Virus Outbreak Keeps Some USC Students Home

Watching last week’s loss to unranked Oregon State might have left a bad feeling in the stomach of USC student’s stomachs, but that stomach pain is nothing in comparison to the vomiting, diarrhea and stomach-cramping that might be dished out at the Coliseum tonight.

USC Song GIrl V for Victory

(V is for Victory Virus)

An outbreak of what is being described as a “highly contagious gastrointestinal virus” has hit the USC campus, leaving at least 75 students in the hospital for treatment. In a campus-wide email sent early Saturday morning, Professor Larwrence Neinstein, M.D warned students who do not feel well to “stay at home, take plenty of fluids, and not socialize until they are feeling better.” In regards to tonight’s game the professor states, “we would rather you watch it on television than chance infecting your fellow students.”    

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Speed Read: Time To Perform Last Rites On Cubs

Apparently, not even God can save the Cubs. The CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports that team brought in a priest to spread Holy Water on their bench before Game 1 to exorcise the demons of collapses past. But after last night’s wretched 10-3 loss to the Dodgers in Game 2, the Cubs look ready to call the priest back - this time to perform Last Rites.

Crying Cubs fan

How bad was it last night? How about every starting infielder making an error. Not the kind of night the Cubs needed when Carlos Zambrano decided to bring his less-than-A Game to the mound - more like his Z Game. The only bad news for the Dodgers was that Takashi Saito got shelled, giving up three hits and two runs without recording an out. Somehow I think the Dodgers will take the results.

Eva and Evan Longoria

In other playoff news, it turns out the Rays are pretty good after all. At least we know that Evan Longoria is. Tampa Bay’s rookie sensation became the second player in baseball history to smack homers in his first two post-season at-bats in the team’s 6-4 win over the White Sox. (The first? Gary Gaetti, now a coach with in the Rays’ farm system.) If almost-namesake Eva Longoria sent him champagne to celebrate the Rays’ playoff berth, what’s she going to get him now?

But it wasn’t all sunshine and roses in Tampa last night. As the Rays were doing something historic, the No. 10 South Florida football team was doing something familiar: getting upset on an ESPN Thursday night game. In this case it was Pittsburgh doing the honors, with Dave Wannstedt pulling of the type of victory that will somehow save his job after the team finishes 7-5.

As for other sports news, here’s what you missed while you were watching the Vice Presidential Debate and wondering if Joe Biden was wearing more make-up than Sarah Palin:

John Daly

What Chicago-area sports miracle has the best chance of happening?

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Unranked Ole Miss: “See You Later, Alligators!”

Guess you can go ahead and dub this “The Upset Special Week” in the world of collegiate pigskin. Following last Thursday’s stunning upset of the top-ranked and “33rd NFL team” USC by the vicious Beavers of Oregon State, another top 5 team got themselves knocked off by a gritty unranked team. Say goodnight, Florida Gators. Ole Miss just took your lunch money.

Ole Miss runs past Florida

(Jevan Snead dices up the Gator defense)

Yet, how did this come to pass?

Maybe the team got pumped because they were going for their 600th win in school history. Or perhaps they were enthused after seeing the two presidential candidates have a hearty debate at their own school the night before. Or maybe they all just got extra-angry once they heard the KKK was sullying up their campus.

Whatever the case, there was an extra something special in the air that let defensive lineman Kentrell Lockett jump over the hoarding mass of the Gator offensive line and block an extra point that would prove to be the game-winner.

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Oregon St. Topples Top-Ranked Trojans Yet Again

• Leave it to the Beavers: Once again, Oregon State shocks highly-ranked USC in Corvallis.

Oregon State USC

This is becoming quite a trend.

• But such a monumental upset is no comfort to OSU alum Steven Jackson, as the Rams RB is too busy lashing out at coach Scott Linehan.

Pat Summitt may be basketball’s all-time winningest coach, but the Lady Vols leader is no match when it comes to rasslin’ with raccoons.

• How melancholy is the Mariners’ clubhouse? One teammate of Ichiro openly talked about wanting to knock the Seattle star slugger out.

• Despite the Colts’ 1-2 record, Tony Dungy must still be pretty popular in Indianapolis - why else would someone return a credit card the coach left at a gas station?

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Speed Read: Is FirePeteCarroll.com Available?

Maybe Pete Carroll was right when he called the Pac-10 schedule “ridiculously difficult” - or the Trojans just had another epic meltdown against a far lesser opponent. Either way, the end result was a shocking 27-21 loss to Oregon State.  Yes, those Beavers. The same Beavers who lost to Penn State and Stanford by a combined 39 points.

Oregon State fans

You could look for goats in the game: defensive back Kevin Thomas, who let an interception in the end zone slip through his hands at the end of the first half and into the hands of James Rodgers. Or quarterback Mark Sanchez, who despite three touchdowns also threw a fourth-quarter interception that set up the eventually winning touchdown for the Beavers.

Mark Sanchez

But ultimately, blame has to go to one person: Pete Carroll. Yet again, the Trojans fell flat on their face against teams with far less talent. It’s the second time Oregon State has done it to USC, along with Stanford, UCLA…basically, any team that’s beaten USC since 2002 other than Texas.

The team came out flat and uninspired - a content, cocky team expecting to win because they were USC. (and as the LA TIMES’ FABULOUS FORUM points out, maybe celebrating a touchdown to close to 21-7 isn’t such a great idea, Ronald Johnson.) And the coaching staff was incapable of adjusting until halftime, when they had dug themselves too deep of a hole. But really, who could have seen this being anything but a Trojans blowout. Except maybe for Brooks right before the game:

I like the Beavers and the points tonight, which means I’ll be laughing in about two hours, or waist-deep into my sixth Boilermaker* at Coach & Horses around 12 bells.

…or our own Jason K. in the USC/Ohio State Live Brog two weeks ago:

“And Mark will have plenty of time to recuperate, as USC doesn’t take the field again until Thursday, September 25, when they travel to Oregon State. But remember what happened the last time the Trojans took a trip to Corvallis - a 33-31 shocker.”

Far less of a shock is that the Los Angeles Dodgers finally clinched the NL West title, thanks to the Diamondbacks’ 12-3 thumping by the Cardinals. Now Los Angeles’ notoriously fickle sports fans can forget about USC’s collapse and focus on the Dodgers in the playoffs - until they lose in four games to some team like the Cubs. But by that point, hey, isn’t the Lakers’ season starting?

The Dodgers’ clinching the NL West leaves three playoff spots to be decided: the AL Central race between the Twins and the White Sox, and the Phillies/Mets/Brewers mess for the NL East and/or Wild Card.

The Mets and the Brewers remained tied for the Wild Card, both winning in dramatic fashion: New York using a ninth-inning single by Carlos Beltran for a 6-5 victory over the Cubs, while Milwaukee knocked off the Pirates 5-1 on Ryan Braun’s two-out grand slam in the tenth. The Phillies could only sit home idle and watch their lead in the NL East shrink to one game.

Minnesota Twins celebrate

Meanwhile, the Twins and the White Sox also went ten innings. In this case, Minnesota put together a five-run rally of their own to win 7-6 to complete a series sweep of Chicago and take the AL Central lead for the first time in a month. Even worse, the White Sox seem to be imploded, as the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES reports that Orlando Cabrera seems intent on destroying team chemistry as he heads out of town.

Other late-breaking news last night, straight from the sports desk of Tank McNamara:

Eva Longoria

What was the biggest upset so far in 2008?

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Speed Read: Phillie Phanatic’s Weiners Blown Up

Another night, another Mets collapse: this time they blew a four-run lead before falling 9-6 to the Cubs in 10 innings. Combine that with CC Sabathia pitching a gem on short rest to lift the Brewers to a 4-2 win over the Pirates and you’ve got a tie for the NL Wild Card. Instead of buying seats as souvenirs when the season is over, Mets fans might just be ripping them apart in disgust after another late-season collapse.

Bomb Squad t-shirt

The Phillies lost, too, but even more troubling, as the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS reports, was this: the Philadelphia Police Department bomb squad blew up the hot dogs the Phillie Phanatic shoots into crowds between innings, after someone called in about a suspicious package. They were hardly a danger to the public, unless you count the nitrates, fat and sodium. But this is Philadelphia, the home of the cheese steak - when it comes to food leading to heart attacks, hot dogs are the least of their concerns.

Peter Lalich Virginia Cavaliers QB

Former Virginia starting QB Peter Lalich strikes me as a fan of cheese steaks. And hot dogs. And whatever else he can find when he’s hammered. Even though he was just kicked out of school for underage drinking, COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK notes that it didn’t take long for him to land on his wobbly feet: he’s already enrolled at Oregon State, and will be eligible to play next season.

Why did Lalich choose the Beavers? Perhaps he thought that Dennis Erickson was still the head coach and he needed a new drinking buddy. Or maybe OSU wanted some advance scouting for their game against USC tonight, since he started against them the opening weekend. Although I’m guessing any notes he gave to Coach Mike Riley weren’t very useful:

“Dear Coach: Their defense hits really hard. It hurts to play them, especially when you’re nursing a wicked hangover from Dollar PBR night at Snooker’s.”

Matt Millen

Also landing on his feet quickly: fired Lions GM Matt Millen. Actually, it’s more like “gently floating to Earth on a golden parachute” as MLIVE.COM reports that Detroit could be on the hook for the his entire $50 million contract after letting him go. Judging by this photo found by DEADSPIN, you would hope that he could afford a riding lawnmower with that giant wad of cash.

The Wall stadium

  • WITH LEATHER has designs on the world’s first underground stadium, currently being built in Qatar. No truth that the rumor that the Raiders’ home field of the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum is underground: it’s just the coach who is being buried six feet under.
  • CBS 4 DENVER has Broncos’ lineman Kenny Peterson trying to get a side mount on reporter Kathy Lee. Don’t get any ideas, creeps - they were learning Jiu-Jitsu for a story. Needless to say, he fared better against her than the black belt trainer.
  • T.J. Simers of the LOS ANGELES TIMES highlights some good deeds by Manny Ramirez - and pimps this very site!
  • WASHINGTONIAN.COM interviews Trader Joe’s cheese buyer turned DC SPORTS BOG writer Dan Steinberg, who gives his opinions on everything from Gilbert Arenas to Jim Zorn’s magic dust to beer.
  • Is Andy Pettitte done as a Yankee? The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS wonders that after the team announces he’s done for the season with a bum left shoulder. If only there was some way he could take something to help him get stronger and recover faster between starts…
  • The DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports about an ex-women’s basketball player at SMU who is suing the school and head coach Rhonda Rompola for pulling her scholarship after she complained about inappropriate comments and questions the coach allegedly made about her lesbian sex life.
  • MMA EXPERTS BLOG is ready to take Gina Carano to the mat for calling a press conference to complain about all the attention she’s receiving. Because posing for men’s magazines while wearing practically nothing and starring in American Gladiators while … well … wearing practically nothing is a great way to avoid being noticed.
  • MOUTHPIECE SPORTS notes that even though none of the players from the original RBI Baseball Nintendo game are still playing, seven of the teams are still playing in the same stadiums. Of course, every stadium in RBI Baseball looked like a more generic Three Rivers Stadium, so take that at face value.
  • HOME RUN DERBY wonders if the Cubbies aren’t tempting fate by already having World Series tickets printed up.
  • The Oakland A’s haven’t decided to unveil new uniforms to court the alternative lifestyle crowd in the Bay Area: SF GATE reports that the rookies were forced to dress in drag for the team’s final road trip to Seattle. Almost but not quite as nightmare-inducing as the Padres as Hooters girls, but close.

Hot dogs plus the bomb squad might be a mess, but is the pinnacle of exploding goodness?

What disgusting item would you want to see the bomb squad blow up?

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Blog Jam: Everything’s All White For Reggie & Kim

• RIGHTFIELDERS listens intently, as Kim Kardashian does all the talking for Reggie Bush while the duo hosted an all-white party in the Hamptons.

Reggie Bush Kim Kardashian all white

The locale makes sense for such a segregated shindig. Oh, wait - they meant that all the guests were wearing white. Our faux pas.

• Even though she didn’t claim the checkered flag at Indy, BABES IN SPORTSLAND still thinks Milka Duno is a winner.

• The FEMININE FAN races along news that Yao Ming held a moment of silence before Sunday’s Coca Cola 600 for earthquake victims in China.

• Holy Hot Stove! HOME RUN DERBY flips through the pages to see some comic book superheroes taking a swing at baseball.

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12-Yr-Old Girl Banned From Boys’ Hoops League

There’s a twelve-year old girl in Oregon that’s already received a full scholarship offer to play basketball at Oregon State.

Jaime Nared girls basketball

For a year, Jaime Nared played basketball with the boys in her age group. And then she was kicked off the team. Read more…

Boomer Misses Cut On ESPN’s Masters Coverage

How about giving *us* a gift basket to work full-time in the Big Apple?

Chris Berman’s not covering The Masters. We wonder why.

Chris Berman

• Funnyman Adam Carolla has a new film out. Yippee.

Tiger Woods is good, but can he be Byron Nelson good?

• Having a nice chat with the Tampa soccer streaker.

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College World Series MVP Busts Caps, Arrested

Oregon State flame thrower Jorge Reyes is in trouble with the law along with a teammate after shooting up a neighbor’s fence, car and house, reports the CORVALLIS GAZETTE-TIMES. Reyes, the 2007 College World Series MVP, is charged with unlawful use of a firearm, a Class C felony.

Oregon State baseball player Jorge Reyes

Police and neighbors say this was more than just pitch and catch target practice. “One shot went through my bedroom window, ricocheted off the wall and landed on my bed,” a neighbor told the Gazette-Times.

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