Zinger: Ex-Ryder Cup Captain Mocks Tiger Injury

Paul Azinger, Captain of the 2008 USA Ryder Cup team that won the trophy from the Europeans, Tweeted this after the news of Tiger Woods withdrawing from The Players Championship because of a neck injury:

Paul Azinger Swedish Massage Tweet About Tiger's Next Injury

“Could this have been prevented with a good Swedish massage?”

Interesting (and amusing) reax from Azinger considering he piloted the Americans to the 2008 Ryder Cup win without Woods, who was out with a knee injury.

Perhaps Azinger was thinking the same thing many of us were when Woods withdrew today. Woods won the U.S. Open on a broken leg and wrecked knee but can’t finish a round with a pain in the neck?

Though Azinger did draft Woods as a ceremonial member of the team that year. Read more…

NY Mets’, Scott Linehan’s Seasons End Too Soon

• The New York Mets are out of the playoff picture, thanks to a late-season swoon. This is not a repeat.

Scott Linehan Mets fans

• Not Ram tough: Scott Linehan is given the St. Louis toodle-oo.

• Don’t call it a comeback: Shawn Kemp goes AWOL from his Italian b-ball club, blames it on Hurricane Ike.

• Hard to tell which was more painful to watch - Anquan Boldin taking a hit to the helmet, or the Jets’ Titan-ically terrible throwback duds.

• The Brewers’ season-ending run was exciting enough to make you tinkle in your trousers. But make sure you don’t sing “Go Cubs Go!” at Miller Park.

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Rays Finally Decide Who’s Throwing Out 1st Pitch

Last week, we told you of the postseason dilemma facing the Tampa Bay Rays - namely, who was going to throw out the ceremonial first pitch? There were all sorts of suggestions, ranging from Dick Vitale, Wade Boggs, Hulk Hogan, and many, many more.

Paul Azinger Boo Weekley

Well, the 2008 AL East champs have finally made their decisions for not one, but two games. Game 2’s special pitching guest will be Paul Azinger, captain of the U.S. Ryder Cup team and open campaigner for the golden opportunity. And there’s Paul above, kissing Boo Weekley upon hearing the great news.

But who was awarded the grand prize of hurling the horsehide for the Rays’ first-ever playoff game? The lucky winner is none other than…

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Rays Don’t Know Who to Get for Playoff First Pitch

This is too good to pass up. Fresh off clinching the franchise’s first-ever playoff berth, the Tampa Bay Rays now face a serious problem: Who will throw out the first pitch in their first playoff game?

Ever-diplomatic for such a previously woeful franchise, the Rays’ first instinct was to make it public through the WASHINGTON POST that you’re not worthy. You, as in, anyone:

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Europeans Bolloxed By American Crowds At Ryder

If Americans know how to do anything with our frontier roots, we know how to get rowdy. Such was the case all week at the Ryder Cup as frenzied *golf* crowds rallied the American duffers to victory after a string of embarrassing defeats. American captain Paul Azinger called the supporters the “13th man”, but at least one European player thinks otherwise.

Europe’s Lee Westwood called out several abuses. Reports the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN SENTINEL: Westwood said there was some “shameful” fan participation, including a foul reference about his mother before he hit a tee shot, and a nuisance telephone call to his room in the wee hours before the final round. Read more…

U.S. Team Brings Ryder Cup Back To The States

There’s nothing quite like the Ryder Cup, where high-profile professional golfers put their individual accomplishments aside for a weekend and work as an actual team. And America was made proud today as our boys in red, white, and blue took home the trophy from those pretentious cappuccino-sipping Europeans.

Jim Furyk, Ryder Cup

(”Give me back my cup!”)

The final day began with the U.S. team up 9-7 on the Europeans. The lead quickly rose when rookie Anthony Kim defeated Europe’s Sergio Garcia, who suffered his worst loss in Ryder Cup history. Following up on that, Kenny Perry, Boo Weekly and J.B. Holmes all won their matches before Jim Furyk finally clinched the cup with a victory over Miguel Angel Jimenez, giving the Americans the necessary 14.5 points.

Even more shocking was that the team won without Tiger Woods, which is kind of like the Patriots winning the Super Bowl after losing Tom Brady.

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Wooooooo! Golf! Wooooooo! Take That, Europe!

Day two of the Ryder Cup is well underway, after a Friday that featured the plucky underdog American team of multi-millionaires in matching polos taking a sizable early lead over Europe’s group of more stylish, but equally wealthy, ball-whackers.

Mickelson, Tiger, and Davis Love get excited about golf

And what an electric atmosphere it was. Middle aged white guys from all over the country have descended upon Louisville’s Valhalla Golf Club to rock the house, going as far as nearly creating actual excitement. Which, of course, rankled the Euros, who apparently believe the sport should remain a solemn exercise in tedium. C’mon guys, politely and respectfully bomb those chaps back to the stone age! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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Can US Ryder Cup Team Win One For The Tiger?

Publicly, Tiger Woods is saying there is no chance he will be attending this weekend’s Ryder Cup matches in Kentucky, even as a spectator. The DAILY TELEGRAPH is reporting that Woods might be planning a surprise appearance to give a speech and fire the team up. The question I have is simple: Why would that matter?

Ryder Cup team

Last time I checked, Tiger was on the last Ryder Cup team, the one that was blown out by the same record margin as the team in 2002. Hey, Tiger was on that team too? I thought he never lost, ever. If having him actually play last time (and earn a third of the team’s points) wasn’t enough, how much of a difference is him giving a “rah-rah” speech going to make?

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Notre Dame’s Holtz Statue More Lifelike Than Holtz

It should be exciting on the Notre Dame campus this weekend. Not because of the game between the Fighting Irish and Michigan - let’s face it, this has become one of the most overrated “rivalries” in sports, and if the two teams combine for more than 24 points I’d be shocked. No, it will be a thrill ride because, as the AP reports, Notre Dame is dedicating a statue of Lou Holtz.

Lou Holtz

Although I’m sure if you ask Holtz, the statue of Bo Schembechler is a far superior statue, much bigger and taller and made of higher quality bronze, and there’s really no way that his statue can compare with it. The statue depicts Holtz standing on the sideline calling a play.

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Tiger Shows Grit, Heart By Knocking Up Elin Again

Remember early in 2008, when Tiger Woods decided to play a limited early-season schedule and skipped most of the PGA Tour stops ahead of the Masters? While he might have been resting his ailing knee, he apparently was also doing what most of us would have done in his situation: having sex with his Swedish model wife.

Elin Nordgren

At least, that’s how the math works out after Woods announced on his Web site that he and Elin Nordegren were expecting their second child sometime this winter. (No firm date has been given yet: presumably he’s waiting for his caddy Steve Williams to consult his book before making a decision.)

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