As everyone knows, the Yankees’ new Death Star is opening its doors in April. And just how evilly awesome will the place be? From the sounds of the tour given to NEW YORK POST gossip diva Cindy Adams, it’s pretty freakin’ incredible.

Adams speaks of huge offices and locker rooms, urinals made of blue granite, heated and air conditioned dugouts, special hooks in the lockers just for hanging socks, and a super-secret locker room where players can go hide from the media (otherwise known as A-Rod’s office).

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New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress has had one hell of a year.   Ever since winning the Super Bowl against the New England Patriots, it seems as though Plax can do nothing right.   When he’s not ticking off his coach and getting suspended by his own team for two games, he’s, well actually he’s always making Tom Coughlin mad.   When he wakes up in the morning and uses the bathroom Coughlin calls to yell at him for leaving the seat up.   “It’s just not considerate,” he screams into the phone.

So it wasn’t exactly a surprise that Coughlin suspended Plaxico for the first quarter of the Giants game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday after he missed a few practices and skipped getting treatment on his injured neck.   It was a move a lot of Giants fans support, and a lot of folks in the local media supported it as well.   Of course, if you ask Al Sharpton — and really, why wouldn’t you ask him — the NEW YORK POST went over the line.

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NEWSDAY gleefully reports today that a NEW YORK POST report about Tiger Woods buying a $65M is wrong.

The Post report: “Tiger has a brand-new lair - a $65 million estate in the Hamptons where he can send his chip shots flying into the ocean.”

But the agent who listed the property had a completely different story to tell. Read more…

So sayeth Marc Berman of the NEW YORK POST. Our favorite low-cost sneaker entrepreneur will be out for the rest of the season after his ankle surgery “was more complex than anticipated.”

With one year and $21 million dollars left on his expiring contract, Stephon Marbury is already on the trading block and likely to find himself bought out if Isiah Thomas isn’t able to find a buyer (read: sucker) to take him up on the aging point guard. If you need any more proof that he’s played his last game in a Knicks uniform, this will do it:

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Where the MSM’s disdain doesn’t bother us as much as it bothers Shaq:

• Imitation must be the sincerest form of flattery, as The NEW YORK POST appreciates a good animated gif when they see one:

• One of Dan Patrick’s favorite daily web stops has been offline for over a year.

• Some Pro Bowlers are con about taking the trip to Hawaii.

• Bills owner Ralph Wilson says his team’s not shuffling off from Buffalo - yet.

• Now ladies can replace their mother’s milk with a nice merlot, with the booze bra know as the Wine Rack:

• Curt Schilling might not be able to shoulder a whole ‘nother season with the Red Sox.

• New York DC Steve Spagnuolo uses the other D.C. to get a Giant raise.

• Wednesday’s US-Mexico soccer match was such a “friendly” game that two people were shot afterwards.

Yesterday we posted a video that featured a cockfight involving Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal in the Dominican Republic. The video has since been taken down. Here’s the animated gif we created to link the video:

The ASSOCIATED PRESS then reported on the video a few hours after we linked it (which we first spotted on HOME RUN DERBY). Keep in mind the video was not uploaded to Youtube on the day we linked it. It had already been on the site for some time. We’re guessing the AP found the old video through SbB or Home Run Derby, which is fine. We really don’t expect credit on something like that.

But then earlier today Cathy Burke and Tom Liddy of the NEW YORK POST reported on the video as well, including this animated gif (bottom right):

Look familiar? Hi Cathy and Tom!

The NEW YORK POST reports “three days before they beat the San Diego Chargers, and more than two weeks before Super Bowl XLII, the team egotistically filed paperwork with the US Patent and Trademark Office to cash in on sales of T-shirts, caps, posters and all kinds of Pats paraphernalia.”

The club applied for trademarks on “19-0″ and “19-0 The Perfect Season.”

So the management at the NYP did what any right-thinking, objective media outlet would do, they “spent $375 for its own trademark application yesterday - on ‘18-1.’ Our application, No. 77385477, is pending.”

The Post is obviously groping for another publicity play after it hit a gusher with the Jessica Simpson look-alike bit for the Cowboys-Giants game. In comparison, this move falls rather flaccid.

THE SPORTS HERNIA gets in the holiday spirit, as the NEW YORK POST shows off their jolly green Giant:

That’s the one and only Eli Manning stylized as the Dr. Seuss yuletide villain. Based on their back-page photoshop, it appears the Post is expecting coal in New York’s playoff stockings.

Still, we’d rather see Peyton’s little brother Grinching it up than Jim Carrey.