The newest owner in the NFL just could be a portly individual with strong vocal chords and a problem with illegal prescription drugs. No, not Britney Spears. It’s political chatterbox Rush Limbaugh, the despot Teddy Ruxpin who has made a fortune marketing right-wing bravado like Pop Tarts (which is the only fruit he ever eats, apparently).

St. Louis Blues chairman Dave Checketts is trying to put together a group to buy the Rams, and keep them in St. Louis (is this wise?). But Checketts needs more cash than he can currently get his hands on, and Limbaugh is on record as saying that he would like to be involved. And he can afford it — that cigar he’s smoking there is made of mortgage foreclosure statements and aged silver certificates.

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Last month, we happened to mention New England Patriots’ O-lineman Nick Kaczur helping authorities bust his dealer after getting arrested with prescription pain-killers he didn’t have an Rx for. The BOSTON GLOBE has now gotten ahold of the police report, and it’s a bit of a doozy: Kaczur had 200 Canadian-made Oxycontin pills on him when he was busted.

The original report said “a small amount.” 202 of them doesn’t seem like that small an amount to me, but I’m guessing “small” by smuggling/drug dealing standards. Even better: the dealer Kaczur apparently ratted out to the New York State Police is saying he didn’t sell Kaczur those pills.

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