Look, many of history’s major agreements have come to fruition as the main participants were bathing. Winston Churchill convincing FDR to enact the lend-lease program (bathtub); the Missouri Compromise (steam room); signing of the Declaration of Independence (Founding Fathers nakedly cavorting in local hot spring). Now comes news that the seeds for Ron Artest’s signing with the Lakers were sewn last year as Artest joined Kobe Bryant in the shower.
It happened in 2008, following the Lakers’ Game 6 loss to the Celtics that decided the NBA Championship. Artest, who was then employed by the Sacramento Kings, had attended the game, and afterwards burst into Phil Jackson’s office — which was off limits — to tell the coach he thought he would be a good fit for his team. Then Artest made his way to the adjoining shower area, where Kobe was lathering up, and walked right in to again present his plan. Read more…
After flirting with the idea of only coaching home games (Mitch Kupchak: “Not bloody likely!”), then mulling retirement, Phil Jackson announced today that he’s returning as coach of the Lakers, full time. Apparently finished with a battery of medical tests more thorough than the ones administered to Linda Blair in “The Exorcist,” Phil The Departed is now Phil Of The Future.
This has to come as good news to Ron Artest, who won’t have to worry about explaining his special brand of crazy to a brand new coach. And to Lakers fans, who just watched Jackson win his 10th NBA title. Jackson has had a number of health problems, including a leg ailment, hip replacements and an angioplasty procedure in 2003 to open a clogged artery in his heart. But he wants one more ring: As they said in “Spinal Tap,” this goes to 11. Read more…
L.A. is all abuzz today about the prospect of Phil Jackson only coaching home games for the Lakers next season. While we haven’t got official word on who will get the gig, if you follow the Lakers like I do, you know there are some obvious candidates for the road game position.
(Handicapping - sorry Larry - some of the big names vying For Phil Jax’s Job)
As a public service, I will provide you those likely “Phil-Ins” after the jump. Read more…
In the wake of his Lakers’ championship and his own 10th NBA title, Phil Jackson gave an interview with Mychal Thompson and John Ireland with ESPN 710 today. Thompson decided to float an idea to Jackson that in light of his physical struggles near the end of the season, Jackson should skip the travel and only coach home games. One problem: the Lakers beat Thompson to the punch.
(Might this actually be true, finally?)
In response to Thompson’s question, Jackson responded that the Lakers had actually already greenlit the idea for Phil’s sake.
Using his Zen Buddhist powers to sense the great unrest coursing through the veins of Iranian protesters, Phil Jackson makes an unannounced, impromptu visit to Tehran to the delight of millions. All election problems are expected to be resolved within the hour, especially with Special Mediator/shooting guard Kobe Bryant on the case.
Now that the Lakers have won the NBA championship and the basketball season is over, it’s time for everybody to start wondering what’s going to happen next with the latest world champs. Are they good enough to repeat? Will they be able to keep Lamar Odom and Trevor Ariza? Will Adam Morrison be allowed to touch the basketball next season?
The biggest question surrounding the Lakers, however, is the future of their head coach Phil Jackson. The Zenmaster just won the 10th NBA title of his 19-year career, and if there was ever a moment for the 63-year old coach to ride his motorcycle off into the sunset, this would probably be it (of course, according to some, Phil hasn’t been coaching the Lakers for a while now). Well, Jackson hasn’t given any indication of what his plans are, but some are already speculating that he is going to retire and that Mike Krzyzewski is waiting in the wings.
(”Okay, Kobe, on the inbounds pass, you… you’re not listening, are you? Fine. You go to the arcade and punch a hobo. I’ll get some lobsters and attach them to my nipples. Escalator hedgehog banana. Good talk. I want to quit.”)
One note tucked into the article, though, was something that most NBA fans had probably begun to suspect as the “Kobe Bryant pretends to be the coach” scenes became more prevalent over the course of the playoffs (though ‘Zo broke it first): Phil Jackson’s just on cruise control. To that, Barkley says Phil’s very, very, very gone… maybe:
The Magic were a Courtney Lee layup and a Derek Fisher miss away from being up 3-1 and having the Lakers on the ropes going into Game 5 last night, but it wasn’t to be. Then, sensing that Orlando was still reeling from giving away Game 4, the Lakers seized the momentum and left absolutely no doubt as to who the better team was in a 99-86 series-clincher at Pyramid Scheme Arena. The Lakers used a 16-0 run in the second quarter to take control, and the Magic never got closer than five after that.
(Ladies and gentlemen, the saddest NBA champion ever.)
Kobe finally got his title without Shaq, though it’s not like he did this thing alone (but averaging 32, 6, and 7 in the Finals is a pretty impressive line). The Lakers were a mediocre team until Memphis GM Chris Wallace decided to give them Pau Gasol, and the continued development of youngsters like Andrew Bynum and Trevor Ariza helped push the team to another level. Add in the rejuvenation of candy addict Lamar Odom and you have all the ingredients for a championship run.
As for the Magic, they certainly have a lot of things to be proud of, but also face a lot of uncertainty going forward. Will they find room for Hedo Turkoglu? What are they going to do with Rafer Alston? Will Dwight Howard grow into his true potential? Will Stan Van Gundy’s insane act wear thin? Was this their only window of opportunity? If Cleveland gets LeBron some help and KG comes back healthy for the Celtics, Orlando might find getting back to the Finals an impossible task in the near future.
The trophy presentation had plenty of unintentional comedy, including Jackson’s goofy “X” hat that his kids made for him,Morrison’s puzzled look as he decided whether or not he should act like he deserved a ring, and a hilariously awkward interview with Jerry Buss‘ kid, whose public speaking skills came off like a cross between your average spelling bee champion and Mark Madsen. David Stern’s backhanded obligatory compliment to the Magic for being a “very worthy Eastern Conference champion” was nice too. All in all, it wasn’t “anything is possible!” but still a very solid postgame ceremony.
Of course, the fine citizens of Los Angeles are always looking for a flimsy excuse to throw a garbage can through a window, and the “celebration” around the city extended well into the wee hours of the morning. As I’m sure you already know, Brooks was on hand outside the Staples Center and noted that the LAPD was clearly overwhelmed in trying to keep up with what was going down on the streets.
(Yeah, this is probably enough officers, right?)
Fortunately, Brooks was able to get some good shots of the good clean fun outside of Staples before things went south. Although CBS 2 says that, all things considered, this year’s riots were not on par with previous years, such as 2000 when the Lakers won the series in L.A. Still, the LAPD’s attempts to keep revelers out of downtown altogether was a massive failure, and the department should be counting its lucky stars that major issues were the exception and not the norm.
(Kobe jersey with no undershirt and jeans = not a good look for a white guy)
(”The looters went that way!”)
The LA TIMES says that some folks went into looting mode, breaking windows at a shoe store and cleaning out a convenience store. Because what better way to celebrate your team’s NBA title than with some stolen beef jerky and a chunk of glass in your thigh?
And what makes all of these people even bigger geniuses is the fact that their city and state are both completely out of money, so it’s entirely reasonable to destroy a bunch of stuff that public funds will have to replace. Look, I’ve been excited, but I can’t imagine ever feeling the urge to carry a metal barrier through the streets and ram it into things indiscriminately, like these folks who were photographed by ABC 7 in L.A.:
I’m sure we could fill page after page with entertaining photos of idiot Laker fans, but other things are happening in the world of sports, so let’s get to the links:
• While most sports fans were transfixed on the NBA Finals, Cliff Lee took a no-hitter into the eighth inning against the Cardinals in the night game on ESPN, but Shin-Soo Choo made a less-than-stellar attempt at catching Yadier Molina’s deep fly into the right field corner, and the no-hitter was no more. Lee didn’t exactly throw Choo under the bus afterward, but it also seemed like he wasn’t really pleased with the effort. The Indians won 3-0, and Lee gave up two more hits.
• The SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS says that 17-year-old baseball phenom Bryce Parker is going to skip his last two years of high school, get his GED, and play community college baseball in Las Vegas in preparation for the 2010 MLB Draft. If you think Stephen Strasburg’s going to command a boatload of money, just wait until this kid gets drafted. He’s already bombed multiple 450-foot-plus shots in a home run derby in Tampa.
• Your 2009 LPGA Championship winner is Anna Nordqvist of Sweden via Arizona State. See if you can pick her out of this photo:
I know. It’s a tough one.
• Oh, yeah, now you try and trade for Shaq, Cleveland. Way to think of that about four months too late. Perhaps it was the steep asking price of Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic that made them balk the first time around.
• How bad have the Colorado Rockies been this year? After a 7-1 win over Seattle yesterday, they’ve now won 11 games in a row, but still are a game under .500 and 10-1/2 games out of first place. Still, a nice run for the Rocks, who haven’t won this many consecutive games since September of 2007, when they won like 49 out of their last 50 on the way to the World Series. More good news for the Rockies: catcher Yorvit Torrealba’s son was returned after being kidnapped for ransom in Venezuela, and he spoke about the ordeal for the first time yesterday.
• Phil Ivey is a sick human being. He won his second World Series of Poker bracelet in a little over a week with a victory in a half Omaha/half Stud high-low event on Saturday. He was simultaneously playing a different pot-limit Omaha event in another part of the room, and fit in enough hands there to nearly make that final table. And he somehow found more time to win over $100,000 online. While the $400,000+ in prize money he has won for his two bracelets this year is nice, rumor has it that he’s won millions more in bracelet wagers with his friends and high-stakes regulars at the Bellagio. At 33, Ivey already has seven bracelets and needs just four more to equal the record held by Phil Hellmuth, Johnny Chan, and Doyle Brunson.
• You know how on WWE they always have someone get “hurt” and then carted off and dramatically loaded on an ambulance like there’s some sort of actual injury? Well, that happened to Japanese superstar Mitsuharu Misawa on Saturday night. Except it wasn’t fake. He had a heart attack during a match in Hiroshima and died at the age of 46. Misawa got his start as a character called “Tiger Mask” and was the biggest star in Japanese wrestling, reportedly on par with Hulk Hogan in the U.S. The BALTIMORE SUN has a short tribute. Here’s some footage of Misawa going at it a few years back with Samoa Joe:
