This story comes straight from the “There’s no way this is going to last” file, but there’s a particular Olympian who is scheduled to appear at a handful of motivational speaking gigs in California later this month. And, as you might guess (since you’re reading it here, after all), that particular Olympian has earned himself a bit of criticism for toking away on some old school marijuana.

Yup, by now you guessed it: Bongtastic Michael Phelps is going to give speeches to burgeoning capitalists in Sacramento, San Francisco, San Jose and Oakland in late February — his first Sacramento date is Feb. 24 — and March. A company called Get Motivated! is responsible for the business seminar where Phelps and a host of others will speak, which begs the question: What does Phelps know about business except that money flocks to him when he wins? That’s all he’s got to go on, right?

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Publicly, Tiger Woods is saying there is no chance he will be attending this weekend’s Ryder Cup matches in Kentucky, even as a spectator. The DAILY TELEGRAPH is reporting that Woods might be planning a surprise appearance to give a speech and fire the team up. The question I have is simple: Why would that matter?

Last time I checked, Tiger was on the last Ryder Cup team, the one that was blown out by the same record margin as the team in 2002. Hey, Tiger was on that team too? I thought he never lost, ever. If having him actually play last time (and earn a third of the team’s points) wasn’t enough, how much of a difference is him giving a “rah-rah” speech going to make?

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