Lenny Dykstra’s Financial Meltdown Is Complete

Just over a week after Lenny Dykstra filed bankruptcy and then gave a bizarre interview to CNBC saying that it was just a “reorganization” tactic to get his financial ducks in a row, word comes that he is, in fact, pretty much broke. This despite claims from his lawyer last week that his stated assets would turn out to be more than $50 million, when Chapter 11 paperwork indicated the answer was more like $50,000. The true hero in all of this? Mitch Williams, who predicted this back in January. But even Wild Thing thought it would take another two years or so.

Lenny Dykstra

(I play…dirty)

The latest news comes from paperwork documenting the ongoing divorce proceedings between Dykstra and his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Terri. The latter is requesting $40,000 per month in child and spousal support, based on his “historical income.” But Dykstra has responded that his only source of income right now is his MLB pension — in the amount of $5,700 per month.

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Lenny Dykstra’s Gritty, Gutty Portfolio Collapsing

Despite Lenny Dykstra’s insistence that every word of a GQ article ripping him to shreds like chewing tobacco was a bald-faced lie, at least some of it seems to be true. At the very least, he’s just about out of money and will soon lose his mansion and private jet.

Lenny Dykstra and Jim Cramer

A creditor has already impounded his Gulfstream II jet and the loan he got to keep his PLAYERS CLUB magazine afloat was tied to his $18m mansion in California. Now that the loan is sinking, the mansion may slip underwater as well. (Not that he was keeping up the payments on the mansion itself, either.) If only he had been paying 110% on the field and off…

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Wild Thing: Dykstra Will Be Broke In Three Years

No one should have been shocked that Lenny Dykstra was far less of a financial savant than he portrayed himself to be in countless media interviews. After all, this is someone who allegedly rang up huge gambling debts and was sued by his former accountant for more than $110,000. Plus, everyone know that you take financial advice from someone named Randolph or Mortimer, not someone who goes by “Lenny.”

Mitch Williams and Lenny Dykstra hate each other

But he always seemed like the type of guy who would be a great teammate in the clubhouse. Someone would would bring lots of energy, and get the other players fired up. But not all of his former teammates seem to agree, such as Phillies reliever/World Series goat Mitch Williams, who told the READING EAGLE that Dykstra was something of a pariah in the clubhouse:

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Speed Read: Red Sox Continue Ownage Of Angels

I’m starting to get the impression that the Angels don’t like playing the Red Sox in October all that much. The supreme ownage continued last night as the Sox took Game 1 of the ALDS 4-1 at the Big A. Boston has now won 10 consecutive playoff games against the Angels, a streak that has spanned three different incarnations of the Angel franchise even though they’ve played in the same stadium the whole time. The first game in the streak was the infamous Dave Henderson/Donnie Moore Game 5 of the 1986 ALCS. Incidentally, the Angels took eight of nine from the Sox during the 2008 regular season.

Mike Napoli is bumming

The biggest problem for the Angels? This guy is always the home plate umpire:

It's Enrico Pallazzo!

His strike zone is always brutal in the top of the seventh inning.

New England columnists are singing the praises of Jon Lester and Jason Bay, while So Cal writers are bemoaning the gaffes of Gary Matthews and Vlad Guerrero, who curiously tried to go first to third on a ball that was hit 150 feet. One writer wonders if the Angels will ever beat their arch-rival.

Meanwhile, the Cubs extended a streak of their own. They’ve now lost seven straight in the postseason dating back to the 2003 NLCS. James Loney’s grand slam stunned the Wrigley crowd and sent the Dodgers on their way to a 7-2 win. Joe Torre had a plan to make Ryan Dempster work hard, and it paid off with L.A. drawing seven walks off the Cubs starter. Dempster had few answers for tying a career-high in wildness.

The Phillies won their first playoff game since 1993, surviving Mitch Williams‘ ceremonial first pitch and discarding the Brewers 3-1. Brad Lidge wasn’t exactly on top of his game, but he got the job done in the ninth inning. The Crew didn’t go very far in earning respect in Philly.

If you thought that the 2005 NBA Finals between San Antonio and Detroit was exciting, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! The WNBA apparently uses a multi-game format to decide its champion, and the Shock of Detroit dispatched the Silver Stars of San Antonio in Game 1 of possibly a best-of-five series. The best thing about all of this is that we get to see Russian/South Dakotan Becky Hammon in action for a few more days:

Becky Hammon

Kendra Wilkinson

  • Pirates broadcaser Lanny Frattare has decided he’s seen enough, according to USA TODAY. Frattare was in the booth for the 1979 World Series title, but should’ve just gotten out then. Instead, he’s been the voice of 16 straight losing seasons.
  • When Ryan Braun hit his game-winning home run against the Cubs on Sunday, this lady jumped up and down so vigorously her water broke:

Brewer fans with baby

The MILWAUKEE JOURNAL-SENTINEL’s Jim Stingl has all the excruciating details, including the phrase “it was more like the ground-rule double of amniotic fluid.”

  •  Trail Blazer fans are just a little paranoid about Greg Oden’s health, notes the COLUMBIAN’s Brian Hendrickson. Oden suffered a immensely mild grade-one ankle sprain but that’s no consolation to a base that suffered through Sam Bowie and are facing another year of Joel Przybilla if Oden gets hurt again.

Who’s the worst member of TBS’ baseball play-by-play announcing crew?

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Blog-O-Rama: Manny Makes Red Sox Fans Tumble

• DEADSPIN finds some Red Sox fan rolling along the dugout after Manny Ramirez’s 500th homer.

Red Sox fan about to somersault

• USA TODAY’S GAME ON steps up to say high school b-ball phenom Lance Stephenson has narrowed his college choices to USC, UCLA & Kansas.

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING loses their appetite when Chip Caray & Mitch Williams spend some TBS air time chatting in an Applebee’s.

• CHECK MY TAG is relieved that the St. Louis Cardinals’ experiment with peanut-free seating has cracked the media’s attention.

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Tonya Harding Opera Continues Its Smashing Run

• Theatergoers are certain to have a toe-tapping, knee-capping good time with Tonya Harding - the musical!

big Tonya Harding

• A Phillies pitcher shares a fun flight with Pee Wee Herman.

Pete Carroll calls other coaches lazy.

• Even the bathrooms in English soccer are violent.

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Mitch: The Joe Carter Thing Apparently Still Stings

The PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS reports that last Saturday at a girls youth basketball game in suburban Philadelphia, Mitch Williamscursed at a female referee who was calling a basketball game in which his daughter, a fifth-grader, was playing.

Mitch Williams

(Salsa Southpaw Hurls Spicy Language)

Williams thought his daughter was getting repeatedly fouled with no calls coming from the official. So, as any right-thinking parent who gave up a World Series-winning home run would do, he dropped an f-bomb on the youth league official. Read more…