Twosome Who Torched McNabb’s Lawn Turned In

• Police have put the cuffs on the pyromaniacal perpetrators who messed up Donovan McNabb’s suburban Phoenix lawn.

Rex Perkins Donovan McNabb Ryan Hanlon

(Criminal masterminds Rex Perkins [L] & Ryan Hanlon [R])

• Notre Dame denies the rumors that they want to grab Jon Gruden.

• First Sir Charles, and now the D-Backs mascot. Guys, just call a cab.

• This parrot has ceased to be … a spectator at an English soccer game, because he kept impersonating the ref’s whistle.

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Polly Wants A Cracker, Instead Gets A Red Card

There are a lot of differences between sports fans here in America and over in England. For instance, when Americans run onto the court or field, they’re usually doing it to celebrate the home team’s victory. When the English do it, they’re generally running onto the pitch with the intentions of murdering either a player or a referee. It’s a subtle difference, sure, but it’s rather important.

parrot soccer ref red card

Of course, security in both countries differs, as well. Where as here in the States they generally perform full cavity searches to make sure you’re not sneaking in a half-pint of Jack Daniels, in England they’re more concerned with keeping you off the field or rioting, so you can bring more stuff into the stadium with you. Could you imagine bringing your parrot with you in a cage while going to see a Pirates game? There’s no way in hell they’d let you do that, but in England it’s cool. It also leads to trouble.

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