• An ex-University of New Mexico employee sues the football department, claiming that the Lobos are only looking to employ lovely young ladies.

(“Hey, that bikini is in our school colors! You’re hired!”)

• South Africa can’t seem to give World Cup tickets away, but they’re going to try anyway.

• Washington Nationals broadcasters take some on-air time lambasting Scott Boras and his high-priced client, Stephen Strasburg.

• Speaking of D.C., Redskins backup QB Colt Brennan denies hooking up with Jessica Simpson. Hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, Colt.

• Brendan Haywood doesn’t think much of Stephon Marbury’s latest online entertainment, but does think he might be gay.

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You remember Fran Tarkenton from such hits as “taking the Vikings to three Super Bowls and losing all of them,” and “That former Green Bay quarterback is the devil.” Having established his NFL traditionalist status with the latter, you might be surprised when you learn his take on the Eagles’ signing of Michael Vick.

He loves it. In fact, it’s not often that you hear an ex-NFL player use the term “ticked to death,” but that’s how Tarkenton described his feelings when he learned that Philadelphia snapped up Vick last week. Meanwhile, the Rebel Alliance, aka PETA, is planning their next move against the City of Philadelphia, Vick, and anyone who wears fur. R2, I have a bad feeling about this. Read more…

When I evaluate an NFL cheerleading team, my inevitable first question is, do they use enough recycled material in their uniforms? What better cheer squad to go green than that of the Philadelphia Eagles, who have done so in a big way. They unveiled their new calendar on Wednesday, and let me just begin by noting that many of their bikinis are made from recycled soda bottles. I’m sure that the typical Eagles fan will appreciate that.

Actually it may delight Eagles fans to know that the stadium debris they’re hurling at cowering Giants’ fans in the fall may become calendar bikinis worn by their cheerleaders by December. The entire cheerleading squad showed off bikinis and jewelry by designers Aaron Chang and San Natura Organics on Wednesday at the Prince Music Theater; and yes, to answer your next question, they did include recycled guitar picks.

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You thought the victory celebration in Los Angeles was rough? This stuffed penguin begs to differ. Stanley the Gamer, as he has been dubbed, was rescued no less than three times from rowdy Red Wings fans bent on destroying him prior to Game 7 on the NHL Playoffs on Friday. But he survived, and is credited as the good luck charm that made the difference in Pittsburgh’s 2-1 win for the Stanley Cup.

His reward? Stanley was repaired and taken to the Penguins’ victory parade in downtown Pittsburgh today, where he received a hero’s welcome along with the actual players. Opus approves. Read more…

Last time we saw Jessica Simpson hit the stage, the gal pal of Tony Romo could have passed for one of the Cowboys QB’s offensive linemen. So when she was set to perform at Sea World in San Antonio last weekend, would the audience have trouble telling her apart from Shamu?

(Jessica before at the chili cookoff [left], and recently at her Sea World show [right]. Well, fish is healthier than chili.)

Not really, as Simpson showed up for the Bud & BBQ country concert series much svelter than before. And it’s nice to see her rocking the Daisy Dukes again - likely as a homage to her scene-stealing performance in “The Dukes of Hazzard” film.

While her fans may have been pleased to have less of Jess to love, not everyone was ecstatic with her Sea World shindig. Enter PETA.

(More pics of Simpson’s Sea World show after the jump.)

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Somehow, with every Michael Vick story that has come out over the past year, you had to know that this one was coming: AD AGE says that the disgraced former NFL star QB is in talks with PETA to become a spokesman for their organization, denouncing dog fighting and trying to steer others away from the dark path that ruined his life. Sort of a modern version of the Yul Brynner “I’m dead now, please don’t smoke” PSAs from the 1980s, but with more hair and more dogfighting.

Vick’s lawyers are working with PETA to make this happen. So as soon as Vick’s released from jail you can expect him to hit the ground running on the “I’m sorry I forced dogs to kill and maim each other” circuit - but this time with PETA’s blessing rather than hundreds of protesters at every stop. In fact, one of the executives at PETA thinks that, much like Smokey The Bear, only Michael Vick can prevent dogfighting.

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My first thought when reading about donkey ball was, “what are the odds this isn’t from the Middle East?” My second thought, after realizing how obvious it was that it’s played in rural America, was, “how can we get this on TV?”

(It’s like trying to teach Vince Carter to hustle.)

So, who knew? Apparently donkey ball has been played in this country since the ’50s, when those first brave Americans taught their asses to play basketball. Actually, you can’t really teach a donkey much, so you just hope it wanders near the basketball for you to take a shot.

Video of our new favorite sport, after the jump.

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PETA doesn’t want you to have that hot dog at the game. They don’t want you to set up a grill to tailgate in the parking lot. Basically, they don’t want you to have any fun at a football game. And now to make it easier for you to not have fun, they’ve ranked the top five most vegetarian friendly NFL stadiums. And with a combined record of 25-34-1, it’s not hard to wonder if those five teams are getting enough protein.

Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego took the top spot, for their “bean burritos, veggie sushi rolls, vegetable wraps, veggie hot dogs, and Gardenburgers.” I’m not surprised that San Diegans are watching their figures; most just use sporting events as an excuse to get a base tan. But the other ones on the list, including two perennial contenders for the fattest city in America, leave me scratching my head.

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In between hitting line drive homers and almost getting beaned in the dome, the Phillies’ Shane Victorino enjoys himself a Spam musubi every once in a while. And, of course, PETA is all bent out of shape over it.

A musubi is a piece of Spam and a small block of rice wrapped in seaweed and is one of the most popular food items in Victorino’s home state of Hawaii. To the calm, rational folks at PETA, though, if you eat one you might as well be jamming a fork into a pig’s face. They’re looking for Victorino to condemn the treatment of pigs at a farm that supplies meat to Spam-maker Hormel. Thus far, he’s doing what most people do when PETA’s badgering them — ignoring them.

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Earlier this week, we learned that Amanda Beard would be baring it all again for a photo shoot, but instead of posing for Playboy, the Olympic swimmer would be showing skin for PETA. And lo & behold, here’s Amanda, in all her anti-fur glory:

(Amanda’s au natural ad, as displayed on the CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s site)

In following up on the fab photo, Dan Steinberg of the temporarily named BEIJING SPORTS SMOG caught up with Amanda to learn why she did the shoot, and why other athletes haven’t been as expressive in supporting controversial causes.

And it pretty much comes down to testicular fortitude. (A more detailed image of Beard’s provocative PETA ad is after the jump.) Read more…