The last time we heard from Chris Johnson - no, not the one on the Titans with “gettin’ away from cops speed,” the one on the Raiders - he was too busy drawing bullcrap penalties for praising the Lord after an interception. Seriously, that was a steaming plate of C-R-A-P, and we’re glad the league apologized.

(”THANK YOU JESUS BUT I KIND OF HAD BIGGER ASPIRATIONS SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THOSE LATER TODAY OKAY THANKS AGAIN BYE BYE”)

Johnson’s probably going to need God again, and he’s going to need Him for a serious, universe-altering favor.  Parting the Red Sea? Feh. Planting dinosaur bones to make atheists think the Earth is old? Child’s play. Creating the universe and everything in it? Ho-hum. God’s got much bigger problems to work out now: like making the Raiders run the table and make the playoffs this season.

Read more…

And now, more punchy fun involving the Oakland Raiders, this time without Tom Cable. You may remember Jeremy Brigham (below) as a tight end for the Raiders from 1998-2001 (if so you have a good memory — he scored three career touchdowns). He now lives in the peaceful, leafy Northern California enclave of Pleasanton, where he coaches a youth football team of 9- and 10-year-olds.

Today, however, Brigham is under investigation by Pleasanton police for allegedly beating up his assistant coach, who is now in a neck brace. Brigham supposedly attacked the coach because he thought he had leaked the team’s plays to another team after he had fired him. Then it gets weird. Read more…

Sunday in San Diego, the Chargers beat the Raiders for the 13th straight time, a bitter pill for the legions of SoCal Raider fans who made the annual journey south from (East) Los Angeles.

(NFL apparently is like Vegas to J-Russ and Cable: A game of “chance”)

With the lossthe Raiders dropped to 2-6, their playoff hopes out the window.

But despite Sunday’s result and the season’s circumstances, JaMarcus Russell wasn’t displeased with himself after the Charger loss. Nor was his coach. Read more…

A San Diego bail bonds company had a TV ad done up specifically for this week. One guess why:

(One guess which frame I threw in there.)

Video after the jump. Read more…

ESPN’s Outside The Lines reports this morning that three different women in Tom Cable’s life have accused the Raiders Coach of physical abuse in public document filings.

This morning ESPN aired on-camera comments from Cable’s first wife Sandy, as she accused the coach of punching her in the jaw during their marriage. Another woman, Marie Lutz, a woman that Cable dated before marrying his third wife (Carol) in May, also accused Cable of striking her in the face. Cable’s second wife Glenda, who receives a five-figure child support payment from Cable each month, disputed her previously documented abuse charge.

After ESPN aired the allegations, Cable quickly fired off a response which was read post-haste by Bob Ley on-air. Read more…

If this isn’t an indication of how far the Raiders’ franchise has fallen, I don’t know what is.

(Rex Ryan has officially put his signature on the Jets)

Mark Sanchez was seen eating a hot dog (with mustard) on the sidelines during the Jets 38-0 rout at Oakland yesterday.

Video after the jump. Read more…

So the talk of the NFL this week was the Oakland Raiders’ unlikely win over the Philadelphia Eagles, and more specifically, the pigeon which appeared to fly along with the Raiders’ special teams unit for one play during a kickoff return. Several Oakland players are now saying that it was no coincidence that the bird looked so comfortable on the play. It just may have been, they say, the ghost of deceased teammate Marquis Cooper.

Cooper, a linebacker and special teams player for the Raiders, was lost at sea in a tragic boating accident in March, and is presumed dead. Oakland running back Justin Fargas, who was close to Cooper, told a Sacramento radio station this morning that their fallen teammate is never far from their hearts, and when they saw the pigeon appearing to cover a kickoff, many had the same thought. Read more…

One might think that Michael Vick protesters and Oakland Raiders fans would be natural allies — the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and so forth. But one would be wrong. Animal rights advocates and Raider Nation angrily went at each other outside of the Coliseum on Sunday prior to the Eagles game, almost coming to blows.

Yeah, lost in all the commotion over the Raiders’ unlikely 13-9 victory over Philadelphia, we almost forgot that it was Vick’s first NFL road game since returning from his federally mandated vacation. So the Bay Area group In Defense of Animals had organized a little welcoming committee, with about 30 people on hand to protest Vick’s refusal to visit some of his rescued pit bulls, which are now being rehabilitated by the organization. Read more…

Yesterday, during Oakland’s somewhat surprising upset of the Philadelphia Eagles, a stray pigeon found a moment of fame when it landed on the field before a kickoff, then provided as real an approximation of kickoff coverage as you’ll ever see a bird demonstrate. Video - which we can’t believe hasn’t been taken down yet - is after the break.

(Oh sure, he looks harmless now…)

Normally, it’s not exactly big news when an animal gets onto the field; sometimes,  play is halted while players and staff shoo the animal away, sometimes we just ignore it. And sometimes Dave Winfield kills it for fun. But the Oakland Football Pigeon wanted to be part of the game, and a giggling Sam Rosen and Tim Ryan were all too happy to share in the moment.

Read more…

Tim Kawakami of the SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS reports this morning:

Something could happen tomorrow. We don’t know what the Napa Valley DA will do, and there are plenty of conflicting indications, but it’s possible the DA announces that he will press charges against Tom Cable.

If that happens, it’s almost certain that Al Davis would either suspend or fire Cable with cause. (Though the real cause would be the JaMarcus Russell Offense’s continued fizzle.)

Cable has repeatedly denied that he seriously assaulted Hanson, saying instead that the two had a brief scuffle. But there’s no denying that Hanson’s jaw is broken, something that can’t be explained away. Read more…