Imagine for a moment that you are the CEO of a major corporation - the leader in its industry (widgets, likely). You live in a subtropical climate, close to two major bodies of water and attendant beaches. You have the adulation of your employees and your community. You make millions of dollars per year in salary. Hot wife, good kids, the world is truly your playground.

(Hey you - yeah, you. Shut up.)

Now imagine that an older, once-proud company in the Rust Belt came calling, asking you to take it over. It used to be an industry leader many decades ago but is now a shell of its former self. It’s been run into the ground by poor management despite its brand recognition. Think of, say, Chrysler. You’d have to take a pay cut, live in a crappy part of the country, and your employers would be bitter, hateful people who would blame you the first moment something went wrong. You’d tell them to shove it and you know it. Just like Urban Meyer did to Notre Dame.

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For those of you who have always thought CBS sportscaster Tim Brando was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, you need not wait any longer. Brando, who is perhaps best known for his basketball catchphrase “the iron unkind,” was the guest on a radio show on Tuesday and absolutely destroyed a caller who challenged his opinion.

Here’s how it went: on the Paul Finebaum Show, which is a syndicated sports talk show throughout the Southeast, a caller who is an Auburn fan challenged Brando about his contention that the university had become a joke for hiring Gene Chizik (and really, it’s not like Brando is the first person to come up with this). What follows is hilariously frightening. I wonder if Brando has gone off like this on Mike Gminski.

Transcription and audio after the jump:

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Moving Day! I’m outta Miami this afternoon. Really excited, as I’m off to traverse the vast, fruited plain of our great nation, plumbing the depths of the valleys and climbing ever-higher, to the highest Nubian Peak:

(That’s almost as good as this- thanks Orson!)

By now you’ve probably seen Punter’s post on the Giants’ Super Bowl rings getting stolen from a jewelry store located just 10 miles from the Patriots’ offices. I’ve since heard from a league source that the rings were soon to be delivered to additional club employees (the players, coaches and top front office staff got theirs first).

So with the news of the heist, boy is Vladimir Putin ever pissed!

I’ve got some breaking news for LSU fans:

Nebraska was not a slave state.

From the Dept. of Unfounded, Uncalled-For Cheap Shots, I give you the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS: “Was that really the woman who accused Kobe Bryant of rape in Colorado at one of the Lakers-Celtics games in Boston? A source swears he saw her. Something seemed to be distracting Bryant.”

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