8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
Back in the middle of April, I got a letter in the mail from Comcast. It told me that as a subscriber to their sports package that includes the NFL Network, they were going to offer me a deal. On May 1st of 2009 they were going to stop carrying the NFL Network because they were evil and trying to take all of my money from me, and Comcast didn’t want to stand for it. As a way of helping me recover from the raping of my wallet, they were going to give me a chance for faster internet for a year, or Starz free for a year.
Well, I already have the high-speed internet, so it looked like Starz was going to be my choice.
Now that I was happy to make it. After all, Comcast wasn’t treating my wallet very nicely either. Sure, the NFL Network wanted a couple bucks per household, but they weren’t the ones making me pay $10 a month for a package featuring the NFL Network, which I wanted, and a whole bunch of other channels I didn’t. So I was pretty unhappy about Comcast yanking the station I wanted, as I’m sure many NFL fans were. Well, thankfully I won’t be getting Starz anytime soon because both sides have come to an agreement.
Even with the Orlando Magic leading the Boston Celtics by 17 midway through the fourth quarter in Game 7 of their Eastern Conference semifinal, you may have had an uneasy feeling in your stomach that it was a big set-up to a massive, heartbreaking, Stan Van Gundy-firing collapse. Of course Boston was going to make a run - especially with Dwight Howard sitting with five fouls. The only question was how badly would the Magic collapse.
After all, they had blown a 14-point lead in Game 5 of the series, and almost let a 28-point cushion slip away in Game 1, so why not save the “best” for last? And sure enough, after Ray Allen hit a three-pointer with 4:12 to play, the Celtics had cut the lead to 12 and were poised to make something happen. So, of course, there was only one man the Magic could turn to in their hour of need.
That’s right, Mr. Pizza Man himself, Hedo Turkoglu. Maybe the grease on his fingers from his pregame meal of pizza put extra spin on the ball, but he was out of his mind in Game 7, especially when the Magic needed him most. He responded to Allen’s three-pointer with one of his own, and then hit a fallaway jumper on the next possession to get the lead back to 17. Maybe he’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and pizza is his spinach?
After that, it was time for the Celtics to pull Allen and Paul Pierce for a final round of applause, and bring in the scrubs. (Otherwise known as “Gabe Pruitt Time!”) As for the Magic, they haven’t been this far since the Shaq and Penny days, so you can excuse the people of Orlando if they don’t exactly act like they’ve been there before.
So the NBA didn’t get the Cavaliers vs. Celtics match-up they were craving, but their consolation prize is nice: the most dominant big man in the game (Dwight Howard) vs. the most dominant anything in the game (LeBron James). As for Bron-Bron and the Cavaliers, you can see that they were clearly concerned about who they would play:
Let’s see Van Gundy draw up a defense for that.
As the NBA’s reigning champs were dethroned, the current NFL champs get ready to enjoy one of their spoils on Thursday: the traditional meeting with the President in front of the White House. But NFL Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison won’t be joining them. No, he doesn’t have a pressing personal emergency, and it’s not a political protest. His reason is a little more complex than that:
“This is how I feel — if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, he [Obama] would’ve invited Arizona if they had won,” said Harrison.
So let me get this straight: Harrison is upset because he thinks that Barack Obama is playing favorites and only inviting the Steelers because they won the Super Bowl and not because he’s their biggest fan? Apparently he didn’t see the bitchin’ helmet tattoo that the President got before the playoffs, or the new paint modifications he made to Air Force One once he took office:
Finally, the Stanley Cup playoffs started their conference finals on Sunday, and the Detroit Red Wings gave the upstart Chicago Blackhawks a welcome to big time hockey with a 5-2 thumping in Game 1 of their series. But the big story was almost something far darker, as the Blackhawks’ Adam Burish narrowly escaped a Richard Zednik/Clint Malarchuk moment when his neck was clipped by the skate of teammate Ben Eager.
Unlike the other two players, Burish only received a minor nick that didn’t require stitches. Still, he knows how lucky he was:
“I don’t know how my head was still connected there,” Burish said. “I saw his skate. It was like he did a figure skating move. He lifted his skate up and I just watched it go over my neck.”
If only they made some sort of device that could protect hockey players in case a blade happens to catch them in the neck. A “neck protector,” if you will. But I guess that’s just crazy talk.
THE STATE says South Carolina baseball player Casey Rihn allegedly learned the hard way why you don’t keep hitting the back of a police car with your hands when you are walking around drunk at 2 a.m.: you can wind up arrested after the cop in your car turns your face into Hamburger Helper on the ground.
I guess that Usain Bolt’s OK after the foot surgery following his car crash: The AP says that in his first meet back in Manchester, England, he set the world record in the 150 meters at 14.35. Yeah, he even has the world record for a race no one runs now.
Walls? After you’ve been through the kind of hell Josh Hamilton has, walls are nothing. Actually, the DALLAS MORNING NEWS says that the wall was a pretty decent adversary for the Rangers’ outfielder, as he suffered a mild groin strain while making a game-saving catch against the Angels.
Dear Bruno Junqueira: Thanks for qualifying our car for the Indianapolis 500 - we really appreciate it. But we hope you don’t mind that we’re pulling you from the ride and replacing you with Alex Tagliani. It’s nothing personal - it’s just that he’s our main driver and all, and he failed to qualify. Best, Conquest Racing. P.S. Please return your driving suit to us by 5 p.m. or you lose the deposit.
Manchester United wrapped up the English Premier League crown this weekend, but the biggest story might be the plight of former soccer heavyweights Newcastle United. As the TELEGRAPH reports, their 1-0 loss to Fulham puts them on the edge of relegation to soccer’s minor leagues, as they need a win in their final game to stay in the EPL.
NFL fans who don’t get the NFL Network might finally be in luck: SI’s Peter King says that the league is closing in on a deal with Comcast to make the network available on the regular digital cable package. Finally, I won’t have to pay a premium for my daily dose of Rich Eisen.
TROY NUNES IS AN ABSOLUTE MAGICIAN sat down with new Syracuse football coach Doug Marronefor an interview, but not during breakfast if their arteries know what’s good for them. After all, Marrone claims that he once ate “42 pancakes with two sticks of butter…or a stick and half of butter…no, two sticks of butter and a thing and a half of maple syrup. I take pride in what I can eat.”
As if the Colorado Rockies didn’t have enough problems with the Pittsburgh Pirates taking two of three against them over the weekend, BUGS & CRANKS says that they even had to dodge bats kicked at them by the umps.
It was apparently “Dress Like A Banana Day” in San Francisco for the Giants’ game against the Mets, but THE SPORTS HERNIA says that Jon Miller was the only person in the ESPN broadcast booth to get the memo:
What’s more American than baseball? The CHARLOTTE OBSERVER has an answer: beer and baseball. Since a local ordinance was changed allowing them to sell beer on Sundays, the minor league Charlotte Knights have seen attendance for Sunday home games go up by 30 percent.
“Who Wants to be a Millionaire” returns to ABC this summer for an eleven-episode “event”: Regis Philbin will reprise his role as America’s money tease in hopes of attracting eyeballs inexpensively with otherwise mundane content presented breathlessly.
(”… and that’s how I parlayed a ridiculous catchphrase into a house in the Hamptons and a production shingle at Sony. Now go get ‘em, Irish!”)
Of course, ABC smothered the franchise a decade ago by discovering they had a massive hit almost accidentally and then riding Regis like a thoroughbred until the show collapsed from overexposure and shuffled off to syndication while Regis was sent back to his daypart pasture. However, programmers never learn, which is why ABC (via ESPN) and the NFL seem bent on ruining the NFL Draft by expanding it to three days and showing it in prime time.
As if we needed proof that the three months of journalistic masturbation that leads up to the NFL Draft is pointless, the first two rounds proved yet again that all the mock drafts and preparatory analysis does little — if anything — to make the draft day picture clearer for fans. In fact, if you go by the percentage of picks that ESPN’s Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay — and the NFL Network’s Mike Mayock — get right, you’d be convinced that you, too could be a highly paid NFL Draft analyst.
(Analysts on Sanchez: 33 percent right.)
How bad were they? Well, as you can see after the jump, there were only three picks in which all three analysts agreed on the selection … and in which they were correct. Mayock was significantly off throughout — largely because he picked the wrong spot for Sanchez, despite being closer to Sanchez’s actual selection than McShay — and McShay had moments where he completely failed to read between the line (despite the fact that both ESPN analysts cleverly adjusted their drafts to include a Chiefs pick of Tyson Jackson).
The PALM BEACH POST reports this week that a Florida man is in jail on $25k bail after being charged with stalking NFL sideline reporter Lindsay Soto.
According to court records, John Stewart Taylor, 37, of Wellington was charged with 41 counts of making harassing and obscene phone calls, and aggravated stalking. He’s being held on $25,000 bail.
Taylor, who was already in jail for a probation violation, was slapped with the charge after NFL Network officials contacted the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office about a “large amount” of obscene messages left on Soto’s voicemail.
And when they say large amount, they mean Rush Limbaugh-size large.
How large? Try 300 voice messages, according to court papers.
Taylor also was caught sending obscene emails to a Florida TV news anchor named Ashley Glass, who also happens to be a pretty blonde, like Soto.
How ironic is it that the giant nail in the coffin of John McCain’s Presidential hopes last night came when the networks declared Ohio for Barack Obama. After all, McCain appeared to run his campaign like Jim Tressel cluelessly bumbling his way through coaching Ohio State to another BCS Title Game meltdown. In this analogy, Obama really was LSU or Florida: faster, hungrier and ready to deliver a hellacious beatdown.
(Does this make Sarah Palin the Maurice Clarett of the ticket - initially exciting but eventually a total disaster? I’ll leave that up to you to decide.)
But while the Maverick of the Senate might have suffered an historic thumping on Tuesday night, the Mavericks of Dallas were taking a venerable but aging institution out to the woodshed, beating the Spurs 98-81 to drop San Antonio to 0-3 for the first time in the team’s NBA history. They can’t possibly be missing Manu Ginobli this much, could they?
And what about Matt Lindland, the MMA fighter who was the Republician candidate for a State House seat? Unfortunately for him, he was about as competitive as Kimbo Slice, as he fell to a double digit defeat at the hands of his Democratic opponent. I would have said that having a campaign manager named Tootie Smith was a bad sign, but then again…Scooter Libby.
On to the other, slightly less significant news:
Don’t tase him, bro! The TRI-CITY HERALD says that an Arena Football player was zapped by airport security after busting through a window at the terminal and getting on the tarmac trying to get to his flight. That’s called dedication.
The CHICAGO TRIBUNE breaks down the news that Illinois WR Jeff Cumberlandis going to play this week despite breaking teammate Mikel LeShoure’s jaw in a fight last Saturday night.
Do they have any decent sushi places in Atlanta? The ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION notes that the Braves have made an offer to 22-year-old Japanese pitching phenom Junichi Tazawa.
How far has the Tennesee football program fallen? The WINSTON SALEM JOURAL says that David Cutcliffe would rather stay at Duke than consider taking the Vols’ head coaching job.
The MOSCOW-PULLMAN DAILY NEWS reports that three Idaho football players have been suspended after being charged with battery after a fight at a house party this weekend. What do you expect from the players when you call the team the “Vandals?”
According to the LOS ANGELES TIMES, Oaks Christian High School - the school that has the sons of Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky and Will Smith - might be in trouble for advertising its athletic department on local TV. The ads were OK, but still better than Hancock.
BYU quarterback Max Hall tells the SALT LAKE TRIBUNE that he’ll be missing Thursday night’s huge Mountain West Conference game between Utah and TCU because he can’t miss The Office. And I thought Dwight Schrute was Amish and not Mormon.
Words like “winner” and “leader” that were up until very recently closely tied to Titans’ quarterback Vince Younghave quickly been replaced by: “suicide,” “crazy,” “shrink” and “quitter.” What a difference a week makes.
Just when it seemed like there we had all the Vince-sanity we could handle, PRO FOOTBALL TALK informs us that the Tennessee signal caller “wanted to stop playing at halftime” of last season’s AFC Wild Card game against the San Diego Chargers.
In the biggest game of his professional career, Vince Young wanted to quit at halftime. Read more…
We all remember last year’s failed strategy with the NFL NETWORK. When Roger Goodell had a game with an unbeaten Patriots squad and the eventual Super Bowl champion Giants playing in Week 17 on the Network, he had to have the worst of both worlds and allow CBS and NBC to simulcast the game under threat from Senators Arlen Specter and John Kerry.
The fans got a classic game on broadcast television (which wound up being a Super Bowl preview), but it wasn’t the business coup that Goodell & Co. had imagined (and did not come off well following Packers-Cowboys a few weeks earlier) since most of the games on the schedule (like Colts-Falcons) were forgettable and fans were carping about the good ones being on a channel very few could get.
Now, the L.A. TIMES relays news from the WALL STREET JOURNAL that the league is talking to ESPN about broadcasting that package of games that its own network was claiming all for itself.
The lead play-by-play announcer during the network’s first two years of existence is apparently hanging up the mike. In a released statement, Gumbel explains that he “thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity” to call games on NFLN, but added that he & the network “agreed that we’d all be better served going in different directions.”
Creative differences? Or a cute way to say you were canned? Either way, Bryant is bidding adieu. But it might have been his earlier comments about Gene Upshaw that could have paved the way for his eventual exit.
