So through a series of mixups and comic blunders, someone has given me my own sports blog. It’s over at NBCSports.com, and it launches tomorrow at 9 a.m. Title: Out Of Bounds. No, I don’t know the exact url (they tell me very little), but it’ll be promoted on their front page, I’m told. No need to knock; just come right in.

I should also say that this doesn’t mean I’m leaving SbB … on the contrary, once I get things situated in the new place, I’ll be here more than ever. I know that makes you happy … (hey! Who threw that brick?) Leaving SbB at this juncture is quite inconceivable, frankly. This site is going places; Brooks willing it to greatness through sheer heavy lifting and thought control. No one on the web is close to touching what he’s accomplished over the past nine months, and I want to continue to be a part of that. The vibe here is electric. He is the lightning thief.

So, that’s what’s happening. Above please enjoy a screen capture of the Out Of Bounds logo, never before seen in the wild. No, I have no idea what’s going on in it, or who those people are. All I can tell you is that if that’s a Kansas City Chief there on the left, soon he will either be suspended or traded to Yahoo.

As you’ve probably heard, Comcast is in heavy negotiations to acquire NBC for roughly eleventy kerjillion dollars, give or take a kerjillion or threeve. What effect that would have on NBC’s sports programming seemed to be of minimal concern… until you realize that Comcast also owns the Versus Network, and boy would they like to have some good content on that channel, seeing as how DirecTV reportedly called it “a glorified infomercial”. You probably already know where this one’s going.

(An Irish fan’s dream come true!)

According to the SPORTS BUSINESS JOURNAL, if NBC gets swallowed up by the cable giant, Notre Dame’s probably one of the first big sports programs headed to Versus. And the school and its fans can complain until they’re hoarse, but Notre Dame’s the first to blame; after all, a move to cable is already in their contract.

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A little confession: I’ve never really gotten into 30 ROCK. Yes, I’m told at least once a week that it’s the funniest show on television and that Tracy Morgan is a comedic genius. I’ve just seen the show about 4 times - trust me, I tried to get into it - and each time, it was just all right, but not enough for me to get invested in it (though I howled for about five minutes straight after this line).

That, however, may change.  30 Rock may have won me over with this clip of character Jenna Maroney’s “TENNIS NIGHT IN AMERICA” intro from last night’s show. There’s little subtlety in the allusion to the insipid Faith Hill spot for NBC’s actual FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA, but that’s par for the course with 30 Rock. Video is after the break.

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For those who can’t bear to subject themselves to the NBC studio shows, what with Football Night in America being so overproduced it makes T-Pain seem “gritty” by comparison, you probably missed Rodney Harrison continuing his crusade to turn himself into the court jester of today’s crop of NFL television analysts*.

(”Plus, dude, purple totally clashes with the uniform.”)

In this instance, Tom Brady had just thrown a pass in the pocket when he was hit in the knee by Terrell Suggs (and rather lightly at that), prompting a 15-yard roughing the passer flag at Brady’s demonstrative request. Afterward, Harrison took what should have been an interesting debate about the new NFL rules protecting the quarterback in the pocket and instead turned into an OMG controversy about just Harrison, Brady, and “manhood.” Oh, great. Awesome. Video of the play in question and Harrison’s “controversial” remark after the break.

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• Who would have though cream cheese on bagels would be the downfall of George Mason coach Jim Larranaga’s Twittering career?

(”Go away! You’ve caused me enough trouble!”)

• Broncos fans boo Jay Culter on his return to Denver. And the way Kyle Orton has been playing, expect a lot more booing from Mile High this year.

• But there’s plenty of cheering at NBC, where Sunday’s Broncos-Bears matchup netted the highest ratings for a preseason game in five years.

• Holy subterranean living! Indiana Pacers forward Danny Granger is building himself a batcave down in New Mexico.

• A Louisville-area high school football coach is facing homicide charges after one of his players collapsed & died during practice.

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So who came out ahead in the deal that sent Jay Cutler from the Broncos to the Bears? Easy answer so far: NBC. Sunday’s Bears-Broncos game scored a 7.3 overnight rating and 12 share; NBC’s highest-rated preseason game in five years. Read more…

I wonder how things would have been different with The Empire if the Death Star had hired an ombudsman. Darth Vader would not have curtailed his strangling of subordinates, I fear. The ombudsman’s office would have been tiny, probably right next door to the garbage compactor. And speaking of that, Don Ohlmeyer began his reign as ESPN ombudsman today, rolling out his debut column in which he tackled (eventually) the network’s non-coverage of the Ben Roethlisberger sexual assault civil case.

Ohlmeyer, the venerable television director/producer who had legendary stints at NBC and ABC, apparently thinks he’s getting paid by the word; and who knows, he may be. His first column for ESPN is a massive tome, reminiscent of the Russian classics, or my phone book. Eventually, toward the end, he gets to what we all want to read: ESPN’s recent handling of Roethlisberger. After thousands of words laying the groundwork, he gave his verdict.

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You never really know what’s going to happen on the 17th at Edgewood Tahoe when the American Century Celebrity Championship is in town. The fairway runs right along the lake, which means anyone with a boat can anchor right off the beach and watch for free. Many hop off their boats and watch up close, which probably explains the man on Sunday who got into the NBC camera’s shot of Michael Jordan while holding a giant inflatable penis. I doubt that they would have let him through the main gate with that thing.

Unless … he snuck it in delfated in his pants or something. That conjurs the comical image of a man somewhere on the course blowing up an inflatable penis (”Is it getting bigger?”) as horrified onlookers walk past. No, has to be a boat person. In my opinion, sporting events need more giant inflatable penises, and the NBC commentators seem to agree. Video following the jump.

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With the USMNT’s highly improbable run in last month’s Confederations Cup in South Africa, interest has ramped up in America for the 2010 World Cup. Now all of a sudden, people know of more players on the team than just Landon Donovan - even if it’s just to yell “WHERE THE HELL WAS DEMPSEY?” at the television in order to give the (false) impression that you have a clue what’s going on.

(Success for the national team? Who the hell would want to watch that?)

So with a critical World Cup qualifier with rivals Mexico coming up next month, it stands to reason that rights-holders NBC would want to put the game on as many television sets in the US as possible. But, um, about that… hope you like Telemundo!

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• NBC puts a stop to Stanley Cup Finals viewings at the Joe Louis & Mellon Arenas - because it’s shaving nearly a point off of their local Nielsen ratings.

• Deadline? The Vikings never said anything about a Brett Favre deadline.

• Nice to see Ozzie Guillen back in ranting ‘n’ raving form.

• Don’t worry, Barry Bonds, at least your wife still supports you through these troubles times. Um, OK, maybe not.

• Oh boy! The MLB Draft is on TV tonight! It’s not like there’s anything else on worth watching.

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