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I call this one: Chuck Knoblauch, the Harris County Jail Portrait. Here’s what steroids and a fistful of Xanax can lead to, kids. Of course I knew that the former Yankee and Twin was arrested last month for allegedly assaulting his common-law wife, but this is the first I’ve seen of his mugshot, unearthed by THE SMOKING GUN. So let’s just go ahead and make this Mugshot Friday, OK?
So the Twins are taking some heat today over their raucous post-game celebration after winning the AL Central on Tuesday. Look at the photo above, and then consider the lead in today’s MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE game story on their 7-2 loss to the Yankees:
Almost predictably, the Twins came up a little flat against the Yankees after Tuesday’s 12-inning thriller.
Almost predictably? Hopefully anyone not connected to the Twins left the lockerroom quickly on Tuesday and laid down a tidy bundle on the Yankees with their friendly offshore bookies. This was the biggest sure thing since the Nazi blitzkrieg was declared the favorite vs. the Polish cavalry. Read more…
If you don’t count the film “Little Big League,” was there ever a more magical two-day stretch in the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome than Oct. 5-6, 2009? First Brett Favre switches jerseys and tames the hated Green Bay Packers, then they take a few hours to sweep the place out and people file in to do it all over again, the Twins winning a one-game playoff with the Tigers in 12 innings, 6-5.
It wasn’t exactly Rio after winning the 2016 Olympics, but it was about as raucous as Minnesotans get. And we shall never see its likes again: The Twins are gone to a new, open-air home next season, the Vikings left to share the dome with the occasional garden expo and Promise Keepers evangelical Christian service. Read more…
If you’ve ever been to the Mall of America, then you know that it takes up several acres, the merchandise is expensive, there’s lots of food and often hanky-panky is going on in the restrooms. Just like the Metrodome. Well, now the two have merged, in a sense.
No longer will it be known at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome … sorry, Hubert. When the Vikings take on the Packers on Sunday Monday, it will be at the Mall of America Field at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, thanks to a new naming rights partnership that was signed today. And to mark the occasion, of course, the Vikings again threatened to move to Los Angeles when their lease is up. Read more…
• Manny Ramirez does his bobbleheads proud with a pinch-hit grand slam.
• But Minnesota Twins legend Harmon Killebrew isn’t so impressed.
• Michael Vick supposedly spent his first day of freedom at a strip club with Allen Iverson. But the no-longer incarcerated QB denies such reports.
• The Cambridge cop accused of acting racist against Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates was also the one who tried to revive Reggie Lewis after the Celtics player suffered a fatal heart attack.
• White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle hurls a perfect game, thanks to a great catch by Dwayne Wise. Guess Ozzie Guillen made the right move, after all.
After Manny Ramirez passed the great Mickey Mantle for sole possession of 15th place in career home runs, the venerable Twins great and Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew told the MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE that “to see his name above Mantle’s on the list . . . that’s a shame.”
(A hero, yes, but an authority on PEDs?)
Killebrew was a contemporary of Mantle’s; each terrorized the AL en route to well over 500 home runs and both are members of the Hall of Fame, but there the similarities end. While Mantle’s well-known as a prolific party animal, Killebrew eschewed the lifestyle, telling SPORTS ILLUSTRATED back in 1963 that for fun, he “like[s] to wash dishes.”
So it’s that disconnect from Mantle’s world that provides the only possible justification for the ignorance displayed by Killebrew with that statement.
In the wake of the awful call at home plate on Monday night that ended the A’s 14-13 win over the Twins (go here if you’re not familiar with the play), the sports media world was spinning yesterday with varying opinions on the idea of expanding instant replay. I guess it was only a matter of time until a call was blown so egregiously at home plate that some people have decided that umpires basically can’t be trusted to get anything right anymore.
(Yeah, that’s not really even close)
Neil Velleman of TMR ZOO makes a pretty good case for expanding replay to cover close calls on the bases, as long as there’s a challenge system that is used in sports like football and tennis. Heck, every play at the wickets in important cricket matches is reviewed instantaneously using video technology to determine whether a runner is safe or not (this is analagous to using replay on the bases in baseball). I guess it is inherently silly that the whole world knew Michael Cuddyer was safe when he slid into home plate, and umpire Mike Muchlinski was the only one who didn’t see it. I’m all for letting officials use their best judgment in situations that require interpretation, but these kinds of plays aren’t really “judgment calls.” A player is either out or he isn’t, and if there’s a better way to determine that, why wouldn’t it be considered?
(Even these guys have replay)
The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE’s Gwen Knapp says that baseball shouldn’t act hastily to enact replay based on one bad call, even though last year’s hastily-enacted system seems to work pretty well. The SACRAMENTO BEE says that even David Stern has given referees latitude to use replay, and that in matters of clear right and wrong there’s no reason not to use the information you have available.
On the flip side, I can see the argument that we’re heading down the slippery slope of not using on-field umpires at all. There are automated systems in place now that can call every pitch a ball or a strike. If similar systems can be developed to determine outs on the bases and call balls fair or foul, why would we need umpires at all? You could also argue that if the bad calls are evenly distributed, everyone will benefit from them at some point. Sure, the Twins were victimized at the worst possible time, but they also shouldn’t have blown a 12-2 lead in the first place.
I just don’t want replay to ever extend into youth baseball, for the sake of future umpire baiters everywhere. I’m still proud of that time I really sold a tag at home plate with my glove when the ball was sitting like three feet behind me and I got the call. And, actually, the more that I think about it, I’m not sure I’m into this whole replay thing. What, is Ozzie Guillen going to argue with a machine? (well, he’s a bad example I guess)
Right after the All-Star break, the Phillies went to Miami for what was billed as a crucial four-game series that might swing the momentum in the NL East toward the Marlins and make the race wide open again. But after sweeping the Fish and taking the first two from the Cubs, the Phils have won 10 games in a row for the first time since 1991, and now look like they might be re-asserting themselves as the team to beat in baseball.
I’m not sure that Pedro Martinez is going to make all that much of a difference, but the idea that they could land Roy Halladay can’t make other NL teams very happy. And one of the biggest reasons for the team’s recent resurgence is Jimmy Rollins, who has decided to wake up after napping through the first three months of the season. Rollins is hitting .375 with a 1.039 OPS in July, which has still only managed to bring his average up to .238 for the year. But with all of the home runs the middle of the order is hitting, it sure can’t hurt to have their lead-off guy on base once in a while. Rollins homered last night, and Jayson Werth’s three-run shot in the bottom of the 13th won the game and kept the Phillies 6 1/2 games in front of second-place Atlanta.
The Dodgers blasted the Reds last night to win their fourth in a row and stay safely ahead of Philly in the race for the best record in the NL, but may have to go without Manny Ramirez for a couple of days after he was hit on the hand with a pitch. X-rays were negative, but he’s listed as day-to-day. Unfortunately, it might mean that he’ll miss his own bobblehead night, which is tonight at Dodger Stadium. Kaiser Permanente, the health-care provider that was originally the sponsor of the giveaway, has decided to withdraw its support because of his positive drug test.
The Red Sox continued their offensive woes last night, losing to the Rangers 4-2 and dropping a full game behind the Yankees, who beat the Orioles 6-4. Even worse for the Sox, Tim Wakefield has been put on the DL because his back is in too much pain to toss a 65-mph floater.
Now, here’s some links to help you pass the time while you wait for that solar eclipse:
• It’s a good thing TMZ got that Michael Jackson death report right, because they were way off on UFC fighter Kimo Leopoldo, who isn’t actually dead. Kimo confirmed his non-death to YAHOO!: “I knew I wasn’t dead.” Well, as long as he knows, that’s good enough for me.
• UNI WATCH says Ivan Rodriguez just decided to change his uniform number to 77 out of the blue the other night. He had to abandon his #7 when he was traded to the Yankees (that Mickey Mantle guy wore it) and now can’t wear it in Houston because of Craig Biggio. So I guess he decided two 7s were better than one. It worked for Ray Bourque (once, anyway).
• And you thought we’d seen the last of Ed O’Bannon. Yeah, well think again, mojambo.
• “Stone Cold” Steve Austin owes the state of California more than $22,000, according to the BIG LEAD.
• MLB TRADE RUMORS says the Nationals aren’t even close to signing Stephen Strasburg, but also maintain that they won’t be conducting any negotiations through the media.
• Tyler Perry is sending all of those kids who were kicked out of that swim club in Pennsylvania to Disney World.
• Mark Cuban is firing back at Ross Perot Jr.’s lawsuit, saying that he “must be desperate from the losses he has suffered from Victory and his hedge funds.”
• Why will the UFL go the way of every other wannabe competitor to the NFL? They’re banking on people actually wanting to see J.P. Losman play.
(The next Tommy Maddox?)
• More proof that soccer’s struggles in America has everything to do with the level of competition in our pro league: a friendly match between Chelsea and Inter Milan drew 81,000 fans to the Rose Bowl last night.
• Model/actress Katie Price, who goes by the name “Jordan,” is apparently a really big star in the U.K. And now that she’s split with husband Peter Andre (someone else who people over there are familiar with), she says she wants to go the WAG route and “do” Frank Lampard and Cristiano Ronaldo. Think she’s got a chance?
One of the most jarring aspects of the Stanley Cup finals, other than the ease with which the Red Wings dispatched the Penguins on Sunday night to push the series to 3-2, has been NBC’s hardball with fans in Detroit and Pittsburgh. For the duration of the playoffs, both teams have been able to hold massive viewing parties in and outside their arenas. It was such a wonderful, organic expression of the communal nature of fandom that it was basically destined to be ruined by business in short order.
(Thousands of fans watching the game with each other? Nope, can’t have this!)
And lo, in stepped NBC, stopping the broadcasts. As HOCKEYBUZZ.COM reported, initially, they blamed the NHL, despite the NHL’s assertion that that was quite not the case. Then came the truth, that it was a business decisions (all the crappy ones are), and their “business is ratings driven.” CRAIN’S DETROIT BUSINESS has the, ahem, money quote:
A near-sellout of Joe Louis could shave a ratings point off the local television ratings measurement, and such ratings are used to establish advertising rates.
So to that, if the all-important ratings model can’t deal with 8-10 thousand people watching a show in one place on one screen, you know what? The ratings model is completely worthless. Seriously. How can NBC or Nielsen not figure out what to do with a giant honking party of some of the most hardcore fans all watching one screen? Is that really a deal-breaker?
And if so, if they’re really curious as to what the ratings would look like if everyone stays home, away from the shared community aspect from which most of the value of a ticket to a game is derived, there’s a really easy answer to all of this. You ready? Dick Ebersol, you taking notes?
All NBC has to do is announce that in exchange for showing the game outside both arenas, attending fans have to fill out a simple, anonymous survey about where they would otherwise watch a game (their place or someone else’s), with how many people, and whatever other information the network needs to most closely approximate what ratings would look like. Use that and Nielsen data to extrapolate what the final ratings would be with that many eyes on a TV, and adjust. That’s it. Easy.
This is a rare, rare opportunity for the NHL and NBC. At no other point are they ever going to be able to get this kind of a free pool of television watchers from whom they can mine valuable demographic information. Forcing them back into their homes and away from a group of thousands of like-minded, passionate fans for the sake of moving a needle one or two points does the city, fanbase, and team a disservice. It’s so easy to work around. Figure it out.
Speaking of soccer [I thought we were talking about hockey. No, I’m dead certain of it.–ed.] [Shut up.–AJ] [You have problems.–ed.], UEFA just got a seismic news flash as Real Madrid, evidently furious at having seen FC Barca take the title, has bought the contract of Kaka from AC Milan. Too bad UEFA contract holder SETANTA SPORTS probably won’t survive to see him in the new kit.
(This is where we mention Kaka’s wife and fine whatever you’re all perverts.)
Kaka, a sensational striker from the one-word-name factory that is Brazil, will reportedly command a 6-year, $94 million contract. That’s enough to make it the most expensive in soccer’s history, barely beating out Zinedine Zidane’s 6-year, $65 million deal with Juventus from eight years ago. Meanwhile, David Beckham is running around for a crappy MLS team in Los Angeles for 30 cents on the dollar and going home to a bag of antlers with oversized sunglasses and the “I’m married, but still vain” haircut straight from Jon & Kate + 8. Sic transit gloria mundi: Glory is fleeting.
We mentioned Andrew Thomas Gallo, the man accused of killing Angels rookie Nick Adenhart and two others in a drunk driving collision, yesterday. Gallo pled not guilty to murder, drunk driving, and fleeing the scene of an accident charges yesterday. Great.
(No, nothing criminal led to this. No way.)
But as we (rightfully) focus on the three people killed far before their time, we should point out that one passenger in Adenhart’s car, 24-year-old Jon Wilhite, has, in fact, survived the crash that left him in critical condition (via the RIVERSIDE PRESS-ENTERPRISE). Wait, that doesn’t appropriately convey the gravity of what happened. He survived internal decapitation.
As MANOLITH explains, internal decapitation, which is exactly as horrifying and life-threatening as it sounds, happens when the skull detaches from the spinal column. It’s usually fatal. Wilhite somehow survived without total paralysis, which is unbelievably rare, and he’s now in rehab with the help of several major leaguers. He’s got a long way to go, but he’s on the right track.
Since we need to get back on a higher note, here are some more links to consider while you’re riding in a cab with former Beach Boy Brian Wilson:
(Yes.)
PROTIP: If you’re trying to determine whether a lady is actually, y’know, a lady (and let’s face it, we’ve all been there), you may not be looking for the right signs. Ladies can have manhands, Adam’s apples, or even hairy chests.* The key is to look at the structure the hips and legs; men’s legs are straight up and down, while women are genetically predisposed to have wider hips and femurs at a significantly different angle. It’s the one physical feature that’s purely impossible to hide.
(Oh, yeahhh.)
Of course, you can also quite easily tell if the person in question is in a men’s locker room while he and his his teammates laugh uncontrollably while he puts on women’s clothing and dances. Oh, and the censors don’t even blur out the man-nipples. Dead giveaway, there. That’s Jose Mijares, above, celebrating a victory with fellow Twins by donning, ahem, a most alternate uniform.
Video is below. You want to watch it. Yes, you do. Read more…
If we told you Sir Elton John was a baseball fan, how would you respond? Is it really that surprising? After all, there’s nothing in The Gay Manifesto: How All Gay People Act All The Time (this book, by the way, doesn’t exist - for many, many reasons) that says gay people can’t like sports or anything. Still, that’s the sort of thing to which about all you can say is, “Well… I guess I never knew that.”
(Evidently, when it comes to hockey, he’s a big Anaheim fan.)
Sure enough, Elton’s a fan of the game, to the point where according to the ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS, he recently got a hold of the Twins’ Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau to exchange autographed pictures with the pair. Why Morneau, it wasn’t exactly clear, but John had some high words of praise for Mauer (H/T: MOUTHPIECE SPORTS): Read more…
