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Chris Littman of THE SPORTING BLOG has this DVD-only Sacha Cohen Bruno bit that involves Pete Rose.
The piece is an interview with Rose, but because the furniture for the setting didn’t arrive in time, Rose has to “sit on the Mexicans.”
More on the bit and video (NSFW) after the jump. Read more…
Only notables from the Vladimir Klitschko-Chris Arreola fight here in L.A. last night:
A (very) sad sack Arreola cried in the ring after a bloody beatdown from Klitschko.
(Pondering if she double-swiped his card on purpose)
While a ringside Pete Rose was to be commended for his decision to double-bag, which brought out the best of the Twitterazzi. Read more…
• Florida Panthers exec Uri Man shows what kind of man he his by hitting on Fox News anchor Ainsley Earhardt during an on-air interview.
• Bud Selig softening on Pete Rose Hall of Fame ban? Don’t bet on it.
• Ladies & gentlemen, your 2009-10 Sacramento Kings Dance Team!
• And the Jeremy Mayfield meth mess goes on: NASCAR says they have witnesses that saw him do the drug.
• Just because “Zorn” rhymes with “porn”, that doesn’t mean the Redskins coach has ever wanted to seen any.
If Vegas actually had a betting line on Pete Rose making it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, it would have probably been taken off the board for “suspicious activity” after the events of the last few days. The odds improved significantly when Henry Aaron - a close friend of Commissioner Bud Selig - mentioned to reporters that he’d like to see Rose in the Hall of Fame, leading to a report by the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS that Selig was “seriously considering” lifting Rose’s lifetime ban.
But if ESPN is correct, betting on seeing Rose anywhere in Cooperstown other than selling autographs at a card table might be a sucker bet. Their sources are saying that Selig is not considering reinstating Rose, leaving him to be happy with his place in the Soup Bowl Haircut Hall of Fame (alongside sartorial luminaries as Moe Howard, Chairman Mao and Jim Carrey from “Dumb and Dumber”).
Personally, I could care less one way or the other - at this point, the only way Rose actually makes it into the Hall of Fame is through the Veterans Committee, and they are chock full of grumpy old men who would keep people out of the Hall of Fame for not wearing suits and hats on their train rides during road trips, much less betting on baseball. The only person I feel sorry for is Ray Fosse, as he has to deal with a new round of awkward questions about Rose turning him into a tackling dummy and ruining his career.
All of which Rose finds pretty funny, I guess:
And speaking of “suspicious activity,” I guess you can go ahead and add The Big Security Threat to Shaquille O’Neal’s list of monikers. While appearing on “The Mike Wise Show” a few days ago to promote his stint tonight on WWE Raw, he asked the hosts if they thought he could get into the White House and meet President Barack Obama if he dropped in unannounced. DC SPORTS BOG has the answer, and it’s a resounding “No.”
Shaq actually tried it yesterday, as part of a bet (1,000 push-ups) with one of his handlers. While the guys at the front gate were “nice,” they weren’t going to let Shaq act like this is a Tonight Show episode from 1982, and he’s Bob Hope interrupting an interview between Johnny Carson and an 82-year-old shoe collector to do a walk-through on the way to his latest special. Between the economy, the Middle East and studying the White Sox roster to find Walt Weiss, President Obama might have better things to do.
As far as Raw is Shaq went: he hung out with a leprechaun:
…and then kissed a sweaty guy prone to bouts of irrational anger:
So yeah, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t want him hanging around the Oval Office.
Finally, Jim Bunning might be a Hall of Fame pitcher, but it turns out that the Republican Party has no problem pulling him early and telling him to hit the showers. The WASHINGTON POST says that the Senator from Kentucky is bowing to pressure within his own party and will not run for re-election in 2010, a political fall from grace that would have been almost unthinkable a few years ago.
Of course, it turns out that openly discussing when a Supreme Court Justice with “the bad cancer” is going to die isn’t the savviest political move. And his “lousy” fundraising so far for the race - he only $376,000 in his war chest - isn’t helping matters either. Or the persistent rumors that he’s dealing with Alzheimer’s-related dementia - you know, the “bad dementia.” All of which adds up to his seat being widely considered as the most vulnerable in the 2010 elections, making him a problem the Republicans couldn’t ignore any longer.
So what happens to the 77-year-old Bunning? Perhaps a seat on the Veterans Committee - or at least a table at a card show next to Pete Rose.
Other sports news that happened while you were accidentally shooting three people with your brand-new Taser gun.
• T.O.’s Twitter-based lobbying must have worked, as Michael Vick has been reinstated into the NFL - if any team wants him.
• O.J. Simpson is having a swell time in prison - except that he thinks his cellmate is ready to kill him.
• While the real Canadian Open gets washed out, Canadian soldiers hold their own golf tournament in sunny Afghanistan.
• Hank Aaron wants steroid “cheaters” out of the Hall of Fame, but wants Pete Rose in.
• Michael Strahan’s new Fox sitcom looks terrific - terrifically bad.
You know, we could just make Hank Aaron our baseball commissioner, eliminate the middle man and save ourselves a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. For someone who’s been so reticent for the past few … well, his entire life, Aaron sure is surprising us this week with his high profile. A day after he came out squarely against steroid “cheaters” getting into the Hall of Fame, now he’s lobbying commissioner Bud Selig to reinstate Pete Rose.
And Aaron isn’t just speaking for himself. Two of his fellow members of the Hall of Fame Board of Directors, Joe (Silver Tongue) Morgan and Frank Robinson, have also come out in favor of lifting Rose’s lifetime ban. But neither, I would imagine, carry anywhere near Aaron’s weight with Selig. Read more…
When SbB held its first 30-day moratorium poll this past week, I was somewhat disappointed that there could be only one winner. And while the actual choice (who shall not be named) was fine enough, it meant that we were still going to have to talk about what Terrell Owens is doing.
And that, today, is apparently suggesting that Roger Goodell go spend some time in prison so that he knows what Michael Vick has been through. This in response to the idea floating around that Goodell plans to suspend Vick for four games as a condition for returning to the league. Ray Ratto thinks T.O. might have some ulterior motives, but that he appears to be genuine in his support for Vick. Now, about the suspension…well, I can’t put it nearly as eloquently as T.O. can (via FANHOUSE):
“I don’t think it’s really fair for him to be suspended four more games. That’s almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground.”
Well said, sir.
He’s also using Twitter to try and round up support for Vick, hoping that a groundswell of public sentiment will sway Goodell. I mean, it’s just like that whole thing over in Iran.
Oddly, T.O. has a bit of a point. Vick’s livelihood was taken away while he was in prison, so why would Goodell feel the need to tack on a token suspension that is the same length as one for a first violation of the league’s drug policy? I mean, if he really considered the prison time as separate from the league’s punishment, then you would think the suspension would be harsher, like a year or something. Otherwise, isn’t being out of the league for two years and going bankrupt serving the same purpose? I don’t think Goodell has to give him four games off to prove that the NFL doesn’t approve of dogfighters. I think that’s pretty well understood, considering you get in trouble for wearing your socks wrong in that league.
Don’t be fooled by that 5-0 win by Mexico over the U.S. in the CONCACAF Gold Cup final yesterday at Giants Stadium. The Americans have been playing this entire tournament with a second-tier squad made up mostly of players with little international experience. The Mexicans, meanwhile, put a much better team out on the field, as was shown by their dominance throughout the tournament. And, while it was sad to see the U.S. team fall apart, the way Mexico dismantled our guys in the second half was quite a thing to watch (the game was scoreless at halftime). Get ready for goooooooooooools-a-plenty:
The U.S. was somewhat fortunate to advance this far, struggling to a tie with powerhouse Haiti and needing extra time to beat Panama. So a loss was to be expected, though the magnitude was larger than anyone thought. It’s the worst loss for the U.S. since 1985. Perhaps it was for the best that it was only on in English on the tiny Fox Soccer Channel.
If anything, this was a moral boost for the Mexicans going into the huge showdown on August 12th between the two countries in World Cup qualifying in Mexico City. None of the players the U.S. used yesterday are likely to play in that game, while a couple of Mexico’s players will probably see action. But I can’t imagine that this game is really going to have much impact on the qualifier. The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS’ Filip Bondy seems to think that the credibility the U.S. earned in games against Spain and Brazil is diminished by this result, but anyone who follows the sport closely (ie. everyone in the world besides Americans) knows that the U.S. lineup was a shell of the team that made waves in South Africa.
The NEW YORK TIMES seems to have grasped this, and notes that all of the goodwill Mexico earned yesterday could be lost if they can’t beat the Americans in August. The U.S. is 0-22-1 all-time in Mexico, but a win by the Americans would be devastating to the hosts, who are fourth in the qualifying group (only the top three automatically make the World Cup). The U.S. is currently in second place behind Costa Rica.
• The Ravens were stunned by Derrick Mason’s retirement, so they went out and signed Drew Bennett to replace him. Bennett lasted all of two days before deciding to retire yesterday. You just aren’t meant to have wide receivers, Baltimore.
• Wait, who’s in first place in the NL Central? Oh yeah, it’s the team the Phillies are going to sweep in the first round in October.
• Keith Olbermann says that Sparky Anderson and Pete Rose spoke for the first time in 20 years on Saturday in Cooperstown. Rose shows up every year to sign memorabilia on HOF weekend.
• Ladbrokes is offering 100-1 odds that one of Roger Federer’s twin daughters will win Wimbledon by the age of 25. They’re five days old.
• Dinara Safina: Really good at winning tournaments nobody cares about.
• Lou Holtz took a Notre Dame alumni team over to Japan, where he coached them to a 19-3 win over the Japanese national team. No word on whether or not “Dr. Lou” made an appearance on Japanese television.
• MENTAL FLOSS challenges you to pick which hat 14 Hall of Famers wore to their induction.
• Dwyane Wade is tweeting to Lamar Odom, trying to coax him down to Miami. What he doesn’t seem to realize is that a bag of Jolly Ranchers will do the trick.
• A cricket player was struck by lightning in Brooklyn yesterday afternoon during a match. He’s listed in serious condition. The ghost of Gil Hodges has been brought in for questioning.
• Massive rivals AC Milan and Inter Milan met yesterday in, of all places, Gillette Stadium in Foxboro. In other news, the Giants and Jets will play each other this year in Reykjavik.
• French president Nicolas Sarkozy can’t stand the heat. Literally. He collapsed while jogging yesterday in Paris, but he’s going to be just fine. Which means we can run this picture of his wife without any guilt:
When you give someone $25 million to build golf resorts, you might be a bit miffed when they use your dough to host parties with porn stars. And for an even bigger slap in the face, they don’t even invite you.
But that’s just what 19 current and former NHL players are alleging against golf course developer Ken Jowdy. The hockey players are suing Jowdy to get back the $25 million they invested in two luxury golf resorts in Mexico that have yet to be built, plus $15 million more in additional damages. The lawsuits claim that Jowdy put their putting money towards prostitutes for “lavish parties”. And check out out who was on the invite list.
Why do we continue to give college basketball a pass on “March Madness” when the Final Four takes place during April? Sure, you’re sitting there and thinking, “So only 61 of the 64 games happen in the right month? So?” It’s the principle of it all, damn it! I can’t make a PG movie that turns R-rated in the last 5 minutes. It’d be like that one Mandy Moore movie A Walk to Remember, where (SPOILER ALERT!) she dies at the end, except in this version it’s by getting her head ripped off by naked zombies. Actually, get Hollywood on the phone; that idea sounds like a winner.
But we digress. Even people in the deepest of comas know that today is just the first day of a week in which worker productivity plummets and everyone, for at least a couple days, is a college basketball fan. Today is reserved for staring at a bracket, cursing the fact that the talking heads on ESPN like the same upsets you do (making them both popular and wrong, which completely disqualifies them as keys to winning your pool). Lots of office printers being tied up today. UPSET PROTIP: Think about American in the Elite 8. You’ll be happy you did. High fives all around!
Technically, yes, the rest of the sports world doesn’t stand still, and there’s plenty of things to talk about away from the parquet. We’re happy to report that your national pride has been granted an extension of legitimacy, as the USA defeated the Nether Region Netherlands, 9-3. Up next is either Venezuela or Puerto Rico, depending on who loses between the two teams tonight.
On the other side of the WBC bracket or however they set this thing up, Japan and Korea have jumped out to strong positions, while Mexico and Cuba fight to avoid elimination tonight. Quick question: why is the Mexico-Cuba game being played, essentially, in the middle of the night? And we get that this is a “world” classic and this time makes it possible for the rest of the world to watch, but 95-99% of the people who actually give a single crap about this game live in Mexico and Cuba (not a slight at those two countries, by the way; you could substitute any two teams in there, and the fact remains the same), and you’re essentially playing the game while they sleep. Wouldn’t almost anything be better than a start time that’s still late (8 pm) in San Diego, where the game is being held.
And speaking of situations in need of repair, can we talk about Jay Cutler and Denver? Talks have gone swimmingly after that trade kerfuffle from earlier, and Cutler is eager to get started on the 2009 season and develop a positive relationship with his new coach. LOL JUST KIDDING I AM LYING BADLY. Cutler has now left the city of Denver and demanded a trade, according to the DENVER POST.
(In this case, “thumbs up” means “I hate you.”)
And perhaps it’s just us, but like the Denver Post’s Mike Klis, we get the notion that Bill Belichick is probably a bigger factor in this mess than it would initially appear. Here’s how Klis’ version of the situation basically went down.
Josh McDaniels: I’m the coach at Denver now! Isn’t this great, Bill?
Belicheck: Call me Mr. Belichick, you little sh*t. How are you doing at quarterback? You want Cassel?
JM: Not particularly. We have Cutler.
BB: Cassel’s better. We can get a 3-way trade done. You want Cassel.
JM: Um, that’d be kinda cool, but we have Cutler.
BB: Oh. Huh. Weird.
NFL: Cassel has been traded to Kansas City for basically nothing.
BOSTON GLOBE: Denver was talking about trading Cutler for Cassel.
Jay Cutler: What the hell. Screw you. I’m leaving.
JM: Say, Mr. Belichick? Now I have neither Cassel nor Cutler.
BB: NYEAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I always liked Pioli better!
JM: I hate you, Mr. Belichick.
Some more links to peruse while you’re still thinking, “American? They face Villanova in Philly in Round 1! That’s stupid!” Stupid like a fox!
(Neat?)
The scene plays out nearly everywhere: A man in his 50s or 60s tries to ward off the cold, unrelenting grasp of age by doing everything he can to hang onto to those last few remaining hairs on his head. Sometimes, that means the hilarious comb-over. Other times, it’s the toupee that gets the call. Still others resort to that creepy spray-on hair. Pete Rose, meanwhile, has gone an entirely different route: Paying a high-priced stylist to manage the few hairs he has left.
From the LA TIMES comes an amusing first-hand anecdote of one of the more unique celebrity sightings in recent memory: Pete Rose at AMP Salon at the Palms. The salon, owned and operated by celebrity stylist Michael Boychuck, is a hub for celebrities in Vegas. Of course, most of the celebrities that get their hair done there actually have hair on their heads!
