• In recognition of Bobby Knight’s termination at Texas Tech, AOL FANHOUSE comes across these classic quips from the General:

• Meanwhile, BOILED SPORTS tries to explain why Knight’s leaving Lubbock.

• DAMN I’M CUTE believes Tara Reid was pleased with Sunday’s outcome, since she supposedly said at a Super Bowl party in Italy:,”F— Tom Brady! I hope the Giants win.”

• ANGRY BACKHAND grabs a shot of a tennis coach feeling good at the Fed Cup:

• THE LEGEND OF CECILIO GUANTE quietly recounts an evening at Madison Square Garden.

• HOME RUN DERBY reminds baseball voters which teams presidential politicos are pulling for.

Read more…

YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN FREE TO STARE AT NATALIE G.’S A**: Last week we reported that a Richmond, VA., public relations firm had been hired by the hottest woman in sports, Natalie Gulbis, to effectively tear down her sex symbol status.

Well, we’ve never been so happy to print a correction in our lives, as Craig Dolch of the PALM BEACH POST, bless his heart, now reports that Gulbis is “not trying to downplay (her) sexy image.”

Dolch recently asked Gulbis about previous statements from a hag at the Gulbis-hired PR firm - who claimed Natalie wanted to throw a burka over the sexiest body in paid athletic endeavor.

Gulbis: “That’s not true at all. I haven’t tried to tweak my image at all. I’ve been proud of everything I’ve come up with.”

More from Dolch: “Gulbis said what happened is a PR person for a Richmond-based branding agency that produces her calendar, Circle C Studios, overstepped her boundaries when she said Gulbis was trying to downplay her sexy image.”

Finally a female sports star (who is actually hetero hot) who is comfortable embracing her sexuality, and presents it in a tasteful manner. Natalie, you are officially our hero.

GULBIS HIRES PUBLIC RELATIONS FIRM TO UGLY-HER-UP: The RICHMOND TIMES-DISPATCH reports that Natalie Gulbis has hired a public relations firm to get us to forget that she has the bangin’-est body in women’s sports. The PR firm Circle S has been charged by the golfer to apparently remake her image from cheesecake calendar model to serious athlete.

Circle S President and Managing Partner Susan Hogg: “With the original stuff, she was in a beautiful bathing suit, tights and things and that certainly got the attention of a lot of people. But we’re trying to scoot it more to who she is and where she wants to take [her career and name].”

(The appropriately-named) Hogg described the company’s work as “a refinement of a truer image of who she is. Sometimes the media can start to control your brand, and we’re trying to take control of the brand.”

Gulbis puts out two bikini calendars and it’s the media starting to “control” her brand? We understand that she’s probably tired of the same-sex harassment at The Dinah, but producing a calendar that belongs behind the counter at Cracker Barrel probably isn’t the best way to go about adjusting her image.What this really sounds like to us is the dried-up, old hags at the LPGA have finally got their mud hooks sunk into Gulbis, and they want to dumb down her sexuality and make her as gender-neutral as ever-loving possible - thus guaranteeing her popularity with the Tour’s miniscule fan base.

• DEADSPIN has their cupcakes and eat them too, as this visage has been up on KUSports.com all day:

• As we told you earlier about Joe Paterno’s road rage, EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY blares out the audio of JoePa’s overreaction. (It’s NSFW, so we know you’ll listen.)

• The NEW YORK TIMES looks for the mute button, as they are no fan of Chip Caray’s postseason announcing.

• THE GOLF CHANNEL earns their stripes, as Natalie Gublis can now give up the range balls:

• UMPBUMP can’t sense the excitement in this year’s Cy Young race.

• MAVS FULL COURT PRESS witness a good ol’ Texas tongue shootout between NBA coaches Avery Johnson and Gregg Popovich.

• JOE SPORTS FAN does a little turn on the catwalk, as they show off the latest in hot NFL apparel - the sleveless mesh jersey:

• GREEN BANDWAGON isn’t at a loss for words for these NBA Northwest Division slogans.

• THE NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE A CUBS GAME looks back on how the Music City Miracle was ruined by an off-key announcing crew.

• TV GUIDE says “auf weiderdsen” to Wayne Newton, but are Floyd & Mark the next Dancing Stars to bid adieu?

• TIME takes a passing fancy at the latest upstart leagues to challenge the NFL.

• Hear what Da Coach really thinks, with the Mike Ditka Bodog podcast

GOLF’S GULBIS BLOWS AWAY FINCH, BEARD & SHARAPOVA: We present to you Natalie Gulbis, the hottest female athlete in the world today (although we could do without the fake eyelashes and Hairspray cast member makeup job):

• Sarah Talalay of the FT. LAUDERDALE SUN-SENTINEL gives credit to Natalie Gulbis, who can now be yours - in Mastercard form.

• Speaking of golf, WAGGLE ROOM welcomes the ladies to the British Open, which will be closed to them again soon after.

• DEADSPIN checks its cliff notes, as gay baller John Amaechi is having a hard time selling his book.

• WINNING THE TURNOVER BATTLE has the goods on the next sports babes who’ll definitely grab your…attention:

• 100% INJURY RATE is high on life, knowing a team of marijuana advocates is on top of the Congressional Softball League.

• THE GHOSTS OF WAYNE FONTES gets all tongue-tied in introducing their Hall of Fame of Butchered Names.

• SPORTS ILLUSTRATED plows us over with news that A.J. Foyt maybe should steer clear of bulldozers for a while:

• Don’t quit your day job: JOE SPORTS FAN enthralls us with this list of athletes’ side projects that are best left on the side of the road.

• PART MULE puts on their training wheels, as mountain bikers dare to trevass 700-foot cliffs in Ireland.

• THE WIZARD OF ODDS knows Tyrone Prothro got a bad break, as the Alabama receiver’s playing days are over:

• Forget the Dancing and Idolizing, WITH LEATHER knows what America’s been waiting for - Celebrity Bull Riding! (Starring Rocket Ismail, no less!)

• CBS SPORTSLINE isn’t Lion that JoePa’s Nittany nights & days are far from over.

STOKKE REJECTS “BEING SEX SYMBOL” OF VAULTED POLES: Media hound Allison Stokke, she of the front page WASHINGTON POST profile and appearance on Fox News Channel, tells the NEWPORT BEACH (CA) DAILY PILOT that “I don’t want to be the sex symbol of pole vaulting.“

This is the same Stokke who has gone on the record numerous times about her disdain for those who have posted photos of her in competion on the internet. She also has claimed repeatedly that she didn’t welcome the accompanying media attention.

Yet Daily Pilot columnist Soraya Nadia McDonald notes that “Stokke welcomed the Pilot, once again, to tell her story.” “Her story”? That has about as much depth as a lyric from an Ashlee Simpson chart topper.

The only thing new in McDonald’s piece about the hero of vaulted poles everywhere is that Stokke claims to have received “undiclosed endorsement offers” (Popeye’s?). And that she was recently recognized on a cruise (egads!) in the Mediterrean.

If Stokke wants to learn a little about how to conduct herself as an attractive high profile athlete, she should look no further than golfer Natalie Gulbis. Gulbis has made a mint posing for tasteful bikini calendars in the past years, and now has broken through as a winner on the LPGA Tour (last weekend at the Evian Masters).

SMALL CALIF. PAPER STOKES WEB FRENZY WITH PHOTO: It’s been a crappy last couple weeks for Allison Stokke.

First, the prodigious SoCal high school pole vaulter has been deluged by unwanted admirers on the internet since sports bloggers (With Leather apparently was first out of the box) went hog wild over her gorgeous face and figure.

And last Saturday at a meet in Norwalk, CA., she thought she had cleared a personal best of 13-10 (which would be the best mark in the U.S. this year) only to find out that meet officials had made a mistake (twice!) in measuring the heights of her vaults. She did however still qualify for the state finals.Stokke and her parents have now officially broken their silence on her sweeping internet celebrity, first to the NEWPORT (CA) DAILY PILOT newspaper last Friday. The WASHINGTON POST, which sent a reporter to the Norwalk meet, follows up with a piece about her today.

The Pilot made the curious decision to run an attractive posed shot of Stokke with its chronicling of “attention (that) has taken a lewd — and in one case downright fraudulent — turn.“:

The Post pairs its piece with a more appropriate image, while portraying an even starker scene: “The wave of attention has steamrolled Stokke and her family in Newport Beach, Calif. She is recognized — and stared at — in coffee shops.

“She locks her doors and tries not to leave the house alone. Her father, Allan Stokke, comes home from his job as a lawyer and searches the Internet. He reads message boards and tries to pick out potential stalkers.“We all feel sympathy for Stokke and you can understand her paranoia, which at some point will diminish. The sometimes inappropriate *admiration* she’s receiving is no different than other high-profile sports figures like Danica Patrick, Erin Andrews and Natalie Gulbis.

Yes, it is different because of her age, but that’s where the parents step in to mitigate the paranoia quotient. So it worries me to read that her dad is scouring message boards to “pick out potential stalkers“. His efforts, while well-meaninged, aren’t going to change anything and will likely only fuel his daughter’s distracted state.

Stokke herself to the W-P: “Even if none of it is illegal, it just all feels really demeaning.”

Again, we should tread lightly when it comes to this kind of situation, but with rhetoric like that, at the very least she can rest easy in knowing that she’ll fit right in at her intended college of choice: Cal.

SPORTS HOTTIES NEEDN’T BE ON TOP TO HIT MOTHERLODE: Darren Rovell reports that female athletes needn’t be on top to hit a financial motherlode - as he details the “O-fers” of some of women’s sports highest profile performers:

• Anna Kournikova: O-for-122 in WTA singles events
• Michelle Wie: O-for-40 in LPGA and PGA events
• Danica Patrick: O-for-31 in IRL events

• Natalie Gulbis: O-for-138 in LPGA events:

Rovell points out that despite those shutout streaks, all four female athletes have raked in countless millions in endorsement and cheesecake calendar sales. In her heyday, Kournikova made $15M per year in endorsements.

In contrast, probably the most notorious O-fer in sports history belongs to Bob Buhl, who went O-for-70 at the plate for the entire 1962 MLB season.

With all the drought-born dough flying around these days, you would’ve thought the least Buhl could’ve scored was a free eyebrow-waxing.

CNBC REPORTER ROVELL: LPGA BUTCHERS UP NEW LOOK: CNBC Sports Business Reporter Darren Rovell mulls over the new LPGA logo, and the results aren’t pretty: “I’m laying down the smack on whoever came up with the new LPGA logo. Have you seen this thing? It’s the silhouette of woman in a visor with some big curly 1980s hair.”

“In an era where the LPGA has as great of a chance to break out as it ever has with the likes of Paula Creamer, Michelle Wie and Natalie Gulbis – and I’m trying to say this in the most politically correct way — paying tribute to butch LPGA stars of old doesn’t cut it. I’m not sure what the right logo is – I’m not a designer – but it isn’t a woman with a mullet, that’s for sure.”

From my perspective, with the new logo, it appears that tour officials merely wanted to showcase their best player, the bearded lady Annika Sorenstam:

This would’ve been my preference, the incomparable Gublis:

But who am I to judge? When you consider the precipiced popularity growth of the ladies tour in recent years, they obviously know what they’re doing. Yeah. Uh-huh.