Everybody’s been bagging on the Big Ten this offseason, what with the conference’s dismal 1-6 record in bowl games last season. And if the first games of the first weekend this year are any indication, expect the criticism to continue.

First, Iowa - the only Big Ten school to win its bowl game last year - opened up with in-state I-AA opponent Northern Iowa. And the 22nd-ranked Hawkeyes needed not one, but two blocked field goals to survive an embarrassing near-plucking by the Panthers.

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Eric Kettani is an impressive football player. He finished his career at the Naval Academy with a 125-yard rushing performance in a rout of Army and he scored a touchdown in the Senior Bowl. In fact, Kettani has played so well that he’s earned himself some serious attention from NFL scouts, who want to see him compete at the NFL Combine and, potentially, as a fullback in the NFL. There’s just one problem: The military won’t let him go.

According to a story in the BALTIMORE SUN, Kettani was told that he won’t be allowed to compete in the NFL until after he fulfills his five-year military obligation, a pledge all students at Navy or Army make when the accept their free, government-funded elite education.

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There’s nothing like a good prank to fire up a rivalry. Unless the rivalry has turned into a one-sided mess. Case in point: UCLA students getting the jump on Rivalry Week by painting Tommy Trojan powder blue in mid-November, only to see the Trojans get their revenge by thumping the hapless Bruins 28-7 on Saturday to clinch another Rose Bowl berth.

But when it comes to students outdoing the efforts of their football team in taking a stand against their rivals, the winners have to be the Army cadets. Yes, even with their camouflage uniforms, the Army football team was trounced by Navy 34-0, their seventh straight loss to their bitter rivals. But WTOP-TV says their cadets pulled off the type of stunt that it is at once awe-inspiring and worrying: using a military helicopter to dump thousands of pieces of “propaganda” on the Naval Academy campus.

And of course they documented it on video, which is after the jump:

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• Robert Redford has signed on to portray Dodgers GM Branch Rickey in ESPN’s upcoming Jackie Robinson flick.

• Annoying analyst Billy Packer is finally sent packing by CBS.

• LeBron James’ little “Vogue” cover controversy with Giselle Bundchen didn’t translate into many newsstand sales.

• Nude climbers really know how to get their rocks off.

• A-Rod’s marriage quickly crumbling? Scott Boras to the rescue!

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Even though it hasn’t meant much lately in the Top 25 scheme of things, the annual Army-Navy game is still a special & respected tradition in college football. And it may be coming to a city near you, thanks to the good people of [insert corporate entity here].

The NAVY TIMES reports that the service academy showdown is looking to take its game cross-country, somewhere different than Philadelphia, Baltimore, or the same old places between West Point and Annapolis:

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Things seem to be rolling Roger Staubach’s way. First, his Navy Midshipmen finally beat Notre Dame for the first time since Roger was under center in Annapolis. Now, the ex-Cowboys QB is about to become $700 million richer.

FORBES reports that the Staubach Company, Roger’s real estate services firm, is about to be purchased by a larger conglomerate for a sum about as handsome as he is:

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A college baseball graduate recently drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals has been told that he’s made the roster - the combat duty roster.

The HAMPTON ROADS VIRGINIAN-PILOT reports that Mitch Harris, who just completed his pitching career with the Navy Midshipmen, has been ordered to report to a transport ship to begin his five-year active service.

Although he hasn’t been told where exactly he’s headed (loose lips sink ships, you know), Harris realizes that his plans for a pro ball career have been washed out. Read more…

I’m reporting for duty today from the Florida Panhandle, with designs on driving to East Texas later tonight. ETA for L.A. is Saturday night, just in time for … sleep.

By now you know about Milton Bradley beserking on Royals announcer Ryan Lefebvre over innocuous (and true) on-air comments the broadcaster made about him last night. What you don’t know about this story is what makes it wildly ironic.

(Lefebvre: Class act who has overcome his own personal demons)

I had the pleasure of working with Ryan as a Royals broadcaster during the 1999 season. Great guy and a true professional. Before I met him, Ryan had gone through some tough times with alcohol, and since escaped his own personal demons. Here’s a quote from him last month - from a piece about his charitable Footprints Foundation:

“Through some difficulties that I had in college and after college, I just found myself drawn to go to church; just to have the emptiness filled up with God and not with alcohol, or drugs, or women, or possessions. God just laid down a path for me that allowed me to be influenced by mentors and people who have given me a good example.”

Ryan’s comments about Bradley came from a different place than the typical MLB broadcaster. And if anyone has insight into what Bradley is obviously wrestling with, it’s Lefebvre. So Lefebvre is the last guy Bradley should be irate at.

The only thing now that’s going to help Bradley get himself straight is to get away from all the baseball-borne enablers. Perhaps the Rangers will be smart enough to do that. But with the year on the field that Bradley is having, I highly doubt it.

Yesterday I heard Michael Wilbon live on WAXY-AM in Miami address the the online pix posted of him - together with porn stars - at a L.A. party. Wilbon went on Dan Le Batard’s afternoon show and threw a wet blanket over the fun that his PTI fill-in wanted to have with the piccies (Wilbon also talked briefly about it on PTI - and was slightly more jocular).

Le Batard was initially giddy when asking Wilbon about the photos, but the minute the WaPo columnist made it clear that he didn’t want to discuss the pay-for-sex-staffed soiree in detail, Le Batard’s tone suddenly took on a more subdued (and boring) tenor.

Wilbon’s cell phone soon after crapped out, and Le Batard, instead of trying to get his ESPN colleague back on the line, said goodbye to him on-air, even though it was clear that Wilbon had been disconnected and couldn’t hear him.

I’m wondering, if Wilbon had been willing to have fun with the DEADSPIN-found photos, do you think Le Batard would’ve suddenly dumped the interview? And by the way, we completely agree with what Le Batard did. He had the entertainment quotient of the show in mind.

In case for some reason you don’t know, Wilbon famously despises all manner of blogs, which is why he had no interest in discussing the pictures in the first place. Read more…

There’s something about the Nation’s Capital that brings out the bombastic behavior of basketball announcers. There’s the Wizards’ Steve Buckhantz who likes his daggers. There’s Georgetown’s Rich Chvoktin who believes a player got fouled. And now only 33 miles away in Annapolis, another b-ball broadcaster goes nuts:

In the opening round of the Patriot League tournament Wednesday night, Bucknell was down 1 to Navy with only 3 seconds left. When John Griffin’s 40-foot desperation shot went in, the play-by-player for the Bison Sports Network screamed “BIIIIIIIN-GOOOOOOOO!” - and yelled it again 3 more times just for good measure.

Now we know what the guy’s favorite church gambling activity is. But you can’t blame the college-age callers for getting so excited. Read more…

SCHIANO STAYING AT RUTGERS; GA. TECH GRABS JOHNSON: It seems that Michigan is turning into Arkansas - no one wants to take their head coaching job.

The NEWARK STAR-LEDGER reports how Rutgers coach Greg Schiano, who was mulling over the opening with the Wolverines, ultimately selected to stick with the Scarlet Knights.Schiano is the 2nd coach to say adios to Ann Arbor this week, after long-rumored candidate Les Miles signed a contract extension to remain at LSU.

Dealing with similar employment problems, the Razorbacks have had three head coaches turn down the chance to live high off the Hogs - Tommy Tuberville, Tommy Bowden and Jim Grobe.Meanwhile, Georgia Tech no longer has coaching concerns of their own, as Navy coach Paul Johnson is setting sail for the Yellow Jackets:

The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION reports that the new king bee of Tech football signed a 7-year deal worth over $11 million.During his Naval stint, Johnson help the Midshipmen reel in their first win over Notre Dame in 44 years, while chartering a 6-0 record against rival Army.

GT hopes Johnson can channel his success against the Black Knights to victory against their own rival Georgia. The Bulldogs have won 6 straight against the Jackets.

And the new coach is no stranger to the south. Before anchoring in Annapolis, Johnson captured 107 wins in his 11 seasons at Georgia Southern, while guiding the Eagles to two 1-AA national championships.So, for those playing at home, here’s how the current college football classifieds look, with these 1-A schools still searching for a gridiron general:

• Arkansas
• Colorado State
• Duke
• Houston
• Michigan
• Navy
• Northern Illinois
• SMU
• Southern Miss
• UCLA
• Washington State