Le Olympics de Bullet Point: Let Us Relay News…

Breaking news! We are pleased to report that all 47 ailing participants in the women’s marathon in Beijing yesterday have recovered from collapsing and falling out of the race due to the excess inhalation of smog in the Rotten City. Many expect to be released from the hospital today. We’re thrilled no one died from breathing in the industrial air o…

Smog

(Alleged coverage of the women’s marathon?)

Wait, what? No one fell unconscious due to the icky smog beast? It was all an overreaction built up by mildly concerned athletes dropped in a Western media echo chamber? That’s unpossible!

Other unpossible events of the previous 24 Earth hours (give-take), including Michael Phelps, Michael Phelps, Brett Favre, and Michael Phelps.

MichaelPhelps.
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