In case you hadn’t noticed, Dale Earnhardt Jr. hasn’t been very good at NASCAR recently. He hasn’t sucked, per se - really, it depends on your definition of the term - and he hasn’t been on a Ricky Bobby-esque tear of wrecking his car or anything like hat. But for someone carrying the most popular surname in the sport, Junior has been middling at best, coming in at 23rd as this NASCAR season winds down. Makes you wonder what the hell’s going on, right?
Fortunately, our friends at the perennially Pulitzer-winning NATIONAL ENQUIRER have the scoop, and we fear it’s for the worst: Dale Jr. is pickling himself to death, one bottle at a time. Remember, if the Enquirer says it,
it must be true somebody told it to them first!