Social scientists will eventually discover what English sports fans have long known: living on an island for too long traps the stupid and makes it multiply. Either that or neuroscientists will realize beating a soccer ball off your head for 25 years leads to unbelievably bad decisions.
(Is my dignity in here? No? Then let’s start filming!)
This will hopefully explain Beckham’s decision to join MLS, England’s inability to field the right squad to make the European Championships, and why one of their managers and former players films his bondage sessions with a woman that is not his wife. It’s got to be the blows to the head, right?