Ladies and Gentlemen, Pacman Is Officially Back!

Mothers, lock up your stripper-daughters. Adam “Honestly, Stop Calling Me Pacman” Jones is back on the loose!

Pacman Jones

ESPN reports that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has told the Cowboys that Mr. Jones will be eligible to make it rain with punishing tackles during the regular season-opener against the Browns on September 7th. This gives Cleveland police a mere 10 days to prepare themselves for the onslaught of terror and violence that comes with any Pacman Adam Jones field trip.

To give the police a sense of what to expect, let’s take a trip down memory lane and examine Pacman’s Adam’s lengthy rap sheet:

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