Three weeks ago Michael Phelps appeared on Regis & Kelly to do the only thing he does these days, flog dishwashers and motor oil.

(Should we also believe Phelps doesn’t know Paparazzi’s  supposed (im)plant?)

During the interview, Phelps said that the paparazzi had recently planted a monster-boobed Asian woman next to him at the airport because she looked like his Asian topless model girlfriend, Caz Pal.

(Ladies: Wanna attract socially-crippled Olympians? Back tattoo is the ticket!)

But while describing the scenario, Phelps told Kelly Ripa that he didn’t have a girlfriend. In other words, he’d split from Pal.

All I can say is I’m glad polygraph isn’t part of Olympic testing procedures. Read more…