting to Manny Ramirez’s suspension, the EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE says the Arizona Diamondbacks took the opportunity to relieve manager Bob Melvin of his duties while no one was looking. He’s being replaced by former major league catcher A.J. Hinch, because that’s apparently the only people who can manage the Diamondbacks.
The WASHINGTON POST says there was plenty of hot disciplinary action in the NBA, as the Magic’s Rafer Alston received a one-game suspension for his head-slap on the Celtics’ Eddie House, while the Lakers’ Derek Fisher received the game punishment for his cross-check of the Rockets’ Luis Scola. There were no suspensions given to Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest or any pieces of furniture.
It wasn’t just Didier Drogba who was upset with Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo for several calls that didn’t go Chelsea’s way in the 1-1 tie with Barcelona that knocked them out of the Champions League semifinals. EUROSPORT says the ref had to be “smuggled” out of the country under police escort.
A football player at Chico High in Texas has been arrested for assaulting a 13-year-old girl in what WFAA-TV is referring to as a “sex game” gone horribly wrong, involving freshman girls “sexting” the popular football players to gain popularity.
For years, whenever you’ve thought of what the prototypical golfer looks like, you’ve no doubt always envisioned some country club-living white guy with an alligator on his polo shirt, and some ugly pants. The reason for this is because the game of professional golf is generally populated by just that, with a few Hispanics and Asians thrown in for good measure. As for African-Americans, they’re pretty few and far between in the sport.
Go ahead. Try to think of any African-American golfer on the PGA Tour not named Tiger Woods. You can’t, can you? This is a problem the PGA has been trying to rectify since Tiger burst onto the scene, as they’ve looked for ways to integrate the game amongst black Americans. Something tells me the latest video game from Illfonic is not what they were looking for, though. Ladies and gents, meet Ghetto Golf.
Strike up a cheer for no-necked, chain-smoking, obese athletes everywhere. After a scintillating first few hours that saw Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson rocket into contention, Kenny Perry’s late lead evaporated with his game-winning putt coming to rest an inch away from the cup, leading to a three-man playoff between Perry, Chad Campbell, and Angel Cabrera. It ended up being probably the worst playoff in a major event in golf’s history.
(I guess you could say Cabrera smoked the competition! Oh, whatever, like you can make a better joke when you’re under deadline.)
The first playoff hole involved nobody coming close to making birdie; Cabrera’s tee shot went far into the woods, presumably so the Largentinian could sneak a few puffs away from the camera’s prying eyes. Meanwhile, Perry’s approach shot would have been better if he had just thrown his golf ball, and Chad Campbell’s was even worse. Campbell had a long putt to save par; he failed, disappointing the dozens of fans who had ever heard of him.
That left Cabrera and Perry on the second playoff hole, Hole #10. Perry stayed erratic, including sending a chip shot about 30 feet past the cup when he needed to get up and down to save par. Cabrera’s aim was truer; he two-putted for the win, and Perry’s bid to be the oldest major champion in PGA history was sunk.
Cabrera is an unlikely champion for several reasons. Read more…
