Hermoine Cheats On Ron Weasly At Rangers Game

For those of you who haven’t seen any of the “Harry Potter” movies because you don’t have kids — or would rather rinse your eyes with bleach — may I remind you that Emma Watson is now over 18, and is quite hot? Thanks for your kind attention on this matter.

Emma Watson

She also attends Brown University, and was seen recently at a Rangers-Panthers game with boyfriend Rafael Cebrian. As BIG LEAGUE SCREW so eloquently put it: Screw that guy.

A couple more photos following the jump. Read more…

Sean Avery Discovers The Joy Of Sloppy Seconds

New York Ranger Sean Avery is generally known for being an annoying bastard, both on and off the ice. Whether he’s punching goalies in the head, going off on the opposing team’s fans, or talking about former girlfriends, Avery always seems to be in the middle of some controversy. You probably remember when Avery was suspended by the NHL last year for referring to ex-girlfriend and current flame of the Calgary Flames Dion Phaneuf, Elisha Cuthbert, as his “sloppy seconds”.

Sean Avery Hilary Rhoda

Well, as time passes and people grow, they can change.  Looking at somebody with Avery’s history it’s somewhat hard to believe he’s capable of changing, but he is.  Where as he used to be clearly opposed to the idea of sloppy seconds, now it seems he’s warming up to them. Though New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez isn’t likely to be thrilled by this news.

Read more…

Your Bonnaroo Correspondent Is, Um, Sean Avery

Hey brah! We’re at Bonnaroo! Sick lineup, man. Siiiiick. It’s so awesome to sit in lava-hot sunshine with 73,000% humidity and enough drugs to fly to Mars. WILCOOOOOOOO!!

Sean Avery
(Yep, he’s dressed perfectly for the festival.)

Wait a second, homeskizzle. Who’s that I see over there? Maybe it’s the drugs talking, but I think I see… Amelia Earhart! Ha ha, no way man! Wait a second, that probably is the drugs, because she’s riding an horned ostrich made of fire. I’m so high. But wait, who’s that then? Broheimer, I think I see Sean Avery. And it’s not the drugs talking! What the hell is Sean Avery doing at Bonnaroo? Read more…

Tortorella Suspended For Potential Final Game

Well, you don’t see this every day. Some 24 hours after he was caught on camera throwing a water bottle at an innocent Washington fan, New York Rangers coach John Tortorella was suspended for Game 6 of the teams’ first round series by the NHL. In case you lost track, the Rangers lead that series 3-2, which means that Tortorella could miss the decisive game because of a water bottle toss.

john tortorella rangers

(Don’t worry John, you can go hockey casual all day Sunday.)

We have no record of other hockey coaches being suspended for potential decisive games, but there’s really no more fitting sport for such a ridiculous turn of events to follow. Clearly, this was a punishment ticketed for Lou Pinella or Pat Riley, and somehow a guy who openly advocated for Sean Avery to be banned, then came back to coach him within months, got the envelope instead.

Read more…

N.Y. Rangers Coach Tortorella Fights Caps Fans

The first round playoff series between the Capitals and Rangers has been getting testy, with desperate Caps fans frustrated beyond belief that their team is still struggling to win a playoff series. Well, in the midst of a season-saving blowout of New York on Friday, fans were laying the verbal abuse — and maybe something else — on Rangers coach John Tortorella, who decided he’d had just about enough.

john tortorella rangers

That’s when Tortorella took things into his own hands, turning around and confronting the Washington fans after someone reportedly tossed a beer on his head. He threw a water bottle into the stands and grabbed a stick, pointing it at the fans and threatening a charge out of the coaches box before being restrained by assistant coach Jim Schoenfeld. If it sounds too crazy to believe, just check out the video after the jump.

Read more…

Sean Avery Greets Caps Goalie with Punch to Face

Some things in sports never change - like Sean Avery’s penchant for taking swings at opposing goalies. Earlier this month, the naughty New York Ranger was caught clocking Boston Bruins netminder Tim Thomas in the back of the head with his stick.

Sean Avery punches Caps goalie Simeon Varlamov

And now with the NHL playoffs in full force, you might think Avery might soften his act a bit, so as not to distract from his team’s goal of Stanley Cup glory. And you would be very wrong. (Video after the jump.)

Read more…

Back To Old Tricks, Avery Clocks Goalie’s Head

It was only a matter of time until Rangers enforcer/resident bad guy Sean Avery re-asserted himself as a resident enforcer/bad guy. Now we know that the gestation period for Avery to get back to his old tricks was one month, with the instigator clocking Boston goalie Tim Thomas on the head after a stoppage of play 31 days after re-joining the Rangers.

sean avery video shot rangers

It was a pretty lowball move, particularly since he pulled it off in classic Sean Avery style; by being overtly brash and then pretending he didn’t do anything at all. Naturally, because he chose to attack Thomas, one of the more fiery goalies in the league, he didn’t get away with it. Not only did Avery get a full recompense from Thomas, he earned himself a penalty in the process, which is standard operating procedure for his gimmicks.

Read more…

Stars Who Were Cheerleaders; D.R. Done In WBC

• Always dreamed of Eva Longoria in a cheerleader’s outfit? Here you go!

Eva Longoria cheerleader

• The Dominican Republic gets dealt a death blow by the Dutch. And here’s the skipper who helped bounce Felipe Alou & Co. from the WBC.

• Q: What’s a life worth? A: The 17th pick in the 2nd round of the NHL Draft.

Dwight Freeney gets an offseason job as Dr. Phil’s limo driver.

• NFL backup QB Drew Olson loses golf tourney to a 14-year-old. Drew, don’t quit your day job.

Read more…

Dead NHL Prospect Is A Horrific Bargaining Chip

Generations of doctors and philosophers have striven to answer one question: What’s a life worth? Thankfully, the NHL figured out the answer: the 17th pick in the second round.

Alexei Cherepanov


Alexei Cherepanov
was the Rangers’ first round draft pick who died suddenly last year from — well, Russia’s doing the investigation, so we don’t really know why he died. New York insisted, with some pretty heartless arguments, that they were due a pick this year to make up for their failing to find Cherepanov’s bum ticker. So the NHL said, “sorry about the loss of your prospect. Here’s some flowers, a cheese plate, and a compensatory draft pick.”

Will that be enough to satisfy the Rangers, who demand blood for blood?

Read more…

Which Swedish Sports Star Willing To Go Topless?

There are times when it’s a blog’s duty to just report the news, with no frills. A Joe Friday-esque “just the facts.”  Just quick and dirty and telling you what you need to know about the world. Then there are times when the blog really, really justs wants the clicks.

Silhouette

That’s why I’m not going to tell you which hot Swedish athlete said they’re willing to pose topless until after the jump. But trust me, it’s a major sex symbol who’s not too bad at their chosen profession either. Wow, isn’t the anticipation killing you? OK, check out the sultry Swede who’s not above showing a little skin, after the jump.

Read more…