Polly Wants A Cracker, Instead Gets A Red Card

There are a lot of differences between sports fans here in America and over in England. For instance, when Americans run onto the court or field, they’re usually doing it to celebrate the home team’s victory. When the English do it, they’re generally running onto the pitch with the intentions of murdering either a player or a referee. It’s a subtle difference, sure, but it’s rather important.

parrot soccer ref red card

Of course, security in both countries differs, as well. Where as here in the States they generally perform full cavity searches to make sure you’re not sneaking in a half-pint of Jack Daniels, in England they’re more concerned with keeping you off the field or rioting, so you can bring more stuff into the stadium with you. Could you imagine bringing your parrot with you in a cage while going to see a Pirates game? There’s no way in hell they’d let you do that, but in England it’s cool. It also leads to trouble.

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Blog It: Gary Coleman Offered Baseball Contract

• What’choo talkin’ about? HOME RUN DERBY strokes us news that a minor league team is willing to offer Gary Coleman a contract.

Gary Coleman Madison Mallards

• The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE rolls along happy news that police have recovered a sick kid’s wheelchair that was stolen during a Twins game.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED takes a trip with Cincinnati Bengal Kenny Irons to the local Hooters.

• MACHOCHIP speaks with Juan Carlos Lozano & Raul Saenz, the duo behind the Brewers’ Spanish-language radio broadcasts.

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