Youth Soccer, On The Scale Of Theft Awfulness

Rather jarring news from the world of children in Umbro shorts today, as La Quinta AYSO (American Youth Soccer Organiziation) regional commissioner Sharon Schumaier was named in a felony embezzlement investigation over a sizable chunk of missing money, according to the PALM SPRINGS (CA) DESERT SUN.

Like, over $100,000.

Sharon Schumaier
(Leading contender for Mother of the Year)

As UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL notes, she’s been convicted of a similar crime before, so her claim that she’s resigning because it’s “too much work” should be taken with at least some skepticism. But it got us to thinking, where does this rank on the scale of the most reprehensible places to steal money from? It’s children, after all, but have you ever met a soccer mom who wasn’t a total assbag once she got behind the wheel of her Mercury Mountaineer?

So, let’s place it on our sliding scale of theft awfulness, below:

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Morgan Pressel Has Coming Out Party At Dinah While Carmen Electra Remains In Closet

TEENIE’S COMING OUT PARTY; CARMEN REMAINS IN CLOSET: Congrats to 18-year-old Morgan “Body By McNuggets” Pressel, who claimed her first LPGA Tour victory yesterday at the Nabisco Dinah Shore Classic.

Morgan Pressel Dinah Shore Chicken Nuggets

Pressel was probably a little tender for the tastes of the legions of lesbians who descended on Palm Springs for the same weekend, but Carmen Electra is a different story.

Carmen Electra Dinah Shore

Our Book Of Scrap notes that she was due to make a “big announcement” during her visit to The Dinah festivities last weekend (presumably to announce she is a lesbian and dating Joan Jett).

Joan Jett Carmen Electra

But thankfully for the sake of prospective male, tatted-out D-listers, she has since announced she’s still holed up in the House of Hetero. But I’m wondering if the above promo girls, who were stationed at The Dinah throughout the weekend, made Electra a little more than bi-curious.