NFL Fans Get Less Beer, College Fans Get More

Alcohol and sports - few things in life go so damn well together as these two glorious, delicious, life-sustaining substances. During the fall and winter months, entire weekends are devoted to the consumption of mass quantities of beer and football, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, dammit - this is America!

NFL Beer Helmet

But unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way. The NFL (NO FUN LEAGUE HARF HARF) is threatening our precious freedoms by restricting the size and number of beers fans can purchase at its stadiums this year, according to USA TODAY. What is this, Soviet Russia (where beer drinks YOU)? This aggression will not stand, man. Luckily for football fans wanting increased access to their sweet, sweet beer, Anheuser-Busch has a plan to increase sales in another football milieu.

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