7:32 PM I'm sure Michigan football fans will be more than happy to spend an additional $83,000 to maintain their seat location at Michigan Stadium. With RichRod piloting the ship and the state of the economy, all is well.
Go to any major sporting venue for a game, and you’re likely to hear all sorts of colorful language to describe the visiting team (or, if they suck, the home team). It’s universal that at some point, somebody’s manhood - and indeed, his own ability and desire to procreate with women - is going to be questioned. Repeatedly. And God help any athlete who isn’t white, because that’s going to come up once or twice too.
(Verrry mature.)
But for as much flak as Philadelphia fans have earned for their poor behavior, isn’t it time we started admitting that Chicago fans are rapidly becoming some of the most obnoxiously childish in sports? Why, just over the last couple years, we’ve had casual racism, more casual racism, and now this delightful sign (above) directed at Sports Voldemort and Packers fans in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
Hey, it’s early August, so it’s that time of year to get really fired up about football and be let down again and again by the abyss of suck that is the preseason. The Hall of Fame Game was last night, and it was billed as Terrell Owens‘ big debut for the Bills against the Titans. It’s exciting and all since it’s football, but it’s lame because even before halftime you’re watching guys that even the UFL would reject. Owens was fine in limited action, and both teams only used their starters briefly. By the end of it, guys like Gibran Hamdan and Alex Mortensen (both of whom I think I just made up) were playing quarterback. There was even a Patrick Ramsey sighting.
(I don’t even know who I am)
This particular rivalry is well-known for the “Music City Miracle” back in 2000, and Tennessee pulled another fast one on Buffalo in last night’s games — though the stakes were just slightly smaller. It all started when Titans punter AJ Trapasso took a long snap, and then pulled off one of the best fakes I’ve ever seen:
It’s too bad they can never run that again, since every team has now seen it. Well, except for the Raiders, who I’m sure haven’t figured out this whole “videotape” concept yet.
And how about the jerseys? Both are old AFL teams and were wearing throwbacks that will be brought out periodically during the season. Though for the Titans, the oil derrick image has some uncomfortable connotations. While the Oilers certainly had their moments of success, to the younger generation the logo serves as a reminder of the team’s ugly divorce from Houston (when a couple of thousand people would show up to see the lame duck team during their last year), and their odd welcome in Tennessee (when they played a season in Memphis, wearing the Houston unis and not exactly packing in the fans). When the team switched looks (and the nickname), things started to head the right direction and the Titans have been one of the better teams in the regular season over the last decade.
It’s officially the time in the baseball season when things start getting weird. The Red Sox were held scoreless for 31 innings by the Yankees over the weekend before finally breaking through with a go-ahead homer in the eighth inning last night by trade deadline prize Victor Martinez. But even that wasn’t enough, as Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira went back-to-back in the bottom of the inning to finish off a 5-2 Yankee victory and a four-game sweep of the suddenly hapless Sox.
The Yanks now lead the AL East by 6 1/2 games with roughly 50 to play. Boston, meanwhile, has allowed half of the AL to creep back into the wild card picture. The Rangers are now tied for the lead with the Rays lurking just a game and a half back. Heck, Seattle, a team that traded away Jarrod Washburn and his sub-3.00 ERA, is only 4 1/2 out and have re-appeared as a contender.
But nothing is as odd as what’s going on in the District. The Nats, a team left for dead in early April, have now won eight games in a row after beating the D’Backs yesterday. Quite an accomplishment for a team that only won 32 of its first 104 games. In fact, it’s the third-longest run ever for a team that started a streak at least 40 games under .500.
By comparison, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen’s threats to start throwing at every hitter in the AL in retaliation for the Indians plunking three of his players in Saturday’s game between the two teams seems downright mundane.
• So you know that guy the Raiders drafted first that everyone says they were totally crazy to pick that high? You’re not going to believe this, but it seems as if he’s not really very good. Like, the Niners are still glad they took Crabtree over this guy.
• WAG extraordinaire Colleen Rooney (wife of England soccer player Wayne Rooney) talks about her daily beauty routine in the DAILY MIRROR. She’s not really big on waking up with “panda eyes.”
Say, remember a couple days ago when White Sox fans were whipped up in a lather about Ozzie Guillen’s decision to demote Brian Anderson instead of DeWayne Wise in order to make room for Carlos Quentin? Remember how people had gone so far as to claim racism in emails to Guillen?
(Believe it or not, that’s his happy face.)
Well, it turns out that was far more of a consequential decision than anybody could have imagined. Fast forward to today, and Wise - who, according to a commenter here at SbB, “can’t read a fly ball for anything,” was inserted in center in the 9th inning of Mark Buerhle’s developing perfect game for defensive purposes.
When we last heard from Ozzie Guillen, he was sporting some threads from Chicago Cubs fans, that legendary bastion of maturity. And by that, of course, we mean a shirt that says “Ozzie Guillen Mows Wrigley Field.” Sure, it was based off of a different racist shirt perpetrated against Cub Carlos Zambrano, but this would be a prime example of that whole “two wrongs” thing.
(What could be wrong with this? It’s just innocuous fun for racists everyone.)
Anyway, to Ozzie’s credit, he was able to laugh it all off. We all figured that was because he was above all the racism stuff, but could we have been wrong? Could it be that Guillen’s not only racist, but he hates everybody who isn’t black?
Bartolo Colonis still scheduled to pitch in a rehab assignment tonight for the White Sox Triple-A affiliate in Charlotte, but there’s a problem. No one’s still quite sure he’s going to show up. Colon was completely AWOL until late Tuesday, when the White Sox said that they finally got in touch with him. What’s going on with the big man, who’s supposed to be back on the big club by July 24 — if he gets his rehab work in. Manager Ozzie Guillen thinks he knows what the problem is.
In a report by the CHICAGO TRIBUNE today, Guillen said that he thinks Colon might be emotionally scarred by the death of Michael Jackson. Oh Ozzie, you old bull****er. Um, you are kidding, right? Ozzie …? Read more…
As the Windy City Series gets underway at Wrigley today, Ozzie Guillen managed to have a hearty laugh at some Cubs fans selling shirts that make a mini-mockery of his Hispanic heritage. After such grand guffawing, one is bound to be bedeviled by a parched throat. Hey, Ozzie, how ’bout a Pepsi?
And look who’s co-starring in the commercial with the White Sox manager - it’s none other than Cubs hurler Carlos Zambrano. And even Bobby Abreu makes a last-second cameo.
Ahhh, muy refrescante!
As for the offensive shirts, Ozzie really does get the last laugh - at least for today.
