You think that baseball umpires have it easy? Talk to Kerwin Danley. Actually, don’t talk to him today - he’s probably nursing one heck of a headache. Unlike me this morning, it was not as the result of a night of heavy drinking, but from a baseball bat to the back of the head. The DALLAS MORNING NEWS says that Danley was whacked by Hank Blaylock’s broken bat while working the Rangers vs. Blue Jays game, and had to go to the hospital with a possible concussion.

Please ignore the Zapruder film quality (get some video conversion software, people) and prepare to wince at footage of the incident:

Unfortunately for Danley, winding up in the hospital is getting to be a regular occurrence for him. You might remember last year when he took a 96 mph fastball to the jaw courtesy of Brad Penny.

If I were Danley, I’d avoid any home plate assignments for the rest of my career if possible. Or I’d only work from a perch about ten rows in back of home, or wearing more padding than The Michelin Man.

But also: THE KILLER BATS ARE BACK!  I thought we stopped the maple bats’ raping and pillaging of the baseball world last season? Actually, I don’t know if that was a maple bat or not, but why not start the overly-heated, panicked reaction now?

Meanwhile, you might have missed this Washington Nationals bit of news because, well, they are the Nationals, but sluggers Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman were forced to wear jerseys that said “Natinals” during a game last Friday. Which, as you can imagine, was a bit of an embarrassment … for Majestic Apparel, the company that makes all uniforms for MLB. (I can’t imagine the uniform gaffe caused Dunn or Zimmerman to lose their “Natinals Pride”.)

So MLB.COM says that Majestic has apologized for the mistake. They didn’t give an explanation for the error, but we can assume it’s because it was a Nationals jersey and no one cared. Apparently the Nationals’ clubhouse attendants didn’t care, since they just checked to make sure the names were spelled right on the back of the jerseys and didn’t look at the front when they opened the boxes before Opening Day. Honestly, you don’t wash those once to make it less itchy?

Finally, you have to wonder about La Salle University’s basketball recruiting process. After all, top recruit Karon Burton was supposed to be known for his speed, which led him to be named Delware County, PA’s Player of the Year this past season. But if that’s the case, how in the world did he, as the DELAWARE COUNTY DAILY TIMES says, get caught by a police officer when trying to flee on foot as cops were chasing him as part of a massive drug bust? Either someone’s scouting department sucks, or there’s a cop who should be receiving a recruiting visit.

But I’m guessing that Burton won’t be getting that scholarship anyway. He was one of 11 people arrested on Monday as part of a two-hour undercover drug sting. Police say Burton ran from a car that had tried to purchase heroin from a cop posing as a dealer, and he tried to ditch bags of pot before being chased down by the cops. But that’s better than the woman who was also arrested in the sting trying to buy heroin and cocaine - with her young daughter in the car seat in back.

• Another day, another case of a South American soccer match turning into a giant brawl. SKY NEWS says this one in Argentina started after the captain of Guarani Antonio Franco (who I think was dictator of Argentina at one time) bumped into the ref. Here’s the wackiness that ensued:
  

• What’s worse than breaking someone’s ankle with a vicious soccer tackle? The BBC has an answer: how about stamping on the player’s shattered leg as he lays writhing on the ground?
• The CHARLESTON DAILY MAIL says Marshall football player Courtney Edmonson made a basic mistake that many youngsters make when they drink: don’t carry a big bottle of Bacardi Razz Rum around campus.
• Ole Miss DT Jerrell Powe told police that “he couldn’t read“ when they came over to his place about a noise complaint. The CLARION LEDGER says that Rebels head coach Houston Nutt is not pleased, especially since he’s had a history of eligibility issues with the NCAA.
• Manny Pacquiao threw out the first pitch in San Francisco at the Giants’ home game against San Diego. The final verdict: more of a light jab than a knockout punch. Check it out for yourself (but don’t tell me you don’t want one of those T-shirts):
  

• Even NASCAR is getting into the “helping the environment” business, with USA TODAY saying that for the first time, they will be using a hybrid as a pace car during the Coca-Cola 600 over Memorial Day weekend. This is what happens when the pinko leftists take over, people.
• Congratulations, Blue Jackets fans: you got to see the first home playoff game in team history last night, as Columbus hosted Detroit. The bad news: THE HOCKEY NEWS reports that the Red Wings scored about one minute in and never looked back, coasting to a 4-1 win and a 3-0 series lead. But hey, you can show up tomorrow and be there to see the Blue Jackets get swept for the first time in franchise playoff history.
• The PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER has the latest college basketball star to declare for the NBA Draft: Villanova’s Scottie Reynolds, who I believe has been at the school for 27 years.
• The LOS ANGELES TIMES says that there’s an apparent winner in the USC Trojans’ QB derby, as Pete Carroll has named sophmore Aaron Corp the starter for the spring game and through fall camp. I wonder where Mitch Mustain will transfer to next?
• Finally, let’s give one last finger wag for Dikeme Mutombo, who the HOUSTON CHRONICLE says suffered a knee injury in the Rockets’ 107-103 loss to the Trail Blazers that Mutombo says is career-ending. And whom was he battling with when his knee exploded? Of course it was Greg Oden - he’s now made knee injuries viral. But let’s honor the defensive beast and great humanitarian by sexing someone tonight.

The meltdown of the American newspaper industry is in full effect. The past six weeks have seen the closures of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and the Rocky Mountain News, marking two of the largest newspaper closures in recent memory. And yesterday came news that might be a sign of disaster for one of the nation’s leading newspapers: the SAN FRANCISCO BUSINESS TIMES reports that roughly 120 employees of the San Francisco Chronicle have accepted voluntary buyouts as the paper struggles to avoid sale or shutdown.

According to a list from the SAN FRANCISCO PENINSULA PRESS CLUB, those leaving the paper include NFL writer Nancy Gay, college sports writer Jake Curtis, deputy sports editor Larry Yant and a host of other writers, editors and photographers. This should be taken as a giant red flag if these people are getting out now, especially someone as respected as Gay; trust me, people just don’t leave NFL reporting positions at major newspapers unless something is going terribly, horribly wrong.

But even the voluntary exits might not be enough - parent company Hearst Corporation (which also owns the now-online only Post-Intelligencer) has said that it needed to cut “at least” 150 jobs to avoid a shutdown or sale, with the paper currently bleeding money at a rate of $1 million a week. And with the chances of a corporation wanting to buy a failing newspaper next to zero in this climate, it seems as though the only two options are to slash the staff to ribbons or close shop.

As bad as the first option sounds, the alternative is even more daunting. Especially when you consider that the San Jose Mercury News recently announced that it was essentially abandoning the San Francisco market by stopping all weekday deliveries to the city.  Which leaves a very real possibility that the nation’s 12th-largest metropolitan area could be without a major daily newspaper (the San Francisco Examiner, currently having been reduced to a free handout resembling The Pennysaver, doesn’t count).

It seems like Mark Cuban might be prescient when he blogged about the slow death of the newspaper sports section; let’s hope that his idea of teams and leagues banding together to provide beat reporters to cover the same teams and leagues doesn’t pan out, but if the San Francisco Chronicle can fold, is any idea that outlandish?

And don’t think that it will just stop with the Chronicle: the paper was only sixth in TIME’s recent list of “The 10 Most Endangered Newspapers in America”. Ahead of it on the list are papers such as the Boston Globe, Minneapolis Star-Tribune and the Miami Herald. That’s a lot of major sports teams that are suddenly going to be underserviced by local media, if at all.

Also possibly endangered: the continued success of the USC men’s basketball program. After making the NCAA Tournament for the third straight season for the first time in school history, the Trojans might be going back to square one as ESPN has word that an Arizona radio station is reporting that Tim Floyd has agreed to become the Arizona Wildcats’ new head coach, with an announcement as early as today.

This is all speculation, and as the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS notes, this radio station has recently also had Rick Pitino and Jeff Capel as taking over at Arizona, so take everything with a grain of salt. But the LOS ANGELES TIMES reports that there may be smoke to this fire: Floyd apparently flew out yesterday to Tucson and was given 24 hours to decide on accepting the position by Arizona AD Jim Livengood.

Which is all very interesting, since Floyd rejected an overture by LSU last year, saying that USC was “his last job.” Then there’s the matter of the “impassioned speech” he gave at the team banquet Wednesday night, imploring players such as Taj Gibson and DeMar DeRozan to not jump to the NBA and come back next season to help the Trojans make a run at a national title. And then he got on a plane the next morning to interview for the Arizona job. That’s venturing into Bobby Petrino level of sleaziness.

Finally, a busy night of World Cup soccer qualifying has also brought us two people to add to the endangered list. The first is Argentine legend Diego Maradona, whose own near-death experiences with drugs and weight made him frequently endangered in the past. But this time, it’s not his life that’s in danger but his managing career, after his Argentina squad was demolished 6-1 by lowly Bolivia.

How embarrassing is this? It’s the first time they’ve given up six goals in a game since the World Cup…in 1958. Bolivia is 50 places behind Argentina in the FIFA world rankings, and their hat trick hero was Joaquin Botero, who plays for a second-division team in Mexico. This is Chaminade beating Virginia type stuff, where you glance at the box score over and over to make sure you didn’t read it wrong, before convincing yourself it’s just a typo.

And speaking of Mexico…if I were embattled manager Sven-Goren Eriksson, I wouldn’t even bother making the team flight back from Honduras, where his team suffered a humiliating 3-1 defeat, unless he wants his severed head to be placed on a pike outside of Atzeca Stadium as a warning to future managers.

The win allowed Honduras to leapfrog Mexico into the third and final guaranteed CONCACAF berth in the 2010 World Cup. Although there’s a lot of games left in both North & Central American and South American qualifying, there’s a chance that Argentina and Mexico could wind up facing each other in a two-game playoff, with the winner getting a World Cup spot and the loser staying home.

Other sports stories you might have missed last night as you were going to the hospital ER in Texas again…and again…and again…

• This is not going to help Wisconsin out in recruiting at all: the DAILY CARDINAL reports that the Badgers have banned ESPN’s Erin Andrews from working as a sideline reporter during games in Madison because she’s too much of a “distraction.” Unless this is a particularly clever April Fool’s joke…which it is.



• Remember when Pete Carroll acted petulant at Mark Sanchez’s press conference announcing he was turning pro? Scouts at USC’s Pro Day tell the LOS ANGELES TIMES that Carroll is now claiming he acted that way to “test” Sanchez’s resolve to turn pro. Because acting like a spoiled child is going to convince him to come back.
• It’s not just American athletes who get into trouble at strip bars late at night: THE MIRROR has word that Sunderland and French international striker Djibril Cissé has been arrested after allegedly grabbing a woman by the throat at a late-night strip club. You might remember him for having the distinction of suffering horrific, Theisman-like leg breaks not once but twice in his career, which you can watch here and here. (Warning: not for the faint of heart.)
• Give Sen. John McCain credit for doing something right: the DALLAS MORNING-NEWS says that the former Presidential candidate is lobbying for a posthumous pardon of old-timey boxing champ Jack Johnson for trumped up, racially-biased charges. It still won’t make me forget that McCain voted against Martin Luther King Day, but it’s a start.
• A word of warning: don’t take a quick paycheck to record canned introductions to videos for a company you know nothing about. Greg Gumbel failed to heed this advice, and he wound up as the spokesperson for a time-share, which ONLINE SPORTS GUYS says has lead to a lawsuit. Here’s one video in question:
  

• SI.COM says that the Hockey Hall of Fame has changed its rules, opening the door for the first female player to be voted in. Someone in Canada, Don Cherry is burning his plaid Depends adult diapers in protest.
• Hey look, another lacrosse team has been forced to suspend their season because of alleged misconduct. But the story of the Curry College team is far different than Duke, according to the BOSTON HERALD. Team members allegedly hazed new players at a party, although even the freshmen “victims” seem to think it was no big deal. Remind me to bring a lawyer if I ever go to a college lacrosse party.
• WSLS-TV says that Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer prepared for the upcoming season by doing some NASCAR racing. He didn’t do so hot, but his goiter was signed to a developmental deal with Joe Gibbs Racing.
• Somehow former Cleveland Browns QB Bernie Kosar is being dragged into the Rod Blagojevich mess. RUMORS AND RANTS reports that Kosar was on some sort of fundraising “hit list” put together by the then-Illinois Governor with the Steve Garvey haircut just before he was arrested.
• The Boston Celtics barely avoided another humiliating defeat to the Charlotte Bobcats, as the BOSTON GLOBE reports that Ray Allen’s three-pointer at the end of OT gave them a 114-106 victory.

We ask because, at this point, we could almost start a blog updating solely with news about Twittering athletes, coaches and GMs. Yesterday, we wrote about the infamous tweets of the Buffalo Bills and Brian Burke. Sunday, we wrote about Mark Cuban. And you know what? There are two more breaking Twitter stories this morning.

According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, the inevitable fine against Cuban came down on Monday, and it landed with the resounding thud of $25,000. Considering the fact that Cuban’s rant was exactly 140 characters, Cuban was paying approximately $178.57 per letter for his screed against J.R. Smith. Not surprisingly, Cuban was none too happy about being lighter in the wallet, and he responded by questioning whether outlets - like, say, SPORTSbyBROOKS - has the right to re-publish his tweet, getting attention for it and, thus, earning him fines.

The answer, as pointed out by FANHOUSE, is a resounding “yes”. Because Cuban’s profile is set to public, we all get to read and re-publish his thoughts. That’s pretty much the definition of fair use. Yet the most interesting line of Cuban’s entire discussion with the FANHOUSE folks is his closing sentence:

@NBAFanHouse not close. I like to create discussion. makes things interesting

Yes, yes he does. At a cost of approximately $25G a pop.

Meanwhile, Celtics star Paul Pierce pulled off his best Shaquille O’Neal impersonation, giving away free tickets to Boston fans who showed up at his car and proffered up the pre-listed password (which, cornily enough, was “truth”). The first five jokers who have been stalking Twitter in their Paul Pierce 34 jerseys and jumped at the chance to meet him got the free seats, and web site BOSTONCS was there to chronicle the whole experience.

All of this got us thinking: Has Twitter officially jumped the shark? What started as a slightly clever way to send instant inside jokes became instantly cool when a few athletes re-discovered their inner dork, and it’s now gone so mainstream that mediocre stars need to imitate the big shots just to stay culturally relevant.

Add to that the mind screw that is Cuban doing anything — the eternal debate of whether he’s doing it because he thinks it’s cool, whether he’s doing it to manipulate the media and fans, whether he’s doing it for both reasons or whether we should even care because he’s such a tool — and maybe we’ve reached the point that we should all blow Twitter off indefinitely … or at least until Anna Kournikova shows up and starts describing what it’s like to get dressed in the morning.

Some news last night wasn’t quite fit to Tweet, because it hasn’t been completely wrapped up. As Jason first wrote last night, it sure looks like John Calipari is heading toward a long-distance commute from Memphis to Lexington, Ky.  Of course, we don’t know that’s true … yet, but there are plenty of reasons to believe the substantial rumors, one of which is this camera, which — as DEADSPIN first reported yesterday — is permanently trained on the door of Memphis’s Athletic Department.

In fact, the whole “Cal to Kentucky” bit is getting so much attention that, as Tuffy first coined in an email last night, you have believe the video alluded to in the ESPN.com screenshot below would lead to a camera trained directly on Calipari’s personal bedroom.

We’re betting it’s going to happen, and that it will happen sooner rather than later. And you know what? In the end, it’s a good thing for college basketball. After all, how great will it be to have Calipari and Rick Pitino facing off against each other in an annual turf war? And just think! This time it won’t just be about who can cheat to land recruits more effectively!

And just when you thought former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s pantomime villain routine couldn’t get any more obvious, it turns out he named a secret agreement to sell Wrigley Field to the state of Illinois — all in return for numerous tax breaks for former Cubs owner Sam Zell — after a throwaway joke in the Blues Brothers.

Blagojevich referred to the Wrigley Field negotiations as “Operation Elwood”, named in honor of Elwood Blues (also known as Dan Aykroyd), whose listed address on his driver’s license was Wrigley Field.

It’s yet another ridiculous chapter from a brazenly agressive civil tyrant, but then again, what do you expect from a guy who, just months after being impeached from office, is already guest hosting talk radio shows and hand picking the callers.

• Enough with real news, lets try to manufacture some that involves incredibly attractive people. Like Alyonka Larionov, who may or may not be dating either Alexander Ovechkin or Pavel Datsyuk. She’s also a budding viral video star, so maybe she’ll be dating someone else to keep her in the news soon, too.

• Jay Cutler still isn’t in camp, and now he may have to hitch a ride to get there. Why? Because his contract just got $100,000 lighter.
• Now we know why the Braves wouldn’t up their offer for Jake Peavy in the offseason: They wanted to save some of the money to extend Chipper Jones.
• What do Bob Knight, Rick Pitino, Roy Williams and Coach K all have in common? They’re Guitar Heroes. Every last one of them.

• Virginia picked the perfect man to be the school’s new men’s basketball coach: Tony Bennett. He can take really smart white guys and make them play like … really smart white guys! Except they win!
• The latest proof that Mike Leach is absolutely awesome: A one-man study session at the 50-yard-line … in the snow.
• Is Keith Jardine really one of the 100 ugliest men on the planet? Well, looking at that photo, yes, maybe he is.

• Just because we haven’t covered enough Twitter addiction today: USC Coach Pete Carroll’s ridiculous campaign to get buddy Will Farrell on Twitter reached new heights, including this self-produced video.

• This past weekend, Jenson Button won the first F1 event of the season, the Australian Grand Prix. We know, we know, why should you care? Because this woman — Jessica Michibata — is his girlfriend. Now you have a new reason to root for Jenson Button. And if you needed more reason, there’s this: He kept the press waiting for 15 minutes after his Aussie Grand Prix win to … have sex with Michibata. Clearly, he sticks to his priorities.

• Since when, exactly, did being the NASCAR champion make one qualified to be a character witness in the tax evasion trial of a fellow auto racer? Someone might want to explain that disconnect to Jimmy Johnson and Helio Castroneves.

Longtime USC beat writer Scott Wolf of the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS criticized Pete Carroll’s public reaction today to Mark Sanchez announcing he is going pro.

(Awkward)

Wolf reports:

USC coach Pete Carroll was extremely ungracious during the Mark Sanchez press conference. He stormed out of the room and did not even sit at the table before Sanchez addressed the media. Something he never did when Matt Leinart, etc., announced their decisions. Carroll never sat down at the table but stood with his palms on the table. His anger was clear if you spend time around him. Not a great moment.

That sort of reportage on Carroll harkens his days with the Jets, when media notations of his erratic behavior on and off-the-field weren’t uncommon. (Remember the throat-slash he signaled on-field in the ’90s while coaching the struggling Jets?)

Here in Los Angeles, Carroll can do no wrong. Especially with the latest publicity about his frequent visits to meet inner-city Angelenos. But for people who have studied the program closely, there’s been a definite shift in Carroll’s coaching approach since USC’s remarkable championship run. And it isn’t for the better.

(Video of Carroll’s reaction at Sanchez presser after the jump)

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If you needed a sign about how little respect Pete Carroll has for UCLA ahead of their rivalry game this Saturday, consider this nugget from the ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER: the Trojans are going to be wearing their home Cardinal and Gold uniforms for the game, even though it’s going to cost them a time out each half.

It’s a throwback to a tradition of both teams in the Crosstown Rivalry wearing their home uniforms that lasted until 1982, when it was stopped by the No-Fun Police of the NCAA. Carroll has had a jones to restart it since he’s been at USC, and he’s apparently willing to lose a pair of time outs to make this happen.

You don’t do this unless you are a 33-point favorite against a team whose offense scored four touchdowns for the other team last week, and you don’t have a chance in making it to the National Title game. I guess the football monopoly in Los Angeles isn’t quite over yet…

Meanwhile, the NFL game that no one wanted to see turned out to not be very good. The Houston Texans made their first-ever appearance on Monday Night Football…if not memorable, at least successful, beating the similarly hapless Jacksonville Jaguars 30-17.

Steve Slaton rushed for a pair of TDs, and Mario Williams had three sacks while continuing to make you wonder just how lousy the Texans would be if they had drafted bust Reggie Bush instead of him.

Other stories to consider while thanking God that this isn’t your son:

• NBA cheerleader scandal alert: DON CHAVEZ has a Cavaliers’ cheerleader caught in a bubble bath with a female friend. As you would hope, some of the pictures are more NSFW than others.



• If Lance Armstrong wants to make me care about his Tour de France comeback, he should try racing while riding one of GIZMODO’s 10 Most Insane Concept Bikes. If he can win with a bike made out of cardboard, then I’ll be impressed.
• Sure, Plaxico Burress might have shot himself in the leg, but did he crash through a glass table while dreaming of spiders? COMPLEX counts down the Top 5 Most Infamous Self-Inflicted Athlete Injuries.
• According to ESPN, Hal Mumme is not so much the coach at New Mexico State anymore. Next destination for Charlie Weis?
• JUICED SPORTS BLOG has the answers to why Stephon Marbury has been a cancer everywhere he’s been. Turns out he’s a jerk.
• TRUE HOOP breaks down the genesis of Allen Iverson’s crossover (patent pending).
• Hubert “Pit” Martin, a four-time all-star with the Chicago Blackhawks in the 1960s and 1970s, was killed on Sunday when his snowmobile plunged through an ice-covered lake in Canada, according to TSN.
• Topping the list of ways not to die, from FLORIDA SPORTSMAN MAGAZINE: being dragged under water by my boat’s anchor rope as my son looks on. This is why I don’t own a boat (or have a son).
• Want to buy Mike Francesa’s four-bedroom house in Manhasset, NY? BOB’S BLITZ says it can be yours for the cool price of $2.9 million.
• The WNBA is doing great - people are gaga for women’s basketball. Never mind the fact that the Houston Comets - the team that won the league’s first four championships - are folding. KHOU-TV has all the gory details.

Is it going to be like this for the next year and a half? Every NBA team with cap space rolling out the red carpet for LeBron James like it’s a recruiting trip and he’s Johnny Walker. Last night was the Knicks’ turn to playing willing host, both figuratively and literally - the fans gave him a hero’s welcome, and the team played their role as second bananas as they were little obstacle in the Cavaliers’ 119-101 win.

Meanwhile, let me remind again you that King James doesn’t become a free agent until July 2010 - that’s almost two full seasons from now. So expect the parade to be coming to your town very soon - perhaps he won’t be wearing special shoes dedicated to your city, but believe me, you’re going to get really sick of it very soon.

Also coming to your city is Ball State - provided that your city is Detroit, and not a place like Glendale, New Orleans, Miami or Pasadena where they have a BCS bowl game. The Cardinals took care of Western Michigan 45-22 to wrap up a perfect regular season and book a date in the MAC title game in the Motor City. So good for them, I guess.

Meanwhile, there were some damned compelling college basketball games last night. Chief among them was Notre Dame hanging on to beat Texas 81-80 at the Maui Invitational, as A.J. Abrams’ desperation 60-footer at the buzzer hit the rim but missed. It sets up a meeting against No. 1 North Carolina for the eighth-ranked Fighting Irish and a chance for their fans to have something to celebrate in advance of their annual thrashing at the hands of USC this weekend.

• How many ways to hate Jon Gruden? Let FOOD COURT LUNCH show you all of his punchable faces.



• Say hello to Diagne Thierno Seydou Nouro, the Danny Almonte of Japanese high school basketball: The MAINICHI DAILY NEWS says the Senegalese exchange student shaved almost five years off his age to play on a championship-winning high school team.
• Your daily dose of economic bad news: ESPN reports that plenty of advertising spots for the Super Bowl this year are still available, despite NBC’s earlier rosy predictions.
• In other financial news, the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE says that Cal coach Jeff Tedford has deferred a bonus payment due to him until…some time in the future.
• Pete Carroll’s excuse for the otherwise inexplicable loss to Oregon State earlier this year? He tells the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS that it was the aftermath of the hype of the Ohio State game.
• Speaking of Oregon State, it looks like their path to their first Rose Bowl appearance since the 1964 season just got murkier, as THE OREGONIAN reports that star running back Jacquizz Rodgers is unlikely to play in their must-win Civil War game against Oregon this Saturday with an injured shoulder.
• Just when Cleveland Browns fans thought they had seen the last of Derek Anderson doing anything other than holding a clipboard…the CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER notes that he’ll be the starting QB for the final five games now that Brady Quinn is shelved for the year with his broken finger.
• Julius Jones tells the SEATTLE TIMES just how fired up he is to face his former team the Cowboys this Thanksgiving. I’m sure that Dallas is just as excited to see his hapless new team the Seahawks come to town.
• INTENTIONAL FOUL brushes up on some of the greatest mustaches in NBA history. Expect NBA TV to have a four-part special over Christmas.
• Manny Ramirez and Mark Teixeira buyers beware! THE EXAMINER has compiled an all-Scott Boras Bust team.

Apparently, all it took was one loss for some ugly fissures in the Tennessee Titans’ sense of team unity to be laid open. In this case, the TENNESSEAN says the aggrieved party is Titans running back/Dr. Dre lookalike LenDale White, who went off to a reporter about his playing time after getting only one carry. Imagine if they lose a second game this season - the locker room might be ripped in two.

It would be great to report that despite his limited playing time yesterday, White remained enthusiastic and a team player, and didn’t turn into a selfish jerk. However…seriously, this is an NFL player we’re talking about here. How do you think it’s going to play out?

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Yes, this is another politics post. Agree with it? Go vote about it. Disagree with it? Go vote about it. But only after you vote in our own poll below!

There are many reasons to hate the USC Trojans. Most of them have to do with some combination of the Reggie Bush scandal and outright jealousy. But you can’t hate them for Pete Carroll, not if you have even one sensical bone in your body.

(Pete Carroll, demonstrating the enormous importance of this election. Or hugging Invisible Grimace. Whatever.)

The ever-excited coach rebuilt the Trojans into one of the three best programs in the country right now (Florida, Texas) and has done so with class, honor, and humor. And now, with this momentous election on top of us, he’s got his players thinking about politics.

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Every time USC football seems to get back onto a roll, something bad happens. Injuries, upset losses, NCAA investigations.

(Vidal Hazelton’s (r) father sent a tersely-worded missive to Carroll) 

This time, an astonishingly blunt letter from the father of USC wide receiver Vidal Hazelton has surfaced online that details his dissatisfaction with Pete Carroll’s USC football medical staff. Even stranger is the reaction of Vidal’s grandmother, who contradicts his father’s assertions and says, “My (grand)son is drama. I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

Uh, wot?

OK, well here’s the angry letter that was fired off by Dexter Hazelton, and posted at Scout.com. (Vidal’s father is also claiming he doesn’t know how the communique ended up online.)

I am at a complete loss for words because my son, Vidal, has not received
treatment on his ankle and quadriceps since the team’s return to Los Angeles
on Saturday evening. As you know, Vidal suffered a contusion to his
quadriceps muscle and sprained his ankle during the UVA game. To date (for
over 36 hours), (1) his ankle has not been X-rayed and (2) he has received
no treatment to either injury, other than having a boot placed on his ankle. Read more…

As Randy Newman would say, there’s trouble in paradise for the USC: starting quarterback/teen heartthrob Mark Sanchez is fighting a knee injury suffered against Oregon that, as the LOS ANGELES TIMES reports, might keep him out of Saturday’s game against Arizona State and hand the keys of the Trojan offense to Mitch Mustain.

Or not. Just listen to USC offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian on Monday, as he gave one of the most confusing injury reports in sports history:

Read more…