Yes, now you too can bring home Devon Harris here, or any of the New Jersey Nets, for your child’s birthday party or Bar Mitzvah. All one has to do is fork over $25,000 for four of the team’s best courtside seats for 10 games, and the Net of your choice can be yours.

Hey, it’s a tough economy, and the team is doing what it can to move tickets. But you heard it right: Pay the 25 grand, and that includes seats, parking, access to a private lounge at the Izod Center, free food and beverage, and a NJ Net at your office Christmas party. Wait … Yi Jianlian is my Secret Santa? Read more…

We’ve mentioned it plenty of times already here, but one of the crucial aspects of life for a pro athlete these days is the fact that they’re young and have unholy amounts of money. There’s probably no primer a target than they.

(This man had a stalker. Don’t laugh. Why you gotta be laughing?)

So it’s pretty understandable that someone like Nets guard Chris Douglas-Roberts - he of the bengal kitten fame - would have some, ahem, devoted female fans. Fortunately, he’s got a Twitter feed, and as CDR explained a few days ago, he’s “approachable” on there. He’s even got stories, including one opus of 20+ tweets about a stalker he had last year. Was she crazy? Holy smokes yes, and CDR’s got details. Lots of details.

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Thanks to a rebuke of Rush Limbaugh by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Colts Owner Jim Irsay this week, the talk radio host was dropped from a group bidding to buy the Rams today. Cited as basis for the rebuke was Limbaugh’s past “divisive” comments. Though the subject of those “divisive” comments went unclarified by Goodell. Though Limbaugh as a racist was the operative translation.

(Rush vanquished by NFL Owners as Jay-Z welcomed by NBA Owners)

Now that Limbaugh’s personal bid has been reduced to tatters, onto other matters of import. From Jason Whitlock of FoxSports.com this week:

I’d say we’re less than 24 hours from Limbaugh playing the Jay-Z card. Brother Jay owns a piece of the New Jersey Nets and has a library of rap tunes spewing the same kind of black-degrading lyrics, phrases and stereotypes that have made Limbaugh rich enough to buy a chunk of the St. Louis Rams.

Then there’s rapper Nelly, who holds a minority interest in the NBA’s Charlotte Bobcats while happening upon a similar propensity for the debasement of women and black culture.

So how is it that two men responsible for such prolific dissemination of detestables have been unanimously affirmed as owners of major league pro sports teams, but Limbaugh was cast out from his mere attempt to join an NFL ownership group?

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Here’s the dude who could become the most intriguing sports story of 2010, that is “wild child” Russian Oligarch and new NBA team owner Mikhail Prokhorov:

(Prokhorov could leave hip-replaced Mark Cuban in NBA popularity dust)

Honest to god, if I didn’t live in L.A., where the NBA is by far the most popular spectator sport, I would’ve completely stopped following The League years ago. I know I’m not alone, the NBA has plummeted in popularity the past two decades, with the league bordering on irrelevance in many non-NBA markets.

On its surface, the sale of the New Jersey Nets and its arena project to Russian Billionaire Prokhorov is another bad sign for the league, spotlighting its rapidly weakening financial state. The (fire) sale of the Nets and former team owner Bruce Ratner’s once-grand Brooklyn arena project to Prokhorov essentially saved the franchise from financial ruin, but the move to welcome a Russian Oligarch’s money into the league borders on desperation.

No matter how David Stern spins it, this never would’ve happened pre-economic downturn.

Prokhorov’s splurge will be the first in a series of buy-ins in USA-based pro sports leagues from foreign interests - much like what has already happened to the English Premier League. But in the particular case of Prokhorov, I believe his presence will be the best thing that has happened to major pro sports in America in years. Read more…

• How did Plaxico Burress’ first night behind bars go? Fine - if you discount the other inmate taunts of “A**hole!” & “The Giants suck!”

• Washington State RB James Montgomery underwent surgery on his injured knee last Sunday. And doctors soon learned that it was a good thing James didn’t delay - or he might have died.

• Could the Nets’ new owner have LeBron Russian to New Jersey?

• Perez Hilton posts his doubts about whether Lamar Odom & Khloe Kardashian will actually tie the knot.

• Evander Holyfield has the bright idea to turn his Georgia mansion into a solar power plant.

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At this point the speculation surrounding LeBron James leaving the Cavs has become folklore; like Bigfoot sightings, or Chad Ochocinco shutting up for five minutes. But if there’s one man who can lure The King from his Clevelandly realm, it’s the man below; a Russian billionaire who once played professional hoops and flips jet skis to relax. It’s like I have a twin!

Who is Mikhail Prokhorov? Think of the New Jersey Nets as owned by Goldfinger, or the alternate James Bond villain of your choice. Russia’s richest man, who made his $9 billion fortune mainly in nickel and gold production and nanotechnology development, has been called Russia’s most eligible bachelor. He’s fond of traveling the world in his private jet with beautiful women in tow, and was once arrested in an investigation of a high-end prostitution ring.

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• The Dolphins held the ball for more than 30 minutes longer than the Colts, but it was Peyton Manning & Co. who left Land Shark Stadium with a 27-23 win on Monday night.

• It’s a Twitter trifecta: First, Redskins rookie LB Robert Henson takes “dim wit” Washington fans to task for booing at FedEx Field.

• Then Marcus Fitzgerald bitches on behalf of brother Larry about the lack of catches the Cardinals WR is getting.

• And Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema admits that one of his scouting techniques is following the Tweets of opposing players.

• A South Carolina man is sentenced to life in prison without parole for the vicious stabbing death of a high school cheerleader.

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It’s hard to blame Chris Douglas-Roberts for being proud of his collegiate career. Even as the NCAA declared the Tigers’ 2007-08 season “vacated“, he was still part of a program that, over two seasons, went 71-6 and went to two Elite Eights. Hooray, Tigers, hooray.

(Aw, he’s SOOO CUUUUTE! Who’s that cute kitty gonna rip my larynx out with one swipe? I said WHO’S that cute kitty??)

But while most athletes who want to honor their alma mater do something like buy memorabilia or get tattoos, CDR (as the kids call him) decided to take things one step further and raise bengal tigers in his house. This makes sense because WAIT WAIT WAIT… he’s raising bengal tigers in his own house?! Multiple? Plural? Tigers with an S? Oh yeah, that should work out beautifully.

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Usually, Tony Romo saves his worst for last, shining as the season begins but falling apart in December and January. But hey, last night was kind of a big game - it was the first “official” game at the new Cowboys Stadium, and it was a national TV audience against the arch-rival New York Giants. So I guess you can’t blame Romo for reverting to his late-season form and throwing up all over himself in the Cowboys’ 33-31 loss.

Romo threw three picks - including one that was returned for a touchdown - and generally looked more spooked than a race horse that’s just been hit with a firecracker. But despite this, the Cowboys actually led late, and it looked like Dallas might pull out an improbable victory. Read more…

• A Michigan player punched a Notre Dame opponent during last weekend’s game? Rich Rodriguez has no idea what you’re talking about.

• Duke football players bedevil fans with their own shirtless poster.

• How did Lane Kiffin get to be the coaching genius that he is? By washing Reggie White’s car while his dad coached.

• Bills KR Leodis McKelvin decides not to press charges against the two teens who vandalized his yard after the Pats loss.

• Panthers WR Steve Smith loves teammate Jake Delhomme as a person, but hates him as a QB.

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