A Most Unfortunate Headline For Red Wings Fans

If you are a Detroit Red Wings fan, this is not funny. If you like any of the other 29 teams in the NHL, this is uproariously funny.

Detroit Red Wings Are Not Straight

Yes, if we’re reading that headline from ESPN.COM correctly, Nicklas Lidstrom and Henrik Zetterberg (above), um, “have an announcement to make.” Hell of a breakthrough story, if you ask us.

Of course, if Lidstrom and Zetterberg really are hairstylists for each other, that would be especially shocking news to Zetterberg’s girlfriend Emma Andersson, whom we are contractually obligated to post after the break.

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Idiotic NHL All-Star Rule Punishes Injured Stars

It’s not like you needed more evidence that Gary Bettman is the worst commissioner in professional sports, which is a title with stiff competition. But now we learn about the NHL’s latest senseless policy, which will cause two Red Wings stars to be suspended for a game because they’re not attending tomorrow’ All-Star game to rest their injuries.

Gary Bettman

Pavel Datsyuk and Nicklas Lidstrom will miss the first game after the break, because they chose to spend this week-long respite getting healthy. The policy is in place because too many stars in recent years have skipped the All-Star game, and the NHL desperately needs exposure the few times it gets on network TV. But to force them to play a meaningless game in the middle of a grueling season, when the Stanley Cup often goes to the healthiest team? That’s just — well, that’s just what we’d expect from a league that just doesn’t get it.

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Blog-O-Rama: NFL Game Caller Charlie Jones Dies

Tom Hoffarth of FARTHER OFF THE WALL is sad to see the passing of legendary NFL broadcaster Charlie Jones.

Charlie Jones NFL broadcaster

• DEADSPIN punches up rumors that Mike Tyson had ordered a hit on the guy who killed his bodyguard.

• MR. IRRELEVANT informs us that Jamie Mottram is leaving “Blog Show“. Well, once you’ve had Erin Andrews, what else is there?

• WHO ATE ALL THE PIES finds this year’s Pulitzer winner: A German Euro 2008 reporter running late for his flight decides to call in a bomb threat.

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