Douglas-Roberts Has Fallen, And He Can’t Get up

Chris Douglas-Roberts of the Milwaukee Bucks provided us his reaction to Cleveland Cavaliers guard Mo Williams saying recently that after LeBron James departed for Miami, he considered retiring.

Chris Douglas-Roberts laughs on Twitter at Mo Williams claiming he considered retirement

Marc J. Spears of Yahoo Sports previously reported that the 27-year-old Williams said of the prospect of retirement, “I contemplated it. I really sat down and envisioned life after basketball. I really saw myself not playing.”

My reaction to Williams’ retirement threat, while not as oxygen-depriving as CDR’s, was similar to when a garden variety boxing champion makes the same claim.

Speed Read: Magic Ready To Ruin Dream Finals

Somehow LeBron James ended another game against the Orlando Magic in their Eastern Conference Finals with the ball in his hand and a chance to win the game. But unlike Game 2, he couldn’t find the miracle the Cavaliers needed, as his desperation heave from 35 feet was off the mark, wrapping up the Magic’s 116-114 OT victory. Orlando now holds a commanding 3-1 series lead, as the Cavaliers are threatening to take a page from the Ohio State football team and choke at the worst possible moment.

LeBron James

And perhaps it was fitting, since the game only went to overtime on two James free throws on a questionable foul committed by Mickael Pietrus with six seconds left - with James needing a friendly roll to get the second. (And honestly, how can the best player on the planet be so average and unreliable from the free throw line? Do you ever remember feeling nervous when Michael Jordan stepped to the line at the end of a game?)

Dwight Howard

It’s hard to blame James for Game 4: after all, he did have 44 points and 12 rebounds. Even the eight turnovers in the box score are more a reflection of him trying to do everything because he had to than any faults. No, the big problem for Cleveland is that they’ve pretty much turned back into King James and His Inept Court of Jokers this series, with his supporting cast basically providing nothing (Delonte West and Mo Williams combined to go 12-for-30 in Game 4, including 0-for-6 from behind the arc.)

Meanwhile, the Magic were unconscious from three-point range, going 17-for-38, with Rafer Alston leading the way with six threes on the way to a 26 point night. And Dwight Howard played angry in overtime - perhaps over picking up his sixth technical foul of the season, or because he thought he was fouled at the end of regulation. No matter what the reason, he took it out on the Cavaliers, scored on three straight dunks en route to 10 points in the extra session. So a dominant big man plus great outside shooting is a good thing, I guess.

Sidney Crosby

Also a good thing: having your league’s best player and leading scorer on the same team. That’s exactly what the Pittsburgh Penguins have, and why they are heading back to the Stanley Cup after a 4-1 win over the Carolina Hurricanes to sweep the Eastern Conference Finals. And even though they didn’t score in the series-clincher, Penguins stars Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin had done more than enough, proving to be way too much for a game but overmatched Carolina side. So while the NBA is wincing at losing their dream match-up, the NHL has to be thrilled with a likely Penguins vs. Red Wings rematch.

Mike Tyson

Finally, to update a tragic story we told you about earlier today, KPHO-TV in Phoenix reports that Mike Tyson’s daughter Exodus, 4, has died from injuries she sustained in a freak accident at her family home in Arizona. No matter what you think about Mike Tyson as a person, monster or character in a classic Greek tragedy, your heart has to go out to him and his family. For anyone with a child, reading about this gets your stomach all tied up in knots.

  • So after what PRO FOOTBALL TALK had reported was a tug-of-war to sign John Lynch as an NFL analyst, NEWSDAY says that the winner is Fox, snatching the former Buccaneers and Broncos standout from ESPN. Lynch will likely be replacing Brian Baldinger, which means that he’ll need to have his finger run over with a steamroller to match the “analyst with the gross digit” quota at the network.
  • Brian Baldinger and his gross finger

  • Is this a sign that the Anquan Boldin contract mess is about to come to an end?: ESPN.COM says that the disgruntled Cardinals wide receiver has fired Drew Rosenhaus as his agent. Stepping in? This guy.
  • Ready for a career switch to the exciting and fast-paced world of sports business? Fat chance, says the NEW YORK TIMES, as tough economic times have made jobs in the industry tougher to get than ever. In fact, it’s so bad that people actually want to work for the Cincinnati Bengals.
  • A new blog is asking people to vote Manny Ramirez into the 2009 All-Star Game to prove a point about how ridiculous MLB’s stance is on steroids. I say let’s really send a message and vote Jose Guillen in.
  • A STERN WARNING digs up an old Japanese tire commercial featuring Dennis Rodman, and it’s every bit as weird and indecipherable as anything you would expect involving Japanese TV and The Worm. But at least there weren’t any midgets involved:

  • As the BOSTON HERALD says, this is how bad it’s gotten for David Ortiz: last night against the Twins, he was dropped to the No. 6 spot in the line-up for the first time in more than five years. Not that it mattered; thanks to another lousy start by Jon Lester, Boston fell to Minnesota 5-2.
  • Top Orioles prospect Matt Wieters is getting his call-up to the big leagues, and is expected to make his big-league debut as a catcher on Friday against the Tigers. CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING wonders if the Baltimore sports media is making too big of a deal about this. (i.e. could Peter Schmuck please remove his tongue from Wieters’ mouth?)
  • The NEW YORK TIMES has the latest from Roland Garros (English translation: Ron Garrett) Stadium and the French Open: Serena Williams serves a “horrendous” performance, while James Blake is bounced yet again.
  • Just how dominant has Zack Greinke been this season for the Royals? As the KANSAS CITY STAR reports, he gave up one earned run in his fifth complete game of the season, a 6-1 win over the Tigers…and his ERA actually went up slightly, “ballooning” to 0.84.
  • Probably not what Marshall wanted to hear about their prized football recruit A.J. Graham: the TALLAHASSE DEMOCRAT says that Florida’s “Mr. Football” was arrested on robbery charges - just hours before his scheduled high school graduation.

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Celtics Sore About Cavaliers’ Late-Game Dancing

The Cleveland Cavaliers were certainly in a good mood during their 107-76 blowout of the Boston Celtics on Sunday. (Why, Anderson Varejao was in such high spirits, he didn’t even notice Ray Allen giving him an elbow to his groinal region.) And it was such a fun time at the Quicken Loans Arena for the Cavs that some players decided to do a little dancing before the final horn sounded.

Mo Williams LeBron James

(Mo & LeBron wave their fists in the air, wave ‘em like they just don’t care)

LeBron James, Delonte West and Mo Williams got their groove on while the clock ticked down toward Cleveland’s 39th home win of the season. And the busting of such moves rubbed at least one member of the Boston media the wrong way - enough so that he asked David Stern if he was going to do something about it.

(Video of one of the offensive dance routines is after the jump.)

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Barack Obama Officially Our One & Only Overlord

• Guess there was something going on over in Washington D.C. today - inoculation, immigration, irrigation … something like that.

Barack Obama oath

(“Hail to the ME!”)

• Racial slurs, gay bashing, simulated masturbation - Australian Open organizers really know how to put on a show!

Donovan McNabb needs a new lawn, thanks to some Arizona arsonists.

• A priest who blessed the Cubs’ dugout says the team has been talking smack about his services. Railing on one of God’s reps? Good thing Cubs fans aren’t superstitious or anything.

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Clever Caption Contest: Bynum Can’t Take No Mo

Hey, readers! Happy Inauguration Day! And what better way to welcome Barack Obama into the White House than with the pomp & circumstance of another SbB Clever Caption Contest!

Today’s snapshot features the Lakers’ Andrew Bynum laying out the Cavs’ Mo Williams, as LeBron James lingers in the background:

Andrew Bynum Mo Williams LeBron James

Now it’s time for you to make an executive decision: How else would you describe this scene? Submit your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced at the end-of-the-day recap, with a chance to be hailed as The Chief! (Of caption writing, anyway.)

Good luck & good writing! And God Bless America!

Blog-A-Roni: Favre To Be Featured On Madden XX

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING hikes along word that the cover boy for Madden’s 20th anniversary edition will be …

Madden XX Brett Favre

Brett Favre?

• Speaking of the QB, PRO FOOTBALL TALK sends a friendly reminder that he’ll be on David Letterman tonight (well, not *on* him, but on his show). We still hope they use this Top Ten list.

• It’s the most wonderful time of the year, as FAN IQ’s 100% INJURY RATE takes a peek at the Houston Texans cheerleader tryouts.

• DEADSPIN learns that Terrell Owens‘ legal beagles are going after TheDirty.com over his appearance in a porn-related photo.

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