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Nightmare game for Nebraska today, as the Huskers lose at home to sad sack Iowa State 9-7.
The big comeback against Mizzou two weeks ago hinted that Nebraska football may be back on the rise, but two ugly losses in a row at home has thrown the program back down the stairs.
(Dude is from Omaha)
I’ll keep saying it Coach O.: Turner Gill?
College football fanatics likely remember the name Thunder Collins: aside from being a tailback in the twilight years of Nebraska’s heyday (as they’ve basically all been since Tom Osborne retired), Thunder Collins was also a man named freaking Thunder Collins and that’s awesome. When we first heard from him lately, he was dead; that condition was later upgraded to “alive and unharmed.”
(Oh, Thunder…)
That was all part of a homicide in Omaha last year, one that Collins just so happened to be at the scene of, as he told reporters. Comes now that the reason Collins was unharmed was because he was evidently on the other end of the violence. Thus, Collins has been convicted of first degree murder.
• Racers on the hot rod circuit will have to deal with a new emerging (and enchanting) force - Ashley Force’s younger sister Courtney:
• Everything is magical about Tom Brady - from his supermodel wife to his miraculously quick recovery from knee surgery.
• Kimbo Slice is trying to get back into MMA the only way he knows how - through a UFC reality TV series.
• Justice Clarence Thomas knows how to keep football recruits committed to Nebraska - by speaking at their high school commencement.
• Remember to always take special care when celebrating your soccer team’s promotion on top of a bouncy Brazilian bus.
For being a Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas is a bit of a mystery. That’s not to say Ruth Bader Ginsberg is on TV daily or has paparazzi following her or anything, it’s just that… well, he never talks. Maybe it’s a complex, nuanced feeling of payback for that whole Anita Hill pube thing.
(”I have an invisible football. Go long!”)
Or maybe it’s simpler than that, that he only talks to people being recruited by Nebraska football. Ludicrous notion, yes, but hear me out: two prep stars were flying back home after visiting that very school, and just so happened to find themselves seated next to Justice Thomas. As NBC WASHINGTON reports, Thomas, who’s evidently a huge Cornhusker fan, began eagerly chatting with the two young men. What ensued was either a severe NCAA violation or an awesome ending to the story:
We’ve got nothing against ESPN analyst Trev Alberts. He seems like a nice enough guy, and the way he took a stand against ESPN management in 2005 — costing himself his own gig there — was both strong-willed and honest. Nonetheless, all the nice things you can say about Alberts don’t make his appointment as the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s new athletic director any more sane.
Consider this:
All-in-all, the move seems like a pretty enormous leap of faith to think that Alberts can run the school’s entire athletic department. Coach the football team? OK, maybe we’d buy that. Run the budget for 15 different varsity sports in the middle of an economic recession? Do we even know that he’s successfully run his family’s grocery budget before?
I think I’ve found the world’s worst person: his name is Jaime Salcedo, and he’s the owner of Showbiz Productions in Jacksonville, FL. He first made a name for himself by selling the “Vick Chew Toy,” which is not related to the one the St. Paul Saints gave away. In fact, if you read the fine print at the toy’s Web site, it’s not even Michael Vick at all. Crazy how someone could get that idea, right? Check out the promotional video for yourself:
So while the toy and it’s cutting-edge “dog material” might be an overpriced, one-note joke aimed at making a quick buck, it’s not really horrible. Now, creating a doll based on a toddler who was gruesomely killed by her mother, that would be hideous. Folks, let me introduce you to the “Sunshine Caylee Doll,” also a creation from the monstrous kitchens of Showbiz Productions, meant to be a “tribute” to slain Florida two-year-old Caylee Anthony.
Of course, as Salcedo told Fox News, he wanted to be sensitive to Anthony’s memory, so he made sure the doll had little resemblance to her - even if it did play her favorite song “You Are My Sunshine” when you pressed its stomach. After all, making the doll look like Anthony would be “too morbid.”
But Salcedo wanted to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t a heartless slime trying to make money exploiting dead toddlers and mangled dogs. He was also a philanthropist, pledging to donate portions of the sales of the Vick Chew Toy to local animal shelters and $5,000 from the sales of the Sunshine Caylee Doll to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
Well, Salcedo did make a donation to that last group: for a grand total of $10. And it seems evident that no donations were made to local animal shelters from sales of the Vick doll. So not only was Salcedo making money off of products in horrible taste, but he was pulling a big grift by using charity donations that never happened to support sales.
Finally, someone is doing something about it: the JACKSONVILLE TIMES-UNION says the Florida Attorney General’s office is suing Salcedo for $20,000 for making false advertising claims, and seeking an injunction against further sales of the dolls. Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum said that using a respected organization such as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children as a front makes things even more reprehensible:
“Any company that intentionally misleads innocent consumers to believe they are contributing to worthy charitable causes is absolutely reprehensible,” he said. “It is disgusting that a company would exploit a tragic situation for personal gain.”
Of course, when you consider that Salcedo himself estimates that he sold at least 200,000 Michael Vick dolls at $7.77 each (grossing more than $1,500,000), a $20,000 fine feels like a slap on the wrist. I know times are tough, but the people of Jacksonville can’t band together and find the time and money to get the supplies needed for a good old fashioned tar and feathering? I’ll even chip in and by the first barrel of tar.
Meanwhile, there wasn’t much going wrong on Thursday during the first round of The Masters, unless you consider the appalling traffic. Despite assurances by government officials that the kinks that led to significant traffic snarls at the beginning of the week had been worked out, the AUGUSTA CHRONICLE says that traffic was even worse for the opening round, leading to headaches such as a local doctor having to run three-quarters of a mile to make a speaking engagement at the course.
At least it was perfect weather for a run, and also for shooting a low score: it was the second-lowest scoring first round in tournament history. The Day One leader is Chad Campbell, who set a tournament record with birdies on his first five holes and flirted with history before back-to-back closing bogies left him at 65, one stroke ahead of Hunter Mahan and Jim Furyk.
How crazy was the scoring on Thursday? If Phil Mickelson had shot 73 in last year’s first round, he would have been tied for 29th, five shots off the lead. Instead, he starts today tied for 51st, looking at an eight shot deficit. Even the over-50 crowd was getting into the scoring act: Larry Mize sits in a tie for fourth after a 67, while the group at 70 includes Greg Norman and Bernhard Langer.
Also firing a two-under: Tiger Woods, who probably could have been near the top of the leaderboard if one of five or six putts go in instead of burning the lip of the cup. The other main contender we previewed yesterday, Padraig Harrington, also had a quietbut efficient round, going one lower than Woods. Even Gary Player, in his final Masters, shot a respectable 78. In fact, every player broke 80 except for New Zealander Michael Campbell, who must feel great that even Craig Stadler’s portly butt beat him by three shots.
Finally, Andrew Bynum’s comeback from a knee injury might not be on par (get it?) with Tiger Woods’, but it couldn’t come at a better time for the Los Angeles Lakers. The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports that Bynum looked comfortable and healthy in his return after missing 32 games from a torn MCL, racking up 16 points and seven rebounds in just 21 minutes as the Lakers blew past the Nuggets, 116-102. Which begs the question: Could his injury actually have been a break for the Lakers, as their center is now rested and not worn down by the rigors of a long regular season?
(CNBC’s Darren Rovell ponders the glory of the Fifth Third Burger)
A few months ago, we told you about Paul Donahoe, one of two college wrestlers who were kicked off the Nebraska team after it turned out that they had been models for a gay porn site. He eventually transferred to Edinboro College, and it appears that he’s got his wrestling career back on track: as GAY WIRED notes, he just finished an undefeated regular season by winning his conference championship and is primed for the NCAA Tournament.
In an interview with the BOSTON GLOBE, Donahoe discussed the details of his gay porn career. Although he doesn’t consider what he did pornography, saying “Maybe the site, yeah, but me personally, no.” Which sounds like a case of denial of the highest degree to me.
The number one ranked prep running back in the nation is transferring to a new high school in Lincoln, Neb., although he claims it has nothing to to with recruiting. David Oku is switching from Carl Albert HS in Oklahoma to East HS, and in the overanalyzed world of recruiting, fans from both Nebraska and OU are up in arms.
But Oku says he’s not considering either of them, and that his list is made up of Auburn, Tennessee, Syracuse, and Ole Miss. To make this sideshow even more bizarre, the current buzz has it that his move has something to do with some “extracurricular activities” he got up to on an official recruiting trip. Let’s visit the seamy underbelly of the Internet rumor mill, with photo evidence, after the jump.
So they handed out a bunch of awards last night, and frankly, we don’t care. Until the “Academy” lifts their de facto ban on nominating sports movies with animals as the lead, we’re boycotting the Oscars and we think you ought to as well.
(Sweeping the Oscars in our hearts.)
And as if you needed further proof, The Wrestler, which was probably the best sports movie since Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver Rudy, was snubbed entirely by the Academy last night, as traditional Oscar-bait roles like “impoverished underexposed foreign minority” and “socially stigmatized overachiever” took center stage for the 90 millionth year in a row. But for Mickey Rourke and us, we’ll always have his exuberant speech from the Spirit Awards, which features insanely NSFW speech.
Oh yeah, he definitely did roids.
And there was one other nice sports moment at the Academy Awards: Will Smith, tripping over some pedestrian-at-best lines from the teleprompter, goes boom:
(Click here if, lord forbid, you don’t get it.)
(”Nope, I see nothing wrong with 30 shots and 5 assists.”)
But back in the real world, we had another big individual performance: Dwyane Wade dropping 50 on the Magic. One problem–none of the rest of the Heat decided to show up, and Orlando ended up blowing Miami out, 122-99. Dwight Howard was the man for the Magic once again with 32 and 17… and this 75-foot shot, which didn’t count but makes me feel like it somehow should have. If you needed more evidence that going Berzerker like this was actually a bad idea on Wade’s part, the Heat are now 0-4 when Wade scores at least 44 points. The Eastern Conference is dutifully taking notes on giving D-Wade the long jumper all night long.
(Welcome back, man! But about those cornrows…)
And speaking of notes for the Eastern Conference, Delonte West is back for the Cleveland Cavaliers, and that is bad, bad news for everyone else. The Cavs dispatched the Pistons, 99-78, in a game that wasn’t really that close at all; the Cavs led 67-34 at the break (!!!) and coasted to a jarringly easy win. West led all scorers with 25 points, including a 5-5 performance behind the arc.
Some more quick links to peruse while you face full life consequences…
We all know that spring football games are just a ruse by universities to make a bunch of cash by giving rabid fans their offseason fix. It’s a fun day of tailgating without having to worry that your team will lose to Toledo.
But things are getting way too crazy over in Lincoln, Nebraska, where a pair of seats for Cornhuskers’ April scrimmage will set you back as much as $253, according to StubHub. Perhaps Nebraska fans are just excited that the Huskers will be playing someone they can beat.
