What do you do when you make a terrible mistake (like, say, a DUI) and word gets out that your ridiculously gifted VJ fiancée (one LaLa Vazquez) may not be thrilled with you at the moment? If you’re Carmelo Anthony and have a great PR firm on retainer, you find the right home for your message: PEOPLE.

(LaLa knows all about support for weighty tissue issues)

Don’t let the sportswriters or actual reporters get first shot at you; issue a terse press release with your apology on the day of the arrest and then get LaLa into a PEOPLE blurb, saying something blandly supportive like:

“I fully support my fiancé, Carmelo Anthony, and stand by him through this ordeal.”

Can you feel the love tonight?
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