New York Ranger Sean Avery is generally known for being an annoying bastard, both on and off the ice. Whether he’s punching goalies in the head, going off on the opposing team’s fans, or talking about former girlfriends, Avery always seems to be in the middle of some controversy. You probably remember when Avery was suspended by the NHL last year for referring to ex-girlfriend and current flame of the Calgary Flames Dion Phaneuf, Elisha Cuthbert, as his “sloppy seconds”.

Well, as time passes and people grow, they can change.  Looking at somebody with Avery’s history it’s somewhat hard to believe he’s capable of changing, but he is.  Where as he used to be clearly opposed to the idea of sloppy seconds, now it seems he’s warming up to them. Though New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez isn’t likely to be thrilled by this news.

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Hey brah! We’re at Bonnaroo! Sick lineup, man. Siiiiick. It’s so awesome to sit in lava-hot sunshine with 73,000% humidity and enough drugs to fly to Mars. WILCOOOOOOOO!!

(Yep, he’s dressed perfectly for the festival.)

Wait a second, homeskizzle. Who’s that I see over there? Maybe it’s the drugs talking, but I think I see… Amelia Earhart! Ha ha, no way man! Wait a second, that probably is the drugs, because she’s riding an horned ostrich made of fire. I’m so high. But wait, who’s that then? Broheimer, I think I see Sean Avery. And it’s not the drugs talking! What the hell is Sean Avery doing at Bonnaroo? Read more…

Well, you don’t see this every day. Some 24 hours after he was caught on camera throwing a water bottle at an innocent Washington fan, New York Rangers coach John Tortorella was suspended for Game 6 of the teams’ first round series by the NHL. In case you lost track, the Rangers lead that series 3-2, which means that Tortorella could miss the decisive game because of a water bottle toss.

(Don’t worry John, you can go hockey casual all day Sunday.)

We have no record of other hockey coaches being suspended for potential decisive games, but there’s really no more fitting sport for such a ridiculous turn of events to follow. Clearly, this was a punishment ticketed for Lou Pinella or Pat Riley, and somehow a guy who openly advocated for Sean Avery to be banned, then came back to coach him within months, got the envelope instead.

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The first round playoff series between the Capitals and Rangers has been getting testy, with desperate Caps fans frustrated beyond belief that their team is still struggling to win a playoff series. Well, in the midst of a season-saving blowout of New York on Friday, fans were laying the verbal abuse — and maybe something else — on Rangers coach John Tortorella, who decided he’d had just about enough.

That’s when Tortorella took things into his own hands, turning around and confronting the Washington fans after someone reportedly tossed a beer on his head. He threw a water bottle into the stands and grabbed a stick, pointing it at the fans and threatening a charge out of the coaches box before being restrained by assistant coach Jim Schoenfeld. If it sounds too crazy to believe, just check out the video after the jump.

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Some things in sports never change - like Sean Avery’s penchant for taking swings at opposing goalies. Earlier this month, the naughty New York Ranger was caught clocking Boston Bruins netminder Tim Thomas in the back of the head with his stick.

And now with the NHL playoffs in full force, you might think Avery might soften his act a bit, so as not to distract from his team’s goal of Stanley Cup glory. And you would be very wrong. (Video after the jump.)

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It was only a matter of time until Rangers enforcer/resident bad guy Sean Avery re-asserted himself as a resident enforcer/bad guy. Now we know that the gestation period for Avery to get back to his old tricks was one month, with the instigator clocking Boston goalie Tim Thomas on the head after a stoppage of play 31 days after re-joining the Rangers.

It was a pretty lowball move, particularly since he pulled it off in classic Sean Avery style; by being overtly brash and then pretending he didn’t do anything at all. Naturally, because he chose to attack Thomas, one of the more fiery goalies in the league, he didn’t get away with it. Not only did Avery get a full recompense from Thomas, he earned himself a penalty in the process, which is standard operating procedure for his gimmicks.

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• Always dreamed of Eva Longoria in a cheerleader’s outfit? Here you go!

• The Dominican Republic gets dealt a death blow by the Dutch. And here’s the skipper who helped bounce Felipe Alou & Co. from the WBC.

• Q: What’s a life worth? A: The 17th pick in the 2nd round of the NHL Draft.

• Dwight Freeney gets an offseason job as Dr. Phil’s limo driver.

• NFL backup QB Drew Olson loses golf tourney to a 14-year-old. Drew, don’t quit your day job.

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Generations of doctors and philosophers have striven to answer one question: What’s a life worth? Thankfully, the NHL figured out the answer: the 17th pick in the second round.

Alexei Cherepanov was the Rangers’ first round draft pick who died suddenly last year from — well, Russia’s doing the investigation, so we don’t really know why he died. New York insisted, with some pretty heartless arguments, that they were due a pick this year to make up for their failing to find Cherepanov’s bum ticker. So the NHL said, “sorry about the loss of your prospect. Here’s some flowers, a cheese plate, and a compensatory draft pick.”

Will that be enough to satisfy the Rangers, who demand blood for blood?

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There are times when it’s a blog’s duty to just report the news, with no frills. A Joe Friday-esque “just the facts.”  Just quick and dirty and telling you what you need to know about the world. Then there are times when the blog really, really justs wants the clicks.

That’s why I’m not going to tell you which hot Swedish athlete said they’re willing to pose topless until after the jump. But trust me, it’s a major sex symbol who’s not too bad at their chosen profession either. Wow, isn’t the anticipation killing you? OK, check out the sultry Swede who’s not above showing a little skin, after the jump.

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Who is the First Lady of Hockey? If you said Penguins center Cindy Crosby, I like the way you think, but no. It’s probably superstar puck bunny and supermodel Carol Alt. Yesterday Alt lost a $1 million lawsuit against her ex-husband, former NHL’er Ron Greschner.

Alt, who will appear in the December issue of Playboy, was seeking the money from her husband of 18 years for shares in a business investment, which she said belonged to her because she let him handle her finances. A Manhattan District Court ruled that she was entitled to $168,000, but that the statute of limitations had run out.

Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ wit no (QMJHL team Drummondville) Voltiguers.
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