8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
Tony Kornheiser’s three years in the booth at Monday Night Football have been pretty uneventful. Some people liked him and his humor in the booth, while others would rather have had a real football mind instead of the guy who was supposed to appeal to the common man. Personally I didn’t really care because when I’m watching football I’m not paying attention to the announcers as mush as I am my fantasy team.
Still, while I was never a huge fan of Kornheiser in the booth, I did think he was a lot better after Ron Jaworski replaced Joe Theismann. Of course none of that matters anymore because once Tony saw that this season’s MNF schedule included a few trips to the west coast and that he’d have to get in a plane more than usual, he decided he’d had enough. Now he’ll be replaced by former Raiders and Buccaneers coach, and horror movie star, Jon Gruden.
As Scott went over in the Speed Read this morning, there was quite the case of deja vu going on in Buffalo last night. Not only did the Buffalo Bills lose another close game at home on Monday Night Football — you may remember their collapse against the Cowboys last season — but to lose on a Rian Lindell field goal attempt that sailed wide right at the end a la Scott Norwood in Super Bowl XXV probably brought up a lot of bad memories.
Of course, as we all know there’s only one way to deal with bad memories, and that’s trying to erase them from your mind before they have a chance to entrench themselves in your psyche. One way of doing that would be suicide, but that’s a bit too drastic. After all, it’s only football. No, the safest, most efficient way to erase your memories of an event is to get really drunk.
Have you voted yet? Why haven’t you voted yet? Why do you hate democracy so much? You know who loves democracy and elections? Chris Berman. That’s why we had Barack “And A Hard Place” Obama and John “Raising” McCain being interviewed by The Swami at halftime of Monday Night Football, answering the hard-hitting questions on topics such as health care, specifically their stance on importing medicine from Canada.
Actually, they didn’t give their stance on “222s,” although that would have been more enlightening than what we got out of each candidate. I saw Bob Costas interview President George W. Bush during the Olympics, and Chris Berman is no Bob Costas.
Here’s what each candidate would change about sports: McCain would get tough on steroids, while Obama would put a playoff in place for college football. That McCain chose a topic six months past relevancy while Obama went for the classic suck-up that all sports fans care about shows why the polls stand where they do.
Judge for yourself. First, Sen. Obama:
…and Sen. McCain:
And, oh yeah, there was a football game last night! And to draw a Presidential Election analogy, the Redskins played Walter Mondale to the Steelers’ Ronald Reagan (anyone under 30 should look it up on Wikipedia), as Pittsburgh rolled to a 23-6 victory. The only downside for Pittsburgh? Ben Roethlisberger left at halftime with a bum shoulder.
How come Pittsburgh has someone like Byron Leftwich as their back-up QB, but the Cowboys’ choices post-Tony Romo resemble the Republican ticket: ancient (Brad Johnson) and ineptly overmatched (Brooks Bollinger)?
Here’s what else happened last night for you to read before you get out and vote because it’s your civic duty as Americans and your fathers died for this right and if you don’t vote you are spitting in the graves of dead soldiers from World War I and the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln will haunt you until your death (maybe I’m being a bit hyperbolic, but you really should vote):
Break out the hair gel and popped collars, and get ready to cover your junk: the CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER says the Brady Quinn era for the Browns will officially begin on Thursday, as the strapping young man gets the nod ahead of Derek “I Suck” Anderson for Cleveland’s game against Denver.
UFC middleweight Chris Leben might want to consider changing his nickname from “The Crippler” to “The Juicer” after MMA JUNKIE reports that he has been suspended for nine months after testing positive for steroids. John McCain would put Leben over his knee and give him a firm paddling if he’s elected President.
The BOSTON GLOBE brings news that Theo Epstein has signed a new contract with the Red Sox to stay on as GM. Epstein held out until the team promised to pick up all gorilla suit-related dry cleaning bills.
The LAS VEGAS SUN says the sun is setting on Greg Maddux, as the future Hall of Famer is finally set to call it a career after 23 seasons and 367 wins.
Meanwhile, the DALLAS MORNING NEWS has news that Greg’s brother Mike Maddux has been named pitching coach for the Texas Rangers, as he can teach them everything he learned about being a throughly mediocre-to-average pitcher (which would be a drastic improvement for the Rangers).
The AP notes that Ken Mink, the 73-year-old college basketball player at Roane State Community College, scored two points last night in his team’s 93-42 win over the King’s College JV team. Maybe John McCain will have something to look forward to post-election after all…
The BUDAPEST TIMES reports that former Hungarian Olympic athlete Krisztián Tölgyesi has been arrested after numerous explosive devices were found in his car. John McCain has no opinion on this, as long as they weren’t fueled by steroids.
Iowa can’t seem to stop getting their football players arrested, as the CEDAR RAPIDS GAZETTE has word that Hawkeyes DB Harold Dalton has pleaded guilty to three booze-related charges after a fight at a bar on Sunday. That’s three arrests this season for Iowa players, if you’re keeping track.
Over the last few months sports and politics have crossed paths many times as Barack Obama and John McCain continue to do everything humanly possible to get votes, and realize that sporting events are a great way to reach the male demographic. That’s why Obama was in Pennsylvania a few weeks ago saying he was rooting for the Phillies, and that’s why John McCain and Sarah Palin have been dropping pucks at hockey games.
Well just because the election is this Tuesday, that doesn’t mean either candidate is ready to sit back and let the votes fall where they may. No, they realize they only have one more shot to get to us sports fans, and they’re going to take it. Which is why both Presidential hopefuls will be showing up on Monday Night Football this, you guessed it, Monday night.
You can’t really blame the Tennessee Titans for getting carried away. They’re the only undefeated team left in the NFL, and they have a huge Monday Night Football match on the 27th against the rival Colts. (that’s a rivalry in the sense of Captain Ahab and Moby Dick, when only one side thinks it’s a rivalry. Titans fans are so cute when they think they’re relevant.)
(”Don’t sweat it…baby blue is totes hotter than royal blue.”)
At the last Tennessee home game, an ominous message flashed on the scoreboard:
Titans Code Blue Be A Part of History 10.27.08
If it’s what everyone thinks it is, it may be the least well thought out promotion since nickel beer night.
DC SPORTS BOG takes aim on Chris Cooley’s tale of the Redskins’ team bus being egged by some overzealous Eagles fans. They also returned home to find a flaming bag of dog poop on the front steps of FedEx Field. Cooley’s tales led radio host and former Redskin Jon Jansen to fondly recall old ladies mooning the team bus.
JALOPNIK brings you the “Ten Best Tailgating Vehicles,” which includes Toledo fans and their ambulance - which would be a more appropriate tailgating vehicle for Mets fans.
DEADSPIN examines the role jerseys will have in today’s tilt of college football games. Penn State responds to Georgia’s Blackout with Whiteout?
THE 700 LEVEL spots Sarah Palin at “Pat Burrell’s favorite pick up spot, the Irish Pub.“
END ZONE BUZZ ranks “Tebow Vacations at Neverland Ranch” as their number two pick of the “Inappropriate Signs of the Week” from today’s College GameDay crowd in Athens. We’d give you number one but its…inappropriate.
AWFUL ANNOUNCING provides the scoop that ESPN’s NFL COUNTDOWN will be airing a segment on the “Fog Bowl,” 1989 Bears vs Eagles game that was played in the fog. Just like NFL COUNTDOWN that game was pretty much unwatchable, but for different reasons. Read more…
With a new season of Monday Night Football underway, we wonder what happened to one of the former stars of the primetime sideline - Lisa Guerrero. Last we heard, she was starring in a (presumably straight-to-video) film co-produced by her hubby, ex-baseballer Scott Erickson.
Well, fans, you’ll be relieved(?) to know that the still-inspiring actress hasn’t fully abandoned the sports landscape, as she’s achieved a new athletic-related gig - as a blogger for the L.A. TIMES.
It looks like Tony Kornheiser picked the wrong week to possibly insult Mexican dry cleaners. That’s because, according to the FORTH WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM, Monday night’s ESPN broadcast of the Cowboys/Eagles game was the most-watched event in cable TV history, drawing in a whopping 18.6 million viewers.
To put that into some perspective, that’s more than 6.5 million more viewers who turned into the first showing of the series finale of The Sopranos. Although I think viewers were probably miffed by ESPN’s decision to have the screen cut to black just as Donovan McNabb released his final fourth down throw. (Some fans think they deserve closure during a game - yeesh.)
Late in last night’s thrilling MNF game between the Cowboys and Eagles, Tony Kornheiser took some time to apologize for something he said earlier in the broadcast, without referencing it directly. He said he was sorry for his “mistake” and says it wasn’t the first and won’t be the last one he’ll make.
But what the heck did he say? I was watching all night and hadn’t really noticed anything. Later I came to find that the offending comments were an off-the-cuff attempt at humor that Tony made after the audio had been switched briefly to the ESPN Deportes booth (while showing a replay of the kick-return TD by Felix Jones). But was it really racist? It wasn’t funny, but I’m kind of confused otherwise.
(Video of potential political incorrectness after the jump.)
