• Wondering who that bikini-clad brunette babe is in Mark Sanchez’s GQ photoshoot? Wonder no more - say hello to Hilary Rhoda.

• The L.A. Clippers win the 1st pick in the NBA lottery. Can’t wait to see how they screw it up this time!

• Najeh Davenport won’t take any crap from thieves trying to steal his car.

• Joe Montana gets a coaching gig with his son’s high school football team.

• It’s funny when a Mets fan loses a gold tooth in a Citi Field toilet. It’s even funnier when the same fan gets her arm stuck in the same toilet.

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You know, you defecate in one hamper, and people never let you forget about it. That’s life for Najeh Davenport, who had his car stolen, chased it down and recovered it, and all I’m thinking is poop poop poop.

The former Steelers back left his car running in front of a family member’s house, when someone hopped in and took off with it.  Davenport somehow commandeered another vehicle and went in hot pursuit, finally catching up to the car thief and holding him until police arrived. I guess his skills at holding it have improved.

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Najeh Davenport is looking for work. The former Steelers & Packers running back saw his NFL employment status go down the drain when he was released by the Colts back in January. And after 7 years in the league, Najeh may be ready to flush away his pro football career to devote more time to his true love - modeling.

MONDESI’S HOUSE has the poop on Davenport’s attempted foray into the world of photoshoots & fashion sense. As you can see in the photo above, he’s serious about his new career. (Or he’s falling asleep. Don’t crap out on us, Najeh!) But don’t take our word for it - let’s hear it from Dookie himself.

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• THE WORLD OF ISAAC trims up some styling news of Pistons player Rip Hamilton sporting a new Amish look.

• Dan Patrick’s radio show turns one today, and who better to help celebrate the media milestone than Charles Barkley.

• WITH LEATHER can’t understand why roof surfing hasn’t caught on yet.

• The ANCHORAGE DAILY NEWS reports that Barrow, Alaska - the first town to host a high school football team above the Arctic Circle - is about to host the first high school football playoff game above the Arctic Circle.

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The last time I was accused of doing something that “outraged the public decency”, it involved a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding, four or five dancers from Cheetah’s and a lot of duct tape. Let’s just say I’m not allowed within 100 feet of any city park ever again. But apparently what counts as “outrageous” in Los Angeles is a little different in Norman, Oklahoma.

At least that’s what I took from the AOL FANHOUSE story on Oklahoma basketball star (and likely 2009 NBA Draft lottery pick) Blake Griffin after he was cited for “Outraging the Public Decency“after being spotted urinating in some bushes at a parking lot near campus early Thursday morning.

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Brewers fans might want to slip Prince Fielder a Wendy’s Triple or three.

• Meet Maya Gabeira, Brazil’s latest sexily stunning surfer star.

• Kobe Bryant explains how he was able to leap a speeding Aston Martin in a single bound.

• A construction worker & Boston fan tries to jinx the new Yankee Stadium by burying a Red Sox t-shirt in the clubhouse concrete.

• The Steelers’ Najeh Davenport has his assault charges dumped.

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Steelers running back Najeh Davenport, renowned for his skills in hamper defecation, has recently gotten himself into some trouble for allegedly slapping and punching his baby momma, Anita Pearson. But now he can wipe his behind and his record clean, as he was acquitted of the misdemeanor charges of domestic violence, child endangering and unlawful restraint, the ASSOCIATED PRESS reports.

“I never kicked her, hit her … punched her or slapped her, she’s making that up,” he told jurors.

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RICH EISEN NOT THE POOPY PANTS WE THOUGHT HE WAS: Ryan Hudson of REAL CLEAR SPORTS has a funny from Rich Eisen of NFL Network (and Perfect 10 boxing fame!).

Eisen’s on-air highlighting of a Ben Roethlisberger TD pass to Najeh Davenport during Pats-Steelers: “and then Roethlisberger dumps one to Davenport for the score.”

Hudson: “Seemingly innocent…until you remember that Davenport once defecated in a women’s hamper: ‘A woman sleeping in the room, Mary McCarthy, told police she was startled by a strange sound and saw Davenport squatting in her closet. Davenport then allegedly defecated in a laundry basket, McCarthy told detectives.’“