India’s Utter Insanity Over Sania’s Pseudo Slight

Those of you who enjoyed the death and destruction wrought by Muslims over the cartoon depictions of Islam in Denmark can now get excited over a somewhat similar freakout in India.

Sania Mirza Photos

THE AUSTRALIAN reports today that “INDIAN sport is facing a fierce new controversy as ultra-nationalists targeted rising tennis star Sania Mirza after she was photographed at the Hopman Cup in Perth with her bare feet on a table alongside the national flag.

It would be an amusing story if it wasn’t so sad. Especially when you see the photo.

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Jaguars’ Official Site Affixes Asterisk On Patriots

We’ve generally found pretty worthless from an editorial standpoint, since those churning out the content either work for the NFL or the individual teams. So the stories you’re likely to get are akin to something out of a high school student newspaper.

Jaguars Power Rankings Patriots Asterisk

But we now stand corrected, considering this piece of provocative editorial content put out by the Jacksonville Jaguars on their official website this week. Like every other website not nailed down, the NFL-sponsored site puts out weekly NFL power ranking from someone named Vic Ketchum.

This week’s power rankings have the Patriots, the Jags opponent in a Saturday playoff game, at #1, with an accompanying asterisk that says “cheated in one game“.

We suppose it’s a good thing Ketchum won’t be suiting up on the Jax punt team at Gillette in two days.

(Pointer from THE WORLD OF ISAAC)

UPDATE: The page was removed off the live site 27 minutes after we posted this. Here’s the google cache of the page, just in case you think we were fibbing.

New Jersey Nets Season Has Turned To Staches

Jason Kidd finally found a way to stir up some buzz about his forever .500 New Jersey Nets, by growing whatever this is under his nose:

Jason Kidd Mustache

ESPN, to its credit, finally broke something first, by hammering Kidd immediately for his follicular folly. We ourselves really don’t know how to describe the mustache, but if the Lawry’s seasoned salt company was ever to cast a pencil-thin mustachioed chef in a commercial, we think you could throw a poofy lid on Kidd and you’d be in business.

While plenty of other media outlets have since mentioned Kidd’s questionable grooming habits, the AMERICAN MUSTACHE INSTITUTE has the last word on the subject, by *angrily lashing out* at the press this week over the coverage.

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Blogga-Roni: FSU Nixing Tix For Cutting Class?

• The BIG LEAD has a posting from a Florida State sports fansite that claims students who skip class will have their FSU football tickets taken away (and miss this next to you in the student section):

Florida State Hotties

Adam Rose of the LOS ANGELES TIMES reviews the entire Reggie Bush book penned by Don Yaeger, and reports there’s plenty of dirt to be hauled.

Tom Brady

• TMZ has the most emasculating moment of Tom Brady’s life - recorded to video. *fist punch*

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Our One & Only Fun American Gladiators Moment

Yes, we know, the new American Gladiators blew, but we did watch the show because our drinking buddy friend Jeff Keller was one of the contestants. And bless his soul, he was behind the one and only entertaining segment of the show:

Jeff Keller American Gladiator

Sadly, Jeff lost to someone who called himself “Spider Monkey”, so he’s inside for awhile (we kid).

The funniest part of the show was when the painfully overscripted Hulk Hogan laid out the rules at the beginning, and revealed that the winning contestant of the first season would be a gladiator for the second season. While we seriously doubt there will be a second season, we’d do anything to see a “Spider Monkey” character on the show. Sure beats the lardass broads they brought in for this new edition. And “Malibu“:

Malibu American Gladiators

(Where Have You Gone, Mike Adamle?)

Fan Vomits On Heat TV Announcer During Game

The low point of the NBA season was probably Tuesday night, as the teams with the worst records in the league, Miami and Minnesota, squared off in Minneapolis.

Miami Heat Head Art

The 8-27 Heat, playing without Shaquille O’Neal and with a still-injured Dwyane Wade lost to the 5-29 TWolves 101-91. Miami, just two years removed from an NBA title, has now lost eight straight games.

But as Tom D’Angelo of the PALM BEACH POST reports, “As bad as the night was for the Heat, it could have been worse.” And believe us, D’Angelo is spot-on. Literally.

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1st Augusta National Female Member For 100, Alex

“Critical Fanatic” at has the video most of us haven’t seen - Kelly Tilghman making her inadvisable crack about “lynching” Tiger Woods.

Kelly Tilghman

The post also has launches this amusing blast: ” If you had Kelly Tilghman in your ‘First Female Member of Augusta Pool,’ go ahead and pat yourself on the back.

We now know our Whoopi Goldberg first round selection was a bit of a reach.

Green Bay Makes Josh Brown’s Pants Feel Funny

Josh Brown Seattle Seahawks Kicker

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that Seattle Seahawks kicker Josh Brown will have a novel way to combat the cold in Green Bay during Saturday’s playoff game against the Packers.

Brown will wear heated warm-up pants” that are installed with “battery-powered heaters for the calves, thighs and hamstrings.”

Brown told KIRO Radio that “no matter how low the temperature drops his legs will be 75 degrees“.

If only we had the same luxury when first approaching a girl in a bar on the Sunset Strip.

Photos: From Fightin’ Phils To La Cage Aux Folles

We know the MLB rookie hazing photos have made the rounds the last few months, and they’ve gotten a little tired. But BUGS & CRANKS uncovers a cache of photos deserving of our attention.

Phillies Rookie Hazing

They are from the Phillies this past season, and we must say that we’re in awe of the time, effort and detail that went into the costuming.

Phillies Rookie Hazing Photos

Now if we can only get a space cadet suit to be broken out by Darren Daulton at the Phils’ next old-timers game.

Who Knew A “Harem” Could Heal Shaq’s Bum Hip?

Pat Riley appeared on WAXY-AM in Miami today to say that Shaquille O’Neal is flying to Los Angeles today to have his injured hip examined. The Heat have been an unmitigated disaster this season, and O’Neal’s drop in production is probably most to blame for the club’s appalling performance.

Shaq Kazaam

So O’Neal, who has suffered a major injury every season for nearly a decade, is back on the shelf. Riley though somehow found a way to defend The Big Ingrate: “You know how proud he is? The man? The is absolutely killing him that he’s not out on the court and his team’s not winning. He can’t perform and he’s being second-guessed by everybody at this stage of his career. … He’s one of our great assets. He’s down to 321 pounds … he’s doing everything he can do to get healthy.

It’s understandable that Riley is still trying to pretend that Shaq has some value left in his blubber-ravaged body. He’d love to dump The Big Crispy off on a contending team, unloading the $40M the Heat still owe O’Neal and clearing cap space to start rebuilding. But his claim that O’Neal is doing whatever he can to get healthy is truly a whopper, even for Riley. Witness the juicy, sex-charged item about Shaq in today’s PAGE SIX.

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