Miracle Holds Its Tebow Promotion; SUKIT, Florida

As we learned in last week’s episode, the University of Florida gathered its finest barristers and fired off a cease-and-desist order to the Ft. Myers Miracle, threatening the Minor League baseball team with financial destruction if they went through with their “What Would Tebow Do?” promotion.

Tim Tebow (no, not that one)

But you take a team owned in part by Bill Murray and Jimmy Buffett, and throw in overall director of promotions Mike Veeck — son of the legendary Bill Veeck –and what do you have? A team that’s not afraid of the University of Florida or Tim Tebow. The Miracle went ahead and had their promotion anyway.

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Pillow Fighting Chicks And Cheap Beer? I’m There

You may not have been planning to see a Quad Cities River Bandits game this week (or, ever), but now that you know that the Ladies of the Professional Pillow Fight League will be appearing, and it’s Thirsty Thursday, how can you resist? Professional pillow fighting has made few inroads with the typical sports fan — still no live ESPN coverage — and that means it’s the perfect sport for Minor League Baseball to embrace.

Pillow fighting

Because really, how many Salute To The Mullet Nights can you have? It gets redundant. So this Thursday, the rough-and-tumble chicks with the Fluffy Pillows Of Doom will do battle for the amusement of Single-A baseball fans at Modern Woodmen Park in Davenport, Iowa. More raucous pillow-fighting action following the jump. Read more…

Indians Affiliate Holds Their Own Cheap Beer Night

The list of Cleveland sports failures is a long and tragic one. Michael Jordan’s shot on Ehlo, the Indians’ 30-year basement stay, the pillaging of the Browns, the list goes on and on, and we’re on a deadline here, folks. Perhaps the most famous example of sporting Mistakes by the Lake came at 1974’s infamous 10-Cent Beer Night, when the Indians offered up cheap Stroh’s by the armful and ended up with a full-scale 25,000 person riot on their hands.

Cleveland Indians 10 Cent Beer Night 1974

And while riots are generally something to be avoided in the major leagues, in the minor leagues they just think of them as “fan participation.” That explains why the Indians’ single-A affiliate decided to honor the 35th anniversary of 10-Cent Beer Night with … 5-Cent Beer Night. But this time, they pulled it off flawlessly. Hooray beer!

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Experience The Pageantry Of Stubby Clapp Night

June 8 is finally here, and the Memphis Redbirds have a very important question to ask you - Got Clapp? Stubby Clapp, that is, whose likeness will be immortalized this evening when the Pacific Coast League team gives out Stubby Clapp bobbleheads to the first 1,500 fans attending their game with the New Orleans Zephyrs at AutoZone Park.

Stubby Clapp Day, 2007

Richard Keith “Stubby” Clapp is a legend in Memphis, nearly Elvis-like in his appeal. A second baseman who played for the Triple-A Cardinals affiliate from 1999-2002, Clapp still holds the team record for doubles, triples, walks and runs. But the man who was known as the Mayor of Memphis was probably most famous for his pregame back-flip (which I also perform before every shift here at SbB). And don’t forget that other enduring fan favorite: The comical giant bat.

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Minor League Team To Give Their Fans Fart Filters

A baseball game can be a great place for a date, especially if you’re with a girl who enjoys the game of baseball. There is plenty of downtime at a baseball game, which gives you plenty of time to talk and get to know the girl whose pants you’re trying to get into, and convince her to let you into those pants. But baseball games have their dangers, too.

While ballpark food can be quite tasty, it does also tend to have some side effects. Around the fifth or sixth inning you may find yourself needing to relieve a little pressure from your abdomen. You can’t let some air out of your tire with the girl sitting next to you though, because it’s bound to be a deal breaker. Still, the bases are loaded right now and you can’t leave your seat, but you’re about to explode. What do you do?

Inevitably you squeeze one out silently and you just pray it doesn’t smell too bad, and if it does you just hope you can blame it on the fat guy sitting in front of you. She doesn’t, though, and you’re screwed. If only you’d taken her to a Lake Elsinore Storm game.

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Local Team To Pay Tribute To Vick’s Prison Stay

As Michael Vick lounges around in Leavenworth - maybe or maybe not playing football - one local minor league team would like to welcome him to the neighborhood.

Michael Vick Kansas City T-Bones

THE KANSAS CITIAN pitches along news that the Kansas City T-Bones of the Northern League will be honoring the area’s newest incarcerated resident on Wednesday, May 28.

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Red Sox’s Buchholz Bunking With Penthouse Pet

Just doing some double-checking to see of we’re on the Emperor’s Club list.

• Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz has been perusing with a Penthouse Pet.

Erica Ellyson Clay Buchholz

• The Sky turned out to be the limit for a Chicago WNBA coach fired over sexual harassment claims.

Terrell Owens shows his support for the U.S. Olympic softball team.

• A new study suggest that other golfers tense up when Tiger’s in town.

• Plans for a London Olympic Friend-Ship have been scuttled.

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Minor League Team To Give Out Vick Chew Toys

MINOR LEAGUE GIVEAWAY TELLS VICK TO CHEW ON THIS: Always ones to hound on current events, the St. Paul Saints will soon be giving away a Michael Vick dog chew toy:

Michael Vick dog chew toy

The idea came from Vick’s recent indictment on dogfighting charges and the ensuing public backlash. The toys will have the colors of the Atlanta Falcons and include Vick’s number 7. The Saints’ director of media relations explained, “It’s a way for our fans to let their dogs get back at Michael Vick.”

Long Beach Armada curb your dog

The promotion comes on the heels of the Long Beach Armada’s “Michael Vick Animal Awareness Day.” Originally, Vick jerseys and shirts were to be collected and cast into a post-game bonfire. But citing “logistics concerns”, Vick apparel was used instead as pooper scoopers for the free canine attendees.

The dog toy is just one more example of the Saints’ holy attitude towards God’s creatures. In fact, the team has a pig on the payroll, who delivers new baseballs to the umps.

St. Paul Saints pig

But it’s doubtful that Garrison Squealor would enjoy doing the same job delivering footballs for the Vikings. Those pigskins might be someone he knows.