I Ask You, Is Your Coach This Low Maintenance?

Joe Paterno has only one, last smallĀ request in life.

Joe Paterno's last request

Coincidentally, Tim Brewster is often asked the same by Golden Gophers fans.

Prized Recruit Quits Gophers Hoops On Youtube

Myron P. Medcalf of the MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE introduces us to the newest generation of basketball stars, University of Minnesota basketball player Royce White.

Royce White Quits Minnesota Gophers Hoops On Youtube Video

White, who is currently under investigation for stealing a laptop, said on his own Youtube video today that he is quitting the Gophers basketball team because the police inquiry is taking too long. Medcalf:

Minnesota freshman forward Royce White, who was suspended indefinitely due to legal troubles, says he can’t wait any longer for the completion of an on-campus burglary investigation that’s played a key role in keeping him sidelined and away from the team.

The Minneapolis City Attorney’s Office told Medcalf the process could take a month.

Video of the *dramatic* video after the jump. Read more…

Ready For Breathalyzer At Football Stadium Gate?

Pat Borzi of the NEW YORK TIMES reports that the University of Minnesota is now giving breathalyzer tests to students entering Gopher football games at TCF Stadium.

Woman Sneaking Booze Into Football Game

(College fan choice: 2 beers during the game or smuggled hard liquor?)

Before you freak out, only students who have been booted from previous games because of documented alcohol offenses are having their BAC checked. But if any alcohol is detected in students under 21, those students are banned from entering the stadium.

Modeled after a program at the University of Wisconsin, Check BAC (pronounced check back) allows student season-ticket holders who are ejected from a game for intoxication offenses to attend future games by submitting to blood alcohol testing. Students under 21 must be alcohol-free; those 21 or older cannot exceed a BAC of 0.08. The two students at the Illinois game registered a 0.00 on the breath analyzer.

If the school really wants to cut down on drinking at football games, why isn’t this policy enacted for all fans?

Have you ever smuggled booze into a college football game?

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Minnesota Cheerleaders: Sailing With The Captain

Miserabilia weather at Penn State today for The U and the Lions.

Minnesota Cheerleaders Captain Morgan Confiscated By Penn State Security

You would figure the Minnesota cheerleaders are especially expert at warming techniques, and they certainly didn’t disappoint us at Happy Valley today.

Minnesota Cheerleaders Captain Morgan Confiscated By Penn State Security

(Foreshadowing)

Read more…

Playboy Girl’s Secret Name Not A Secret Anymore

It’s a story as old as Hugh Hefner: Girl is blinded by the prospects of celebrity; Figures posing nude for a magazine will be “good for her career”; Parents are shocked & awed when they find out about it through a church acquaintance who stumbled upon it while walking the dog (or some such silliness).

Minnesota Playboy

But unlike most of the women who end up in the pages of Playboy, Austin Voltin (third from left) at least had the good sense to change her name to Austin Thompson. Of course, now that she’s telling her story to Paul Walsh of the MINNEAPOLIS STAR TRIBUNE, it sorta blows her cover, but she gets points for trying.

Read more…

Your College Basketball Tournaments Update

Big Ten: Minnesota’s Blaker Hoffarber knows clutch.

Blake Hoffarber Minnesota Basketball

The freshman guard enjoyed your token game-winning-jumper-as-time-ran-out moment Friday to beat Indiana. But he also hit another huge shot not too long ago. Read more…