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The OJ Simpson saga has finally come to a fitting conclusion (unless there’s appeals - oh God, spare us the appeals), as judge Jackie Glass handed down a 15-year prison sentence to the former running back and actor.
(”Welp, time to hit the ol’ dusty trail…”)
That’s 15 years for 12 charges, including such delightful acts as kidnapping, armed robbery, and a host of other things you’re really not allowed to do with a deadly weapon.
You know, I always liked that O.J. Simpson fellow. The great football career, the Hertz commercials, his unforgettable turn as Nordberg in the Naked Gun movies. Then, I just kinda lost track of him somewhere around, say, 1994. I’ve always wondered what he’s been up to. Now I come to find out he’s on trial for some sort of armed robbery shenanigans. Scandal!
The prosecution is out to show that O.J. just might be capable of doing something illegal. Juice says he was just collecting some of his own possessions…by setting up a vigilante-style sting at a Vegas hotel. There were thugs, guns, tape recordings, guys named “C.J.” and “Bruce.” This was all very sophisticated.
