Professional athletes lead different lives than the rest of us. They travel incessantly and don’t see their families for weeks at a stretch. Strangers ask them to sign scraps of paper and hold their babies for a round of pictures. Their careers end before they turn 40, leaving them ill-prepared for a world that doesn’t need a left-handed ball hurler.

And, if the Baltimore Orioles are any measure, someone’s constantly shoving guns in their faces, forcing many of them to carry concealed weapons most anywhere that doesn’t require a uniform with stirrups.

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