Red Card Leads To Player’s Chainsaw Rampage

What started as a friendly soccer match just south of London turned ugly when a player was given a red card and sent off the pitch for using foul langauge, which is just unnecessary and ruins everyone’s good time. Wait, you say that’s not enough to warrant a post? How about the fact that he returned to the field with a chainsaw and tried to cut off the hands of a rival player?

Army of Darkness

Via UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL, Anthony Lloyd, a 20-year-old sore loser, chased down the opposing player and cornered him in the bushes, cutting his chest and trying to chop off his hands. It’s like The Malice At The Palace, only with power tools. And a statement from the prosecuting attorney that sounds like a pitch for a horror movie, after the jump.

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Josh Howard Changes Mind, Now Loves America

A couple of weeks ago Dallas Mavericks forward Josh Howard got into a bit of hot water when a video of him saying he didn’t celebrate the national anthem because he’s black popped up on YouTube. Personally, I don’t think Howard meant anything by his statement, and that he was just goofing around. I mean, it was his offseason, so he was probably high anyway.

Still, the statements caused enough of a stir that even Ron Artest felt the need to send a letter to the SACRAMENTO BEE sharing his thoughts on the situation. I don’t know about you, but anytime I do something and Ron Artest feels the need to come to my defense, I know I messed up. Which is probably why Josh suddenly feels the need to proclaim his love for America.

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